Category Archives: Stupid IMs

These are the Stupid IMs. They’re stupid, duh. 1 to 1 messaging.

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs, Prank IMs

#6498: davepoobond -> Solidussnake

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In a chat room, Solidussnake was telling people to press alt+F4 on their keyboard.

——————–

davepoobond: hey, when i pressed alt and f4 it didnt do anything cool!

Solidussnake: do it at the same time

Solidussnake: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

davepoobond: nope

davepoobond: nothing happened

davepoobond: i dont know why you’re laughing

davepoobond: its not really that cool

Solidussnake: press the alt button and the f4 button at the same time

davepoobond: ok….the alt…….f4…..

Solidussnake: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

davepoobond: nope nothing happened

Solidussnake: ::cries

davepoobond: does it matter if i’m on a mac or something?

Solidussnake: yes

davepoobond: maybe this only works on a mac

Solidussnake: no

Solidussnake: windows

davepoobond: i have windows

Solidussnake: hmm……..

Solidussnake: it kicks you off

davepoobond: really!

davepoobond: i didnt know that!

davepoobond: ah!

davepoobond: alt f4!

Solidussnake: yep……kicked 30 people offline today…….32

davepoobond: lol

Solidussnake: XD

davepoobond: that’s pretty good there pal

Solidussnake: really?

davepoobond: i was really just messin with ya that whole time

davepoobond: so i guess the jokes on YOU

davepoobond: mwah

davepoobond: mwahahahah

Solidussnake: uh……

davepoobond: hi

Solidussnake: uhhhh…..

davepoobond: anyway. wanna go to my web site?

Solidussnake: ………why???

davepoobond: cuz its a funny web site

davepoobond: u might like it

Solidussnake: …….

davepoobond: so how about it?

davepoobond: you seem to be someone that would enjoy it though, cuz you seem to like to annoy people by making them press alt f4

Solidussnake: 🙂

davepoobond: we’ve got a whole section of stupid IMs and chat rooms

Solidussnake: ………uh………….ok…..

davepoobond: www.squackle.com

Solidussnake: ?

davepoobond: thats the URL

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#6497: davepoobond -> FutureTrunkxx

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davepoobond: Did you sign up for the Squackle Newsletter?

FutureTrunkxx: uh i dont think so

davepoobond: did you even get it?

FutureTrunkxx: i dont think so

davepoobond: hrmm

davepoobond: do you have yer email blocked or somethin

davepoobond: like only people u allow can email

FutureTrunkxx: nope

davepoobond: heh i left out the k

davepoobond: k i’m gonna get it right this time…if you get an email dont respond to it u’ll get unsubscribed

FutureTrunkxx: yeah i got the mail jus now

davepoobond: k

davepoobond: i’ll fwd u todays

FutureTrunkxx: ok

FutureTrunkxx: *kisses u on the lips hard and long sliding muh tounge in ur mouth play with urs with muh own as i firmly grab ur ass pulling ur hips onto muh as i take muh other hand and pulls ur head closer as i put muh other hand in ur pants and stroke ur cock*thanks

davepoobond: oh baby give me some more

FutureTrunkxx: u r BI

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: arent you a girl

FutureTrunkxx: Uh no

davepoobond: =O

FutureTrunkxx: what made u think that

davepoobond: nothin.

davepoobond: i was j/k around

FutureTrunkxx: *kisses him again longer grasping his cock more firmly and pulling his head into the kiss*ok

davepoobond: ok..

FutureTrunkxx: *kisses down his neck and begans to take off his shirt*

davepoobond: ok thats enough of this. ::knees him in the groin then runs away::

FutureTrunkxx: *chases after him*u lil fucker ill kill u for that*says playfully*

davepoobond: AIYEEEEE!! ::jumps up a tree::

FutureTrunkxx: *in mid running transform into a huge white tiger anthro and pounces into the tree and onto him sending falling to the ground on top of him*

davepoobond: what the! get off me ya horny tiger

davepoobond: ::grabs at the ground trying to get away::

FutureTrunkxx: *grasps his cock again and then goes down and sucks onto it hard and fast*

FutureTrunkxx: *holds his arms down so he cant stop him*

davepoobond: … ok this is goin too far

FutureTrunkxx: *uses his tail to tie his legs together*

FutureTrunkxx: *sucks on his cock licking it up and down then taking the full length of it in his mouth*

FutureTrunkxx: do u like this

FutureTrunkxx: *keeps sucking on his cock*

davepoobond: no shut up already. this isnt funny its just disgusting

FutureTrunkxx: *lets him go after he cums into his mouth*

FutureTrunkxx: *wipes his mouth and turns back into a reguralar human*

FutureTrunkxx: Had to much Xtacy i am so horny

davepoobond: y’know that stuff isnt good for you

FutureTrunkxx: yeah

FutureTrunkxx: do u want me to quit

davepoobond: yeah, that’d be good

davepoobond: quit it with the nasty stuff at least. i dont care if you mess up your mind

FutureTrunkxx: illl stop taking X

davepoobond: i mean, seriously, think about it. you turned into a tiger and gave me a bj

FutureTrunkxx: ill just stick to weed

davepoobond: ok good

FutureTrunkxx: yeah but uh i like giving u the bj

FutureTrunkxx: hello dont i get a response

davepoobond: no not while ur high

FutureTrunkxx: i am not high

FutureTrunkxx: well anymore

davepoobond: right

FutureTrunkxx: no for real it wore off

FutureTrunkxx: i am jus bisexual thats all

FutureTrunkxx: not high

davepoobond: ok..

davepoobond: but dont be trying to hit on me or anything k?

FutureTrunkxx: k but why *kisses u on ur lips*

davepoobond: cuz i’m not like that.

FutureTrunkxx: ok

FutureTrunkxx: but one for the road *grabs ur cock*

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#6496: Evil Hell Cow -> davepoobond

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Evil Hell Cow: u |2 2 u/\/-1337 4 /\/\y /\/\347

Evil Hell Cow: =P

davepoobond: i dont know what u said

Evil Hell Cow: you are too un-leet for my meat

davepoobond: k

Evil Hell Cow: =P

davepoobond: heh

Evil Hell Cow: did you know technically heh means yes

davepoobond: …no..

Evil Hell Cow: thats what it’s original meaning was anyway

Evil Hell Cow: yep!

Evil Hell Cow: We did some slang study in school the other day

davepoobond: ebonics or something

Evil Hell Cow: Heh meant yes

davepoobond: well thats pretty dumb

Evil Hell Cow: but true

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6495: davepoobond -> Phoenix

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davepoobond: man i have a headache…….i’m goin back to school tomrrow, that’s why

Phoenix: heh, I’m on thursday

davepoobond: =P

davepoobond: whats it matter, y’got 2 more days, who cares

davepoobond: ::bangs his head on the table::

Phoenix: lol

Phoenix: Where there ::slides a nail on the table when his head should land::

davepoobond: @.@

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#6493: davepoobond -> Holmes

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davepoobond: there was this really stupid fundraiser thing yesterday

davepoobond: i came in when they had 2 minutes to donate stuff

davepoobond: to send some kids to camp

davepoobond: “comon these kids need to get sent to camp” “1 week of their LIVES” (they ended up sending 11, out of who knows how many)

davepoobond: and they raised like 7000 dollars

Holmes: hah

davepoobond: it was messed up

davepoobond: and the 7-11 franchisees corporation and franchisees gave them half a million dollars

Holmes: wow

davepoobond: and all they said “thanks, thanks so much” and then he turned to the camera

davepoobond: and then he said something, i dont know what it was cuz i was laughing too hard

Holmes: 7-11…screwing people 7 hours a day, 11 days of the week

davepoobond: and then this pregnant black jewish woman does some stand-up

Holmes: LMAO

davepoobond: she’s a “convert”

Holmes: pregnant black jewish woman?

davepoobond: LOL ya

Holmes: LDKMKLNSLMAO

davepoobond: she was ok, but she was really dumb

davepoobond: and most of her jokes werent even laughed at

davepoobond: as soon as she comes up, shes like “oh, i give a new meaning to labor day, dont i”

davepoobond: and all she did was talk about her in-laws and her husband

Holmes: it’s like “say what you are” and she says “I’m a pregnant black jewish woman” and the whole audience laughs

Holmes: then she makes jokes and no one laughs

davepoobond: i mean, she’s like 9 months pregnant, she could’ve broke water AS she was doing it

Holmes: yeah

davepoobond: that woulda been great to see

davepoobond: “you know, Jewish people can’t whisper -” SPRAYYYYYYYYYY

Holmes: “MY WATER BROKE”

Audience: “HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA”

Holmes: “I NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION”

AUDIENCE: “HAHAHAHHA SHE’S PREGANT HAHAHAHHA”

davepoobond: do u know what MDA is

davepoobond: lolll

Holmes: mda?

