The Mystery of Shakespere

Note: I wrote this for school.


The mystery of Shakespeare is a very controversial issue. Uprising as a conspiracy in the last couple hundred of years, it is said that William Shakespeare himself actually didn’t write the plays, poems, and other works of art. There is proof that a William Shakespeare was born, shown on a birth certificate, and that he went to London to become an actor, shown on programs that had his name on it, being a character in the play.


Evidence that Shakespeare himself didn’t write the plays is that in the plays, it shows a sense of education that Shakespeare might not have known anything at all about, such as the great battles in other countries, history of different countries, and more that a son of a glover would most likely never know about, even if he did go to school.


The man that most people think is the real person that wrote all the works, was a man named DuVere. He was of royalty, and lived in the royal palace of England. He knew Queen Elizabeth, and had a private tutor that would have taught him everything that he needed to write the plays, poems, and others.


DuVere would have known the Duke of New Hampton, a man that has shown up in a lot of the Shakespearean sonnets, unlike William Shakespeare, who was just an actor.


DuVere wrote the plays and such, but put them under Shakespeare’s name, so that no one would find out he was the one that wrote them, because it was Un-Christian to write these things.


What Teachers Think About Those “Stupid Clicky Eraser Thingys!”

This portrays what a teacher thinks about when they hear a Clicky Eraser.


“Aaargh those stupid clicky erasers! stop it! stop using them! Nooooo! click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click! AAAHHH! Its driving me CRAZY! I’m gonna kill that kid! I’m gonna kill the manufactures! I’m gonna kill everyone who has one of them! …good, it stopped! click-click-click-click. AAAAAAAAHHHH!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Ok, get a hold of yourself! umm…sing Lamchop’s play along song! Yeah! That’s it! Its a never-ending song! This is the song that never ends, it goes on and on my friends. click-click-click-click. This is the click that never ends, it goes on and on my friends! (the fuck?) We just started clicking, not knowing what it was, but that’s because because it is the click that never ends!”

Just about then, this teacher, which will remain anonymous, strangled someone, was sued, and is now piss poor. Too bad, just because of a clicky eraser, this honors physics college professor lost everything he had. The only defense he had during trial was “that stupid clicky eraser!”


The Mystic Weed

Ok this 7th grader dude was telling indian stories when he tells us about the mystic weed.These beaver brothers hand to get pipes, fire, and the weed. Then they were in a cabian smoking the mystic weed when some lady looks through a hole at them. So they invite her to smoke the mystic weed that fills them with happiness. All the time our teacher is looking at him like hmmmmm….. I’d like some mystic weed right about now


A Story About a Phone and My Head

I was hanging out in my sister’s room for a while. After an hour she got annoyed because I was making fun of her while she was on the phone, so I tackled her into the ground. Then she attacked me with her brand new phone, smacking it against my head and it broke. She tried forcing me out of her room. After ten minutes of laughing I left willingly. The phone didn’t even hurt me.


Old Lesbians Handing Out Cats

These two old ladys have like, 90000 cats, kittens and they are very cute and I want one. I asked, and they said ok, but my momther said, “no.”

I said, whawhahwhaaaaawhyyyyyyyyyyy they are sooooo cute and nice she said, no, and because i said so.

So i said, “boooom!” and she fell and she picked up the ballon and got up my wall is beeping beeeep beeep beeeep beeeep beeeep beeep beeep

what is that

damn alarm clock

Last night, my little sister and her freind came into my room and told me they had a kitten in her room. I went in and they had it in a ziplock baggie (gallon sized), which was a bit odd, she said they were gonna sneek it into her friends house, and her dad would probly let her keep it, they wouldent let it out, so in best interest of the cat I poked a few holes in the bag, (thought i saw his face change colors, heh), my sister said she got it out of some old ladys house, and I thought she had stole it, but the next day on the way to summer school, there was a sign on the garage door that said you could take them (the garage was open a bit) so I reached in and picked one up, and he was sooooooo cuuuuuuuuutttte, and this old lady came out and she was sooo olddd and sooooo cutttteeee, and (if youve seen “Happy Gilmore” you know what im talking about) she was like “Do you want a kitten”, i was like AWWWWWWWWWWWWW that was sooooo cuttttee and a small child walked up behind me (if youve experienced the magic of Sherly Temple, you know what im talking about) and she said “Can I hold her”, I was like AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWww, AWWWWWWWwWWWWWWwWWWW, then i put the cat down and speed walked away, because it was getting really weird…

I want my kitty. My cat is so good, and pretty, and nice, but she might not like a little kitten around the house and Deda knows best my cat is really cool man, im asking her if she wants a kitten around and she said, “meow.”

