These are Lame Chats and Stupid IMs
davepoobond: did u finish the castlevania game
stimpyismyname: no
davepoobond: are you going to or are you still working on it
stimpyismyname: i sorta gave up on it
davepoobond: just put it up as v.1.0
stimpyismyname: no
davepoobond: y not
stimpyismyname: its not a game
davepoobond: so
stimpyismyname: not gonnan
davepoobond: fine, ass
stimpyismyname: ur the ass
stimpyismyname: DUMass
stimpyismyname: haha
stimpyismyname: dumb
davepoobond: k
Note: This happened BEFORE 9/11. Its pretty creepy. You’ll just have to take our word for it that it did happen before.
——————
davepoobond: do you think anything is gonna happen on sept 11?
Evil Hell Cow: it’s possible
davepoobond: well its always possible
davepoobond: 91101, 91102
davepoobond: or maybe 91202
davepoobond: like beverly hills
Evil Hell Cow: nah thats 90210
davepoobond: oh.
davepoobond: >.>
davepoobond: i knew that
Evil Hell Cow: Mmm hmm
davepoobond: i always get those two mixed up
Evil Hell Cow: Lol
In a chat room, Solidussnake was telling people to press alt+F4 on their keyboard.
——————–
davepoobond: hey, when i pressed alt and f4 it didnt do anything cool!
Solidussnake: do it at the same time
Solidussnake: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
davepoobond: nope
davepoobond: nothing happened
davepoobond: i dont know why you’re laughing
davepoobond: its not really that cool
Solidussnake: press the alt button and the f4 button at the same time
davepoobond: ok….the alt…….f4…..
Solidussnake: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
davepoobond: nope nothing happened
Solidussnake: ::cries
davepoobond: does it matter if i’m on a mac or something?
Solidussnake: yes
davepoobond: maybe this only works on a mac
Solidussnake: no
Solidussnake: windows
davepoobond: i have windows
Solidussnake: hmm……..
Solidussnake: it kicks you off
davepoobond: really!
davepoobond: i didnt know that!
davepoobond: ah!
davepoobond: alt f4!
Solidussnake: yep……kicked 30 people offline today…….32
davepoobond: lol
Solidussnake: XD
davepoobond: that’s pretty good there pal
Solidussnake: really?
davepoobond: i was really just messin with ya that whole time
davepoobond: so i guess the jokes on YOU
davepoobond: mwah
davepoobond: mwahahahah
Solidussnake: uh……
davepoobond: hi
Solidussnