These are the Stupid IMs. They’re stupid, duh. 1 to 1 messaging.
MyLeftTesticle: Double click my balls for sexual gratification, bitch!
davepoobond: heh
MyLeftTesticle: Double CLICK my anus for sexual gratification, bitch!
MyLeftTesticle: DOUBLE CLICK MY NIPPLES FOR SEXUAL GRATIFICATOIN, BITCH!!!
MyLeftTesticle: Okay, I’m done.
stimpyismyname: h
Auto response from davepoobond: i’m away, so that means i’m not here, which also means i might be here but i dont really want to talk to you which also brings up the fact that i am actually here and that means that i not actually away which means that i’m here, but not away, but i have my away message on which means i am away….
stimpyismyname: haaha… oh boy
stimpyismyname: that a GOOD one…
stimpyismyname: dave
stimpyismyname: hey dave
stimpyismyname: hey
stimpyismyname: you there
stimpyismyname: heeeeellllooooo
stimpyismyname: dave
stimpyismyname: hey
stimpyismyname: hey dave
–
An hour later…
–
stimpyismyname: hey dave are you back now
stimpyismyname: dave’
–
Another hour later…
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davepoobond: god people on starcraft are so gay
stimpyismyname: you were playin that
stimpyismyname: hah
davepoobond: yeah well
davepoobond: u wanna do somthin tomorrow
stimpyismyname: yeah
stimpyismyname: oook
stimpyismyname: like videot games
davepoobond: i dont know whatever
stimpyismyname: haha
davepoobond: or work on web sites
davepoobond: that’d be more productive wouldn’t it
stimpyismyname: ooooh
stimpyismyname: or we could study
davepoobond: i’m gonna be here all alone, so i have to take advantage of it
davepoobond: so i can stay on the whole time
davepoobond: yeah yeah
stimpyismyname: i could tutor your spanish
davepoobond: that’s a good idea
davepoobond: for free right
stimpyismyname: uhhhh…yeah…
davepoobond: we can spend our vacation away from school doing stuff FOR school
davepoobond: BRILLIANT
stimpyismyname: ill sell you spanish book. real cheap. you get no better deal
davepoobond: or maybe if you give it to me for free
davepoobond: and you wont have to pay for vagrant story or the pizza
stimpyismyname: oh yesah, i didnt pay you
davepoobond: dude thats hilarious what you did today
Edmonem: wat
davepoobond: how you just ditched the final
Edmonem: haha wtf howd u no?
davepoobond: didn’t you ask him to go to the bathroom
Edmonem: oh yea ur in ma class
Edmonem: hahahahaha
Edmonem: yea
Edmonem: wat did he do?
Edmonem: was he pissed
davepoobond: he asked the xerox lady to get another test
davepoobond: for you
davepoobond: and he said that he would send you back down to get it when you come back from the bathroom
davepoobond: after an hour, they sent someone up to give it to him
Edmonem: hmm…
davepoobond: and he said “the person that was supposed to take the test never came back from the bathroom”
Edmonem: thats it?
davepoobond: yeah, pretty much
Edmonem: heh
davepoobond: but i think he’ll notice your test missing
Edmonem: huh?
davepoobond: y’know, cause you didnt take it
davepoobond: it wont be there
davepoobond: and when he’s recording grades
davepoobond: you’ll get a 0
Edmonem: ohh
Edmonem: watevers..even if i aced da final i wouldnt of gotten a B..tahs y i didtched
davepoobond: what were you gettin b4 the final
Edmonem: 28%
Edmonem: haha
davepoobond: lol
Edmonem: oh well
Edmonem: ay g2g..late
davepoobond: ok bye
Later in the day, after #10513.
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blowthetoad: can i try again?
davepoobond: no go away
blowthetoad: dammit fuck shit >:o
blowthetoad: is this dave?
blowthetoad: rumor has it his mom took away his mouse ball
davepoobond: no it isnt
blowthetoad: who is it
davepoobond: stop talkin to me i dont care about you
davepoobond: blowthetoad
blowthetoad: no this is stimpy or elmo
davepoobond: no its 9876543210
blowthetoad: ooooooooh
blowthetoad: now it’s all coming in clear
blowthetoad: sorry to disturb you
blowthetoad: what is dave’s AOL email
davepoobond: notachance@aol.com
blowthetoad: awesome
blowthetoad: tee hee heeeeee
blowthetoad: who updates squackle
davepoobond: yourmom@aol.com
blowthetoad: blowthetoad is just a fucking muffin
blowthetoad: i dont like him
davepoobond: that’s sweet
blowthetoad: no, it’s snour
blowthetoad: not sour
blowthetoad: snour
blowthetoad: who is the sexiest person alive?
blowthetoad: Nose
blowthetoad: who ihas the biggest penis?
blowthetoad: Stimpy
blowthetoad: who is the redest yellow-bellied anus?
blowthetoad: Elmo
davepoobond: your not making me laugh
blowthetoad: im not trying to
blowthetoad: im just…
blowthetoad: some canadian chef
davepoobond: stop being a dipshit, and maybe i’ll let you be a loser trooper
davepoobond: since you seem to have such a fetish about being a soldier
blowthetoad: i am a soldier… named preston,so it blows away the purpose
davepoobond: might as well be in the ranks of your own kind
davepoobond: i’ll let you be a loser trooper named blowyourmom
blowthetoad: yay
blowthetoad was on a screen name he wasn’t usually on.
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blowthetoad: i want to be a poop troop
davepoobond: who says there’s spaces open
blowthetoad: =-O
blowthetoad: kick out an un-active member
davepoobond: but your moms doing just fine
blowthetoad: exactly
blowthetoad: thats why i want your dad
blowthetoad: wait… no
davepoobond: good comeback, not
blowthetoad: dammit
blowthetoad: i would like to join the poop troops
blowthetoad: as “The Great Panda”
davepoobond: who says there’s spaces open
davepoobond: you really think that’s funny
blowthetoad: tell me funny
davepoobond: oh look at me i’m a great panda
blowthetoad: you have six seconds
blowthetoad: i never said i was a great panda
davepoobond: until what
davepoobond: you blow your load
blowthetoad: yes
blowthetoad: how is davepoobond funny?
davepoobond: cause your mom is
blowthetoad: or stimpy or elmo
blowthetoad: that makes me want to rip the eyes out of a baby seal with a rusty mellon scooper
davepoobond: har har
blowthetoad: you dumb canadian
davepoobond: the only way i’ll let you in is if you die and don’t IM me ever again
blowthetoad: ya!
davepoobond: sorry you IMd me again
davepoobond: you’ll never be a poop troop
davepoobond: sorry
davepoobond: you blew it
blowthetoad: damn
blowthetoad: bye
davepoobond: get a new sn and try again
blowthetoad: lol
blowthetoad: bye
chuke changed his name on MSN to something really long.
–
think of me what you will but ive got a little space to fill: youfrom kville?
davepoobond: no..
think of me what you will but ive got a little space to fill: fag
think of me what you will but ive got a little space to fill: juist kidding
davepoobond: that was funny
think of me what you will but ive got a little space to fill: wasnt it tho?
think of me what you will but ive got a little space to fill: i aobut pooped my slef
think of me what you will but ive got a little space to fill: popschol
think of me what you will but ive got a little space to fill: poopschool
davepoobond: AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA FUNNY
davepoobond: not
davepoobond: just kidding
davepoobond: just kidding
think of me what you will but ive got a little space to fill: dave
davepoobond: see i was just kidding about the just kidding about the not funny thing
think of me what you will but ive got a little space to fill: my good man
think of me what you will but ive got a little space to fill: shit up
davepoobond: ok. who the hell are you
think of me what you will but ive got a little space to fill: chuke
davepoobond: and what do you want
stimpyismyname: blah
stimpyismyname: stupid sewers
stimpyismyname: hey
davepoobond: hi
stimpyismyname: hi
stimpyismyname: abcddddddddddddndndnddd
Auto response from davepoobond: i’m at my bass lesson
davepoobond: thats good
stimpyismyname: suck my dick
stimpyismyname: I got a fatty for you right here
davepoobond: …ook
stimpyismyname: in my trousers
stimpyismyname: thats Nose…
davepoobond: no shit
stimpyismyname: not
stimpyismyname: it’s actually my dick typing
davepoobond: wow you have the most talented shlong in the world
davepoobond: must be great to be on the receiving end
stimpyismyname: I have to squat to compensate for the shortness butn it does its job
stimpyismyname: andy helps a little too
stimpyismyname: ok thasts enough
davepoobond: aww
davepoobond: hey who’s this
chuke: a crackler
davepoobond: oh yeah of course, i knew that
davepoobond: I’D DO ANYTHINNGG
davepoobond: JUST TO HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS
davepoobond: I’D DO ANYTHING
davepoobond: BUT SOMEHOW I JUST CANT PUT YOU IN THE PAST
davepoobond: I’D DO ANYTHING
davepoobond: JUST TO FALL ASLEEP WITH YOU
Holmes: um
davepoobond: OUUUU
davepoobond: dun nununu nu nununu!
davepoobond was messing around with the “Share AOL Music” bullshit feature, that listed the name of a song for your buddy to watch the music video for.
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stimpyismyname: wanna upload a 507 mb movie to squackle
stimpyismyname: its a 3 min math project
davepoobond: ok, sure i’ll spend a week of my life uploading it
stimpyismyname: ok, sounds good
davepoobond: Picture
davepoobond: oh joy, kid rock and sheryl crow
stimpyismyname: whay a fagget
davepoobond: lol
davepoobond: Listen to Kid and his pal Sheryl Crow put some twang into their new video for the song ‘Picture.’
stimpyismyname: i dont want to watch this
davepoobond: dont
davepoobond: I’d Do Anything
davepoobond: I’D DO ANYTTHINNNGGGG
stimpyismyname: no
davepoobond: JUST TO HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS
davepoobond: BUT I’LL MAKE YOU LAUGH
davepoobond: SOMEHOW I CANT PUT YOU IN THE PAST
davepoobond: I’D DO ANYTTHINNGG
davepoobond: JUST TO FALL ASLEEP WITH YOU
davepoobond: OOOUUU
stimpyismyname: shut the fuck up
stimpyismyname: cockknocker
davepoobond: lol
stimpyismyname: cunt rag
stimpyismyname: let me know when one strikes your fancy
stimpyismyname: cunt cunt
stimpyismyname: dousch rocket
stimpyismyname: queerboat
davepoobond: i think cunt rag did it for me
stimpyismyname: good to know
stimpyismyname: noodles
stimpyismyname: snoogins
stimpyismyname: yeah… that was Nose and elmoisfurry
stimpyismyname: g2g
davepoobond: ok
alexnorbts: sup poo bond
davepoobond: hi
davepoobond: whos this again
alexnorbts: u goin to lunch tomorow
alexnorbts: its cobby
davepoobond: oh yeah thats right…
davepoobond: cobby
alexnorbts: so u goin
davepoobond: yes…
alexnorbts: why
davepoobond: urmm..
davepoobond: because
davepoobond: its good to eat lunch
alexnorbts: right
alexnorbts: yea at 845 too
davepoobond: are you scared of that guham?
davepoobond: y’know, the one that likes to ubjub
davepoobond: and has an odius
alexnorbts: ha
alexnorbts: what the fuck
davepoobond: yeah i told you off
davepoobond: what i said was “are you scared of that fat guy that keeps staring at you?”
davepoobond: “y’know, the one that likes to shove umbrellas up every hole in your body and open them”
alexnorbts: ha
alexnorbts: thats fucked up
alexnorbts: freak
davepoobond: “and has a hate for fat cows with huge tits”
alexnorbts: ha
alexnorbts: damn
stimpyismyname: http://www.infiniumlabs.com/
davepoobond: yeah i heard about that
davepoobond: weird
davepoobond: i said something pretty funny about it
davepoobond: “its a cool name, but if its as big as the XBOX, it’ll be nothing but an expensive booster seat for our kids”
stimpyismyname: uhhhh
stimpyismyname: ok..
davepoobond: isnt that funnnnyyy
stimpyismyname: nooo….
davepoobond: its not huh
stimpyismyname: it doesnt make seeennsseeeee
davepoobond: y’know how kids need to sit higher sometimes
davepoobond: you put it under them and they sit on top of them
stimpyismyname: yes dave
stimpyismyname: whats wrong with big consoles
stimpyismyname: i dont understand
davepoobond: too bigggg
davepoobond: maybe? possibly?
stimpyismyname: is this your inner skinny child crying out for help
davepoobond: ….
davepoobond: yes
davepoobond: come on EILEEN
stimpyismyname: oh man
davepoobond: wut
stimpyismyname: :-!
stimpyismyname: thats what
davepoobond: too ra loo ra too ra loo ra
stimpyismyname: da da da da da duh dad de da