I want to get it. I dont know if i can just walk up and take it. I wonder if i can break in to their garage.

That day my little sister took one the other day, and gave it to her friend, it pissed me off, because her dad was just like “Oh, a cat, you cant have that.”

She said, “Why?” and hes all “Ohhh, wellllll, ok. Do you need to stop at the pet shop?”

I was like, “What the hell man”

My moms just like, “no.”

so thats why she is screwed up…


What Mr. C Fat Nuts Eats For Lunch and Such

Made in conjunction with davepoobond.

This is a documentary of what Mr. C Fat Nuts eats everyday (or mostly everyday) for lunch, while elmoisfurry is in his computer class thingy, bored off his ass. he was inspired to do this when he saw Mr. C Fat Nuts eating like a lion through the window that separates his class from Mr. C Fat Nuts’ class. And other random occurrences with this fat nutted man.


– September 4, 2001 – What he ate for lunch: 1. Corn on the cob. 2. Some weird little soup thingy out of a foil bowl (a TV dinner kind of thing). 3. Some weird cake or something he was ripping apart

elmoisfurry: As I looked through the window to the other class, I saw Mr. C Fat Nuts going “RAWM-RAWM-RAWM” and chewing his corn. Then he ate his soupy thingy, I didn’t really watch what he did with that, I just saw him eat it sort of. Then he started eating some cakey thingy, ripping it apart, and jamming it in his mouth.


– September 5, 2001 – What he ate for lunch: 1. A bag with some type of paste in it 2. A TV dinner-type-bowl-type-thing

elmoisfurry: There was a bag on his desk and near the bottom of the bag and there was an inch of some weird yellow paste, and it looked like he had a whole bag of paste for lunch. Then I saw him eat some goopy chicken type thing, I had no idea what the fuck it was. I saw him hold his fork really tightly, then Mr. C Fat Nuts stuck his fork into the food in the bowl, into whatever was in the bowl, took it out, and I saw that it was all clumped together in one slab of slop. Then, in one hand he held the thingy on his fork, and was eating it, going “AWM AWRM AWM AWRM,” with the other hand he was typing on his computer, as he ate. That’s all I saw.


– September 7, 2001 – What he ate for lunch: 1. Diet Mountain Dew

davepoobond: Today elmoisfurry was being a bitch, so this is all that davepoobond can remember, and elmoisfurry is such a bastard, that he wouldn’t tell him what he had on the 6th either


– September 10, 2001 – What he ate for lunch: 1. A huge plate of taquitos 2. A huge bowl of guacamole 3. Diet Mountain Dew

davepoobond: elmoisfurry said something about Mr. C Fat Nuts dipping taquitos into the bowl of guacamole and eating half of the taquito, then dipped the taquito back into it, and then he chugged his diet Mountain Dew. Again, elmoisfurry was being a bitch so he wouldn’t give a quote


davepoobond: well, what turned out to be something that was supposed to be an everyday thing for his lunch, turned out to not be something that will be done with everyday because stupid bitch elmoisfurry was moved from his seat in his class, so he can’t see Mr. C Fat Nuts eating lunch anymore….oh well. We’ll post whatever if we see Mr. C Fat Nuts or whatever…..


– September 18, 2001 –

davepoobond: I saw Mr. C Fat Nuts all jolly and happy because he was driving a new Honda Accord that had a really gay blue color, and he was really far away from the steering wheel, but his stomach was only about 2 inches away from the steering wheel. Haa…..


Funny – some guy told us he and his brother followed Mr. C Fat Nuts around to different chat rooms, and Mr. C Fat Nuts was saying “15/m wanna cyber” in chat rooms. pretty nasty.


Ms. E The Math Teacher is Boring

Ms E is so boring. She talks on and on about how b over a equals 3 + 5 and b divided by the square root of 1 equals absolutely 3! How boring can a math teacher get you might say? She just set the record.

She’s a bad teacher too, because she can’t notice I’m writing this in her class. She doesn’t explain anything. She does the easiest problems with not even all the different types of ways to do the problem. She gives us problems like: find the sum of the two lowest greatest consecutive odd negative integers.

Its crazy. She makes us do Long Division with letters. Its absolutely nuts. How do they get x cubed + 3x squared minus 4x minus 12 divided by x squared + 5x + 6 to be x-2!?!?!

I doubt I’ll ever need this shit! We never do it again in our lives! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!




Our Alien

Our Alien’s name is Tayler. She is 9 years old. Tayler can’t walk on this planet, she can only walk on Uranus, because on Uranus one foot has to be taller than the other to be able to walk around.

