Category Archives: Stupid IMs

These are the Stupid IMs. They’re stupid, duh. 1 to 1 messaging.

#10535: davepoobond -> lozerkid

davepoobond: hey loser

lozerkid: whos this?

davepoobond: Joe mama

lozerkid: for real!?!?!

lozerkid: who is this…

davepoobond: i told you

davepoobond: do you need me to type it again

lozerkid: who?

lozerkid: no…just tell the truth…

davepoobond: dave

davepoobond: fine

lozerkid: do you know me?

davepoobond: no

lozerkid: so how did you get my sn?

davepoobond: but i know your a loser

lozerkid: its from blink 182

davepoobond: i searched for “loser” in buddy find and you came up

lozerkid: haha…..thats great…..have you ever heard of “blink182 loserkids?”

lozerkid: wots your asl?

lozerkid: ?????

davepoobond: 17/m/ca

davepoobond: u

lozerkid: 16/f/va

davepoobond: ba?

lozerkid: virgina

davepoobond: oh

davepoobond: your font is really weird

lozerkid: yeah

lozerkid: sorry….

lozerkid: do you want me to change it fer ya?

davepoobond: its ok

lozerkid: ok….

lozerkid: so what kind of music do you like?

davepoobond: mostly rock

lozerkid: cool

lozerkid: do you play any sports?

davepoobond: no

lozerkid: o

davepoobond: do you?

lozerkid: yeah

lozerkid: soccer….

lozerkid: so wots up with you sn?

lozerkid: i gtg

davepoobond: not much, its what i’m known as on my sie

davepoobond: site

davepoobond: k bye

davepoobond: www.squackle.com

davepoobond: that’s it

lozerkid: haha

lozerkid: later

davepoobond: k bye

#10533: davepoobond -> Bandaid Brand24

davepoobond IMd Bandaid Brand24 something that was in a SUM41 song, and like 4 minutes later…

Bandaid Brand24: bicth

davepoobond: what?

Bandaid Brand24: who r u?

davepoobond: who are YOU?

davepoobond: you just IM me outta the blue

Bandaid Brand24: why did you Im me?

davepoobond: i didnt IM you

davepoobond: what did i say

Bandaid Brand24: you IMed me out of the blue

davepoobond: yeah right

davepoobond: i dont believe you

Bandaid Brand24: i dont know i delted it.. but it was something stupid

Bandaid Brand24: omg.. your so fucking stupid

davepoobond: sure sure

Bandaid Brand24: what grwade r u in?

davepoobond: what grade are YOU in

davepoobond: you cant even SPELL grade

Bandaid Brand24: 9

davepoobond: aha stupid freshmen

Bandaid Brand24: its cuz i type fast

davepoobond: ooooooh so fast

davepoobond: go for accuracy

Bandaid Brand24: what grade are you in?

davepoobond: people can race fast and drive into walls

davepoobond: 11

davepoobond: big shot

Bandaid Brand24: so.. you want me to take offense to the fact that ur aolder than me?

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: i never said that

Bandaid Brand24: just becuz your in 11 grade and im in 9th?

davepoobond: when did i say that

Bandaid Brand24: im a stipid freshmen?

davepoobond: cause you are

Bandaid Brand24: davepoobond (10:29:58 PM): aha stupid freshmen

Bandaid Brand24: how do you know?

davepoobond: urrmm…

Bandaid Brand24: do you know who i am?

davepoobond: how do i know what

davepoobond: sure i guess

Bandaid Brand24: im a stuopid freshmen?

davepoobond: i can learn enough just because of what you’re saying write now

davepoobond: you cant even SPELL stupid

Bandaid Brand24: you dont know a damn thing about me

davepoobond: yabb yabb yabb

Bandaid Brand24: i cant spell?

Bandaid Brand24: check this…davepoobond (10:31:43 PM): i can learn enough just because of what you’re saying write now

Bandaid Brand24: look how you spelled right

Bandaid Brand24: dumbass

davepoobond: i wasn’t trying to spell “right”

davepoobond: i was trying to spell “write”

Bandaid Brand24: i dont care…your stupid

davepoobond: you’re stupid

davepoobond: with an e

davepoobond: your stupid is possessive

davepoobond: i have no stupid

davepoobond: where is my stupid?

davepoobond: y’like sum 41

Bandaid Brand24: so.. basically…i am a stupid freshemn becuz i am younger than you(which i have no control over) and you dont know a damnt hign about me???.. that what YOU’RE saying?

davepoobond: you and me baby aint nothin but mammals, so lets do it like they do on the discovery channel

Bandaid Brand24: YOU’RE sucha a fucking queer

Bandaid Brand24: such a *

davepoobond: you dont even know that song

Bandaid Brand24: thats right.. i have no idea what song that is

davepoobond: i was listening to that song when you were in…1…2…3….6th grade!

davepoobond: so was everyone else

davepoobond: get it

davepoobond: its good

davepoobond: Bloodhound Gang – Bad Touch

Bandaid Brand24: ok?

Bandaid Brand24: congratulations

davepoobond: glad you agree

davepoobond: no one likes it anymore

davepoobond: thats why its a good song

Bandaid Brand24: YOU’RE fucking gay.. don’t talk to me..i have better things to do with my time

davepoobond: no you dont

davepoobond: like what

davepoobond: tell me one thing

Bandaid Brand24: anything that doesnt involve talking to you

davepoobond: ok, how about this

davepoobond: going to www.squackle.com

Bandaid Brand24: something that doesn’t involve talking to you..is a better use of my time

Bandaid Brand24: or.. how about no?

davepoobond: aw comon

davepoobond: its worth it

Bandaid Brand24: no its not

Bandaid Brand24: shtu the fuck up

Bandaid Brand24: what school you go to?

davepoobond: what would that matter

davepoobond: what state do you live in

Bandaid Brand24: you go to Greenwood?

davepoobond: no

Bandaid Brand24: Indiana

davepoobond: i live in california, buddy

Bandaid Brand24: how the hell was i suppoed to know

davepoobond: you werent

Bandaid Brand24: so dont call me buddy

davepoobond: i’m sorry

davepoobond: but you ARE on my buddy list

davepoobond: so that makes you a buddy

davepoobond: doesn’t it?

Bandaid Brand24: not if i dontk now you, and dont want to

davepoobond: comon you don’t even know me

davepoobond: didn’t you say that yourself

Bandaid Brand24: and i intend to kepp it that way

davepoobond: “you dont know me blah blah blah whie whine whine whine”

davepoobond: oooh snappy comeback

Bandaid Brand24: i did say it.. and i dont want to know anything about you

davepoobond: i like movies

davepoobond: and slumber parties

Bandaid Brand24: i will admit.. that was pretty damn snappy

Bandaid Brand24: and tell me why i give a shit?

davepoobond: cause i saw the michael jackson interview thing yesterday

davepoobond: the whole 2 hours

davepoobond: did you see that?

davepoobond: or is he too old for you

Bandaid Brand24: congrats

Bandaid Brand24: once again.. starting off with the young jokes… you realize that has no affect on me becuz i cant control how old i am

davepoobond: no, that’s kind of in the general aspect

davepoobond: cause michael jackson might be too old for some people to care about him at all

davepoobond: regardless of age

davepoobond: oh look at that, i used regardless

Bandaid Brand24: please note the sarcasm when i say…

davepoobond: aren’t you suprised

Bandaid Brand24: o yeh.. i dont know who he is

davepoobond: hi

Previous message was not received by bAnDaId BrAnD24 because of error (7:41:14 PM): User bAnDaId BrAnD24 is not available.

#10532: davepoobond -> Dick L590

davepoobond: jeremy? is this you?