davepoobond: besides a drug

Holmes: nop

davepoobond: yeah that was the foundation

davepoobond: that was hosting it or whatever

davepoobond: i think ed macmahon was there

Holmes: oh

davepoobond: it was such crap

davepoobond: it was like 4 hours long

davepoobond: and they raised 10 million half-way

Holmes: wow

davepoobond: (i bet it was just inflated though)

davepoobond: they just add 9.9 million here and there

davepoobond: to get people to call

davepoobond: cuz “others are”

Holmes: hehe

Holmes: lmao

———————–

Fun fact: Later on, the bookstore davepoobond works at during college did a fundraiser for the same association to send kids to camp. The association is called the Muscular Dystrophy Association 😛

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#6491: gUnsNRoses4321 -> davepoobond

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Note: davepoobond was on a screen name that…wasn’t indicative of any particular name

—————————–

gUnsNRoses4321: try to find wats wrong with this picture Put ur volume up, cuz the sounds r gonna help u figure it out… its tricky

davepoobond: …

davepoobond: whats it supposed to be even

gUnsNRoses4321: something is wrong with the picture, put ur volume like all the way up and try to find it out

davepoobond: uh k

gUnsNRoses4321: do it

davepoobond: i’m goin…

davepoobond: dont pee your pants ok

davepoobond: wtf is with the plugin

davepoobond: i didnt see anything

gUnsNRoses4321: forget it

davepoobond: k..

gUnsNRoses4321: dave

davepoobond: ?

gUnsNRoses4321: how do u spell ur name

davepoobond: mack

davepoobond: your a long way off there pal

davepoobond: you have the a right

davepoobond: well anyway, gotta go bye

davepoobond: o wait, did you see guns n roses return

gUnsNRoses4321: me 2

gUnsNRoses4321: yea, they sucked

gUnsNRoses4321: or at least axl did

davepoobond: haha

davepoobond: they sounded alright, just axl is kinda weird

gUnsNRoses4321: wait ur the freshmen right

davepoobond: ….uh no…

davepoobond: i’m 21 dude

gUnsNRoses4321: oh how did u get this sn

davepoobond: my sn or ur sn

gUnsNRoses4321: my

davepoobond: …wait

davepoobond: my meaning mine or my meaning yours

gUnsNRoses4321: mine

davepoobond: so its me?

gUnsNRoses4321: gUnsNRoses4321

davepoobond: oh. someone told me it

davepoobond: someone was goin through chat rooms saying “IM gUnsNRoses4321”

davepoobond: i dont recall who it was

davepoobond: anyway, gtg bye

davepoobond: :-!

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#8: BAA -> OddiZ

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BAA: hello how ar eu tonight im from york area can i ask ur a/l/s

OddiZ: 16/f/pa

BAA: hows ur night

OddiZ: boring

OddiZ: how about u?

BAA: same alittle in asexy mood is that ok

OddiZ: yeah

OddiZ: are u

OddiZ: not really, I am just tired, that’s all

OddiZ: want to suck my dick?

OddiZ: I’m waiting

OddiZ: fine then, donkey dick

OddiZ: i will go n play with mr slave

BAA: what

OddiZ: ta ta

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#7: AWSSkater -> SheMaleHo

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AWSSkater: i need a new one

SheMaleHo: your “Moo Moo’s” a fag!!!

SheMaleHo: i killed it and nailed it to a crucifix!!!

AWSSkater: FAGGOT

AWSSkater: are you talking to cait?

SheMaleHo: then i barbequed it

SheMaleHo: no

SheMaleHo: im watching you

AWSSkater: ask her why it keeps saying i cant talk to her

SheMaleHo: whA?

SheMaleHo: i can see you out my window…

AWSSkater: cool

AWSSkater: what am i doing

SheMaleHo: i nailed “Moo Moo’s” head on the hood of my car

AWSSkater: what room am i in

SheMaleHo: theone with the computer

SheMaleHo: am i right?

AWSSkater: yes

AWSSkater: and what room is that

SheMaleHo: the one with the keyboard in it

SheMaleHo: it also has a door

SheMaleHo: am i right?

AWSSkater: caits name doesnt work anymore

SheMaleHo: your house is brown

AWSSkater: yes

AWSSkater: you cheated

SheMaleHo: and its on a corner

AWSSkater: you cheated again

SheMaleHo: your upstairs

SheMaleHo: your typing from your bed

AWSSkater: yes

AWSSkater: you’re still cheating

SheMaleHo: you have long black hair

SheMaleHo: ooooh you look so nice

AWSSkater: anything else you’d like to add

AWSSkater: when is my birthday?

SheMaleHo: im gonna feel you….

SheMaleHo: i dont know, i can just see you

AWSSkater: what color is my shirt

SheMaleHo: you know what color it is

AWSSkater: yes, but do you

SheMaleHo: of course! i can see you silly

SheMaleHo: oooh im taking off my pants to look at you

AWSSkater: you’re gay

SheMaleHo: you got it! :-*

AWSSkater: wow

AWSSkater: im right

SheMaleHo: i wish you had no shirt

SheMaleHo: 😛

AWSSkater: but i do

AWSSkater: ask cait why i cant talk to her, i know you can

SheMaleHo: i know

SheMaleHo: i can?

AWSSkater: unless this is her in disguise

AWSSkater: she tricked me like that before, you know

AWSSkater: well she didnt trick me

SheMaleHo: this isnt a trick

AWSSkater: i knew it was her

SheMaleHo: take off your shirt

SheMaleHo: oh c’mon

AWSSkater: um…

AWSSkater: no?

SheMaleHo: my pants are already off, dont waste my time

AWSSkater: im back, ugly

SheMaleHo: i like it when you talk dirty

AWSSkater: oh

AWSSkater: okay

SheMaleHo: say it again

AWSSkater: okay

SheMaleHo: Cryin’ Ryan

AWSSkater: shutup

AWSSkater: Trunks Briefs

SheMaleHo: Cryyyyyyyin’ Ryyyyyyyyan

AWSSkater: ho

SheMaleHo: oooh, Briefs, you wear briefs?

AWSSkater: no actually i wear boxers

AWSSkater: either you keep asking cait stuff or you are her in disguise,
which is it

SheMaleHo: disquise?

SheMaleHo: ooooh kinky, role playing

AWSSkater: what?

SheMaleHo: ok, ill me the bad dog and you be my master, discipline me

AWSSkater: um…

AWSSkater: go in the corner while i piss on your head

SheMaleHo: soooo kinky

AWSSkater: you’re weird

SheMaleHo: lemme get the whip and handcuffs

AWSSkater: that would be okay if you were female, but you arent

AWSSkater: as far as i know

SheMaleHo: y’know, i have a dog, i can bring him over with some whipped cream and peanut butter

AWSSkater: that’s okay

SheMaleHo: we can be a sandwich!

AWSSkater: no

SheMaleHo: well…still want my thong?

AWSSkater: what?

AWSSkater: you scare me

SheMaleHo: im going to throw my purple thong at your window, catch it

AWSSkater: k

SheMaleHo: wait, ill keep them

SheMaleHo: theyre edible

AWSSkater: k

SheMaleHo: and im hungry

AWSSkater: lol

AWSSkater: how many dogs do i have>

AWSSkater: ?

SheMaleHo: oh, Caaiiiiite

AWSSkater: shutup

SheMaleHo: OMG!!! shes flashing me again!

AWSSkater: shutup

SheMaleHo: theres a sign

SheMaleHo: it says….I…..want….you….Ch…whats that?

SheMaleHo: her boob is blocking it

AWSSkater: what?

SheMaleHo: Ch….r….i…damn nipple

SheMaleHo: Chris!

SheMaleHo: me!

AWSSkater: shutup

SheMaleHo: whats the matter Cryin’ Ryan

SheMaleHo: jealous?

AWSSkater: nothing of that sort is happening so it doesnt matter

SheMaleHo: it is

AWSSkater: riiiiigggghhhht, and my name is blowjob

SheMaleHo: oooooooooh sexy

AWSSkater: hey

AWSSkater: no

SheMaleHo: come over to my place, my nickname is…snoow blow

AWSSkater: LOL

AWSSkater: how many cats do i have

SheMaleHo: lemme count

SheMaleHo: hmmmm

SheMaleHo: hmmm

SheMaleHo: not counting the one i nailed to a crucufix…1…

SheMaleHo: Moo moo and Mickey

SheMaleHo: or Kittie

SheMaleHo: whatever

AWSSkater: what color is mickey

SheMaleHo: ummm…

AWSSkater: lol

SheMaleHo: Dark brown…and black striped

SheMaleHo: Ewwww, whats that scab on his head?

AWSSkater: scap is a funny word

SheMaleHo: so is homo…oh wait

AWSSkater: here is a tough question

AWSSkater: where is my birthmark

SheMaleHo: take off all your clothes first

SheMaleHo: i think i see it on your…wait…im to distracted by Caites boob

SheMaleHo: wait…its on…your arm i think

SheMaleHo: am i right?