This Alien can open her body. Inside her body is some extra things for her. For example, she has a few pens to write down info about Uranus. She has tape just in case her mouth comes off. She only drinks oil. She does not eat food.


She hears on her neck. Her eyes are made of stars that sparkle, and they are different colors (one is turquoise, and the other one is bright yellow.) Her body’s color is also turquoise. On the bottom of her feet, she has shields to protect her feet from getting too cold.


Tayler breaths through pipes. She gets around on Uranus, by walking on her shields that connect to her feet. She has a brown box inside of her that has all the oil she needs to drink to stay in good shape.


Her body is made of this thick kind of wood, and her head is made of cardboard with foil on it. Her feet are also made of cardboard and her shields are made of thin metal, because it doesn’t get that cold. Her shields don’t need to be thick.


All About Me!

Hi, My name is sisterpoobond. I am 10 years old right now. My favorite teach-

ers are: Mrs. Gallager, Mrs. Cuttingham, Miss. Mocerie, and of course Mrs. Miller. My favorite subject in school is Math, and Science. My favorite stores that I like o go to are: Limited Too, Afterthoughts, and Miller’s Outpost. I LOVE to go Shopping on the weekends! It is totally one of my favorite hobbies. I like to wear as many cool clothes as I possibly can. Around the world I have been to Catalina, Valley Forge, Big Bear, Lake Tahoe, Los Vegas, San Francisco, Laughlin, Grand Canyon, Hoover Damn, San Diego, Palm Springs, and some other place. And of course I have a lot of really good friends.


My Reaction to the Outsiders

My reaction to the book when I saw the cover was going to be, “oh no, another book I’m going to hate to read and going to get a bad grade on the book report!” But after I read about four chapters I got pulled into the story and wondered, what was going to happen next. I found out what had happened next when I finished reading the book. When I was on the last chapter I was saying to myself, “I’m almost done, I’m almost done!” And finally, when I was actually done with the book I said to my self, “Wow that was a very interesting story to read, I’m really glad I picked this book to read first, instead of one of the others. I know I’m going to get an A on my book report!”

The main character in the story The Outsiders, is a 14 year old boy named Ponyboy. He is one of three in his family. He had two parents but they died in a car wreck, a couple of years ago. Darrel (Darry) is one of Ponyboy’s brothers, and Soda-pop (Soda) is his other brother. Ponyboy is in a group called “greasers” out on the streets. For safety on the streets Ponyboy has to fight but not alone.


Summarizing 6th Grade

The 6th grade would have to be my best year in all the years I’ve been here at my school. This wa my best year because it had lots of challenges to figure out, field trips, and the greatest teachers! Every single teacher in the 6th grade tries their best at being the best they can be, and to tell you the truth, I like that in a teacher. Teachers make hard tests not for us to fail, but only for us to learn things we didn’t know about and to study from our mistakes.


My hardest class is Social Studies. My easiest class would have to be Math. I think that the academics in this 6th grade is improving every year. My favorite field trip was when we went to Pali Mountain. There were strict rules but that was only because the teachers wanted us to be safe at all times. I’ve had a best friend for about 4 years, but in the beginning of the 4th quarter she had to move away. I was very sad but then I found two other great friends. I still miss my other friend that moved away, but I call her every day so I won’t forget her.


In the third grade, I was new at my school and I thought that this school wouldn’t be any better than my old school. But after just one day at my school, I knew that I would enjoy the next four years of my life at my school!

I also like this school because the city I used to live in had some gangs, but here in this city, there aren’t any. I’m very sad that I can’t go to my school next year, but there are many positive things to look forward to. One positive idea, is that at the end of the fourth quarter we get to have no school and a whole day of games and food.


Another positive is that I get to have an elective at the High School. Another idea that I’m looking forward to is that I get to meet many new people at the high school. I’m glad that on the last day of school we’re having a big party, because when the 6th grade goes to high school next year, we will have the best memories, including all the fun we had that day.


My Career Essay

My career choice is to be a veterinarian when I grow up. I interviewed a veterinarian named Dr. Debbie Rhiley, who works at the Altadena Animal Hospital. I chose this profession, because I love all animals and helping them with their problems. What I enjoy most about being around animals is watching them play and have fun. My two favorite house pets would have to be cats and dogs.


In my interview with Dr. Rhiley, I found out that if you want to be a veterinarian, you will have to attend a college. You will be in that college for about four years. Then you will have to go to a vet school for another four years. Dr. Rhiley didn’t attend a trade school. If I decide to be a veterinarian who works mostly with cats and dogs, I will primarily work indoors with my animal patients. If I work with horses or other large animals (cows, sheep, etc.), I would work mostly outdoors.


Dr. Rhiley told me that when someone first becomes a veterinarian, they usually share a large work space with other veterinarians. Then after being a veterinarian for a few years, you could get your own personal office. Dr. Rhiley now has her own office. Traveling is not a part of this job. The farthest you would have to travel, is to the other side of a city, in an emergency.





A beginning salary for a veterinarian is around $60,000 a year. I don’t know about you, but that’s a lot of money! Once established a vet’s salary is around $100,000 a year. Dr. Rhiley gets $100,000 a year because she has been working as a veterinarian for about three years now. I think that part of the reason I want to be a veterinarian is because of how much money they pay you. But mostly it’s because of the love I have for animals.


Dr. Rhiley said that the most positive thing about being a veterinarian is being able to work with animals. Dr. Rhiley’s most negative aspect of being a veterinarian is having to work long hours, and that her job can be stressful. Another negative aspect is working with really mad animals.


Dr. Rhiley explained to me that if you want to become a veterinarian you have to be dedicated to go to college for at least eight years. Dr. Rhiley has been a veterinarian for three years now. I want to be a veterinarian for my whole life until I retire. I will have to be responsible by getting all good grades that I will need, and have the good attitude that is required. My hopes and dreams are to be needed, by helping animals, not making too many mistakes, and to become happy with my career and life.


A Letter to Mr. Boring

Dear Mr. Boring,



I have many hobbies that I like to do over my free time. There are three main things that I like to do over my free time is swimming, the other hobby is shopping, and the third thing is bike riding. I am going to tell you these hobbies in these 2 paragraphs.

My first hobby that I like to do is to swim. In the summer, almost every day I go swimming at one of my friends houses. My other favorite hobby is to shop. I love shopping because when its Christmas time and I have to get certain things done in a certain amount of time and I get all of them done it makes me feel good that I accomplished something.

My third thing I like to do is bike riding. I like to bike ride because its good exercise, its fun, and when my family needs dinner from McDonalds or Round Table Pizza, I can go bike rid over and get dinner. Since its just a couple blocks away. You have just read my three main hobbies that I like to do. The best one out of all of my hobbies that I like to do is probably bike riding. I picked bike riding because there are three or more things you can do with bike-riding.





this is a second letter she sent to him


Dear Mr. Boring,

if I had a choice of picking someone to have dinner with or just to meet, I would have to pick Melissa Joan heart. Melissa is a regular teenager and actress. I picked Melissa because she is one of my favorite actors. I watch her shows everyday at 6:00. Once Melissa was in one of Britany Spears’ music videos! The music video was called “Crazy.”


One of my favorite shows that Melissa acts in is called “Sabrina the Teenage Witch.” Of course Melissa is the one who acts as Sabrina in that show. ” Sabrina the Teenage Witch,” is also in another form, like a book. One question I would ask Melissa would be of she rather be a actress or a Director. I would ask her that question, because she once directed a show and she said that she doesn’t know if she rather be a actor or a Director.


A way of meeting Melissa, would have to be if there was a contest on T.V. or in the newspaper. The contest would be: “Whoever writes the most interesting paragraph, as if you were talking to Melissa Joan Heart herself, you will have the privilege to meet her up in person for 30 minutes!”


sisterpoobond’s Schedule

In the morning: #1 put on bra & shirt, #2 put on underwear & pants,

#3 Show is on at 7.00, and while that is on I have to put on socks and shoes & brush hair.

#4 Eat breakfast

#5 Brush teeth

#6 after that I put on jacket make sure homework in backpack

#7 Pick up room



When I Come Home from school…I…. #1 wash hands #2 read as long as you want #3 do homework.

#4 eat dinner #5 finish homework

#6 put P.J.s on

#7 brush teeth

#8 pick up room


Dinner With My Favorite Person

If I had a choice to have dinner with any person in the world, I would pick a singer or a favorite band to go with. I would want to meet either Britney Spears or the band named Nsync. I pick Nsync because 5 people are always better than 1 like Britney Spears. In the band Nsync there is Justin, J.C., Chris, Lance, and Joey.


I would like to go to dinner with them because they are good pop singers and I am one of their good fans. I have their two CD’s. Those two CD’s sold over 1.3 Million singles. My favorite song they sang is ” Just Got Paid.”


About a week before the dinner, I would tell all my friends that next week I will go to dinner with the famous pop singers Nsync. I will also get 5 pictures of each band member and let them autograph them for me at the dinner. At the dinner I would first ask them for their autographs on the pictures that I got ready for them to sign. At the end of the meal I would ask them to sing my favorite song “Just Got Paid” for me at the restaurant. When the meal is over I would say Thank You and I hope we can do this again someday.

The End