Poetry and songs. Funny and serious.
Everyone knows the birthday song, and quite frankly it sucks. The only reason you want to sing it is to get to the fun part at the end where you just go on forever making up stupid shit.
I don’t know why you start singing about what’s on television, though.
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And many more, on Channel 4
And Scooby Doo, on Channel 2
And Frankenstein, on Channel 9
And a naked lady, on Channel 80
And you will be, on Channel 3
This is the version of the playground rhyme that I remember from my elementary school. There are obviously a lot of variations.
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First the worst
Second the best
Third the nerd
Fourth the one with the hairy chest
Fifth the bitch
Sixth the snitch
Seventh goes to heaven
Eighth goes naked
I love you
You love me
Can you spell bestiality?
With a b-e-a-s-t-i-a-l-t and y
That will get you three to five.
I hate you
You hate me
Barney is the cause of World War Three
With some shotguns on our backs
And something with infrared
Let’s go blow off Barney’s head!
It happened one day in the studio
Dancing around in a do-si-do
Knocked over a candle and he starts to burn
Uh-oh Barneys on fire
It’s what we’ve always desired
We’ll watch the flames get higher
Just don’t try to put him out!
I hate you
You hate me
Let’s hang Barney in a tree
With a stick up his butt,
And a bullet in his wiener.
I hate you
You hate me
Let’s hang Barney from a tree
I’ll get the matches
You get the gas
Let’s go blow up Barney’s ass!
I hate you
You hate me
We’re gonna kill Barney
With a shotgun blast and we’ll toss him down a well,
Barney’s gonna burn in hell.
Sex is like math.
Subtract the clothes.
Divide the legs.
Add the moaning.
Hope you don’t multiply.
Weed, Weed on a leaf
Weed, Weed on a tree
Weed, Weed in my room
Weed, Weed where’s my shroom
Weed, Weed I forgot
Weed, Weed That apple’s hot
YES!!!!!!!!!!
To whoeth I look upon
Fear not, for I have sacrificed myself
For nobler deeds that time will soon forget
O video, my name is VHS.
Strewn across the passage of time…
Gone.
Gone.
Gone…
(In the trash can.)
I woke up from bed
The news said
Barneys dead! (Finally)
I can’t believe they said
That gay dino who is sick in the head
Is finally dead.
Barneys dead
Barneys dead
We knocked off his frikkin head
With Logan’s baseball bat
On fire now
Barneys hanging from a telephone wire.
I hate you
You hate me
Barneys gonna die and I’m happy,
Beat him hard all day,
And hang him from the head
Let’s all party
BARNEYS DEAD
Parody of Pokemon Theme Song.
Fun Fact: The “Hokemon” are a group of fucked up animals that I made to parody Pokemon. They can be found on SquackleWiki.
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Today is the day, to be blown away
Like no one ever had…
I will get them on my balls, and be their masters till they die…
The Hokemon have to understand, the power that I put inside them…
Hokemon…! Gotta fuck ’em all!!
It’s you and me Hokemon…
I know it’s our destiny!
Hokemon…Oh…you’re my best weapon,
in a battle we must wiiiiiin…
Hokemon…! Gotta fuck ’em all!!
A fart so true — our courage will jerk me off!
You teach me and I’ll give you a gun!
Hokemon!
Gotta Fuck ‘Em All!
Gotta get ‘Em All!
HO-GAY-MONNNNNNNNN!