AWSSkater: yeah

AWSSkater: where

SheMaleHo: Caite…

AWSSkater: what

SheMaleHo: nipple

SheMaleHo: nipple

AWSSkater: boobie

SheMaleHo: nipple

AWSSkater: boobie

SheMaleHo: y’know…im actually…your uncle

SheMaleHo: your long lost uncle

SheMaleHo: and im attracted to you….im a hillbilly

AWSSkater: ::says in a hillbilly accent:: get on yer knees and take down them suspender boy!!

SheMaleHo: Ok sailor!!!

AWSSkater: lol

AWSSkater: or are you a female

AWSSkater: im not sure

SheMaleHo: well lets see….im your uncle!! so could i be male…or female

AWSSkater: lol

AWSSkater: im messing around

SheMaleHo: want some weed from your ol’ uncle?

SheMaleHo: its the herb of the earth

AWSSkater: i hate drugs

SheMaleHo: the herb will set your mind free!, man!!!

AWSSkater: so will spinning around in circles

SheMaleHo: so is doing anal…

AWSSkater: weird

SheMaleHo: you..think anal is weird?

SheMaleHo: obviously youve never tried it

SheMaleHo: come over to my house

SheMaleHo: its the pink frilly one on fudgepacker avenue

AWSSkater: i dont pack fudge

AWSSkater: im not a poopie dick

AWSSkater: by the way, how do you see my room with the curtain closed

SheMaleHo: im your uncle…Clark Kent, i have X-ray Vision

AWSSkater: clark kent doesnt have X-ray vision

SheMaleHo: who would know better? Clark Kent or you Cryin’ Ryan?

AWSSkater: who would know what better

SheMaleHo: who would know better if i had X-ray vision?

SheMaleHo: to tell you a secret, Im superman

SheMaleHo: doesnt it all make sense?

AWSSkater: yeah, but clark kent doesnt have x-ray vision only superman

SheMaleHo: i live in the country, so im a hilbilly, i wear redish tights
so i must have a purple thong SOMEWHERE, and i can see through your curtains

AWSSkater: so that makes you very weird

SheMaleHo: im a hillbilly and i have a shotgun

AWSSkater: what color is the bracelet im wearing

SheMaleHo: hmmmm

SheMaleHo: X-ray visios is kinda color blind but lemme try

AWSSkater: okay

SheMaleHo: its kinda silver…

SheMaleHo: with a purplish tint

SheMaleHo: am i right?

AWSSkater: yes

AWSSkater: actaully pink

AWSSkater: what color are my eyes

SheMaleHo: hmmmm

SheMaleHo: purple…right?

AWSSkater: no

SheMaleHo: oh wait, i was staring at Caites nipple again, sorry

SheMaleHo: brown

AWSSkater: lol

AWSSkater: what color is my real hair

SheMaleHo: hmmmm

SheMaleHo: medium brown

SheMaleHo: just like your pubes…i mean!! your…

AWSSkater: lol

AWSSkater: now you wont know stuff, cait signed off

SheMaleHo: she was online?

AWSSkater: maybe

SheMaleHo: puuuubes

SheMaleHo: nipple

SheMaleHo: Cryin’ Ryan

AWSSkater: that was an old nickname, you dont have to call me that anymore

SheMaleHo: im related to the king of Bahrain

AWSSkater: hey

AWSSkater: i know him

AWSSkater: the poo guy

SheMaleHo: Clark Kents, the hillbilly, purple thong wearing, attracted to his nephew cryin Ryan, prince of Bahrain

AWSSkater: hehe

AWSSkater: so you know the poo guy too

AWSSkater: thats probably you

SheMaleHo: oh yes

SheMaleHo: hes a VERY good freind

AWSSkater: the guy i beat with a wifflle ball bat

SheMaleHo: why did you do that?

SheMaleHo: hes the king of Bahrain!

SheMaleHo: you cant do that to him!!!

AWSSkater: but i did

SheMaleHo: this is an outrage! you must come to my house for your….punishment :Þ

AWSSkater: where do you live then

SheMaleHo: Bahrain but a ihave a house…near you

AWSSkater: where is that

SheMaleHo: its right next to Saudi Arabia, its too small to be on the map anyway

AWSSkater: that’s pretty far away

SheMaleHo: 600 people live there

AWSSkater: lol

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6: angelina -> Mugen Guy

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angelina: Hi, would you like to chat?

Mugen Guy: ok

Mugen Guy: indeed

angelina: I’m 20/F/CA 🙂

Mugen Guy: im19/m/cali

angelina: might have to run, do you want to see my pics?

Mugen Guy: are you in track?

angelina: alright no problem have a good one, check out my profile if you want!

Mugen Guy: good one what

angelina: bye

Mugen Guy: i want to see your pics not your profile you dumb broad

Mugen Guy: fine then bleotch later