Dick L590: Who R YOU???

davepoobond: what are YOU talking about

Dick L590: How did you get on my computer???

davepoobond: ….

davepoobond: look at me i’m dancing on your computer

davepoobond: whooooooo

Dick L590: :-* This is my picture

davepoobond: ok

davepoobond: but i didnt want to see it

#10531: davepoobond -> FireChiefGram

davepoobond: chief, where have you been? our reservation lands have been taken over by the white folk!

FireChiefGram: who is this

davepoobond: I’m the witch doctor

davepoobond: of our tribe

davepoobond: don’t you remember?

davepoobond: i’m communication to you through telekensis

davepoobond: it just happens to come out on AOL instant messenger

FireChiefGram: wrong chief i am a fire fighter chief

davepoobond: darn

FireChiefGram: take the name firechiefgram

I get warned to 35%.

davepoobond: ok, why are you warning me?

I warn him back to 10%.

Goddamn fire chiefs.

#10529: davepoobond -> ADICT

davepoobond: fly away on my zephyr, we’re gonna live
foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

ADICT: lol are you for real

davepoobond: why of course i am

ADICT: well ok then

ADICT: who might you be?

davepoobond: dave

davepoobond: and you

ADICT: oh my fairy god mother

ADICT: lol

ADICT: JIll

davepoobond: yeah i’m your fairy godmother, that’s why i have a big wang and a sack

ADICT: ok ok

ADICT: where ya from dave?

davepoobond: hell

ADICT: oh yeah me too

ADICT: lol

ADICT: O:-)

davepoobond: 😀

ADICT: are we done now?

davepoobond: depends

davepoobond: are you gonna buy me a stairway to heaven?

ADICT: lol

ADICT: are you led?

ADICT: aep?

ADICT: zep?

davepoobond: not really. i dont like it that much in hell

davepoobond: i wanna see how it is in heaven for a change

ADICT: well that makes 2 of us

ADICT: let me guess

ADICT: your about 23

davepoobond: mmhmm…go on…i like where this is going

ADICT: how old tiger

davepoobond: i’m not an old tiger..

ADICT: i didn’t say old tiger

davepoobond: yeah you did

ADICT: i said how old tiger?

davepoobond: “old tiger”

ADICT: scroll up

davepoobond: dont need to

davepoobond: its in the same window

davepoobond: until

davepoobond: right about

davepoobond: almost there

davepoobond: almosssttt

davepoobond: ok now its off

ADICT: lol

davepoobond: video killed the radio star

davepoobond: did you know that

ADICT: yeah

#10525: davepoobond -> Edmonem

davepoobond: hey

Edmonem: who diz

davepoobond: you dont remember me

davepoobond: again

davepoobond: you forgot me 4 times already

davepoobond: don’t you remember forgetting me?

Edmonem: hmm .. no

davepoobond: urgghhh!!!

Edmonem: well .. i hit my head 5 times on some sharp stuff a few months ago

davepoobond: oh…

davepoobond: k

Edmonem: and i dint even noe

Edmonem: until my friend told me

Edmonem: xP

Edmonem: haha

Edmonem: yeh

davepoobond: ah ha yeah

davepoobond: that’s always a pain

davepoobond: when you knock your head against sharp objects

davepoobond: and not even know you are

davepoobond: until someone tells you

Edmonem: haha

Edmonem: yehh

Edmonem: i fainted 5 times

Edmonem: at the mall

Edmonem: -_-*

Edmonem: everyojne was looking

Edmonem: and i had no idea wuh was goin on

davepoobond: prices too high at the 99 cent store?

Edmonem: ?/

davepoobond: is that the reason you fainted

davepoobond: cause the prices are too high

Edmonem: i dont get it

Edmonem: haha

davepoobond: never mind

Edmonem: sorry im kinda retarded in the head

davepoobond: you didnt used to

davepoobond: =(

Edmonem: wanna see mah pics ?

Edmonem: i got new ones

Edmonem: =)

davepoobond: ok sure

Edmonem: umm

Edmonem: go to

Edmonem: www.essenceX.com

Edmonem: n then

Edmonem: my user name thing

Edmonem: is

Edmonem: mizzetard

davepoobond: nice pictures

Edmonem: ty

davepoobond: so how’s the kids

davepoobond: whoa! they made Jungle Book 2!

davepoobond: isn’t that amazing

davepoobond: now we can find out what happens to mogley

davepoobond: even though we don’t care

davepoobond: ISNT THAT SPECTACULAR

Edmonem: lol

Edmonem: i guess ?

davepoobond: did you see that commercial with that naked guy running around on the soccer field

Edmonem: yes

davepoobond: it was funny the first time, but the other 1293 times i’ve seen it, it gets kinda long

Edmonem: haha’

Edmonem: icic

#10523: Phoenix -> davepoobond

Phoenix: Dude!!! I seriously need help!

davepoobond: wut

Phoenix: I have a question I cannot for the life of me figure out

davepoobond: what is it

Phoenix: Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

davepoobond: just in case they lived

Phoenix: And why do drive thru ATMs have brail keypads?

davepoobond: because its a law that all ATMs have them

Phoenix: BS

davepoobond: it is

davepoobond: why do you think elevators have brail code under the buttons

Phoenix: dude… it’s a drive thru ATM……

Phoenix: How the hell are blind people suppose to drive up?

davepoobond: they dont

davepoobond: someone else drives

davepoobond: and they pull up to the back window

davepoobond: there you go

Phoenix: ….. but the questions on the screen… .how do you read them?

davepoobond: someone has to drive you dont they

Phoenix: But if their staring at the screen why wouldn’t they just type it in for you?

davepoobond: because they’re not supposed to know your PIN number

Phoenix: ….but they can watch you type it in

davepoobond: that’s a risk you’ll have to take

Phoenix: I wonder about you….

Phoenix: now go put this convo on squakle, it amuses me

davepoobond: hehe

davepoobond: well, you can wait a couple years though

davepoobond: i’ve got about 200+ others to put up

Phoenix: Lol

It actually took like 4 years to get up.

#10521: stimpyismyname -> Holmes

stimpyismyname: could you do me a favor and find the sfx that plays when doug funni gets some from patty?

stimpyismyname: dudadudaleee waaaahhhhoooooweeeeeeeoooh

stimpyismyname: pleeeease

Holmes: what?

stimpyismyname: didnt you ever watch doug

stimpyismyname: on nickelodean

Holmes: yeah

stimpyismyname: you know when patty talks to doug that music plays

stimpyismyname: baaaooohwwahhhhoohh

stimpyismyname: ..do you know what im talking about?

Holmes: somehwta

Holmes: but thats gonna be a bitch to find

stimpyismyname: well you dont have to..

Holmes: can’t find it anywhere

stimpyismyname: o well

Holmes: what should i look for?

Holmes: doug funnie download music?

stimpyismyname: i dont know

stimpyismyname: i guess its not that important

stimpyismyname: heh

stimpyismyname: dougandpatty.wav

stimpyismyname: search for that

Holmes: why don’t you just watch doug and get a microphone out, then when he;s about to meet patty, turn your micrphone on and record it?

stimpyismyname: never!

Holmes: uh ok

Holmes: then tell dave to do it

stimpyismyname copied and pasted the whole IM to davepoobond while he was away, basically telling him to look for it.

#10520: blowthetoad -> davepoobond

This entry is part 6 of 8 in the series blowthetoad Wants to Be a Poop Troop

blowthetoad IMs davepoobond with the same screen name he’s been using the last few times.

blowthetoad: hi, i got a new screen name, can i try again?

davepoobond: thats the same one, idiot

blowthetoad: oh… i am sorry

blowthetoad: hold on

blowthetoad: i’ll be back

blowthetoad signed off at 7:57:15 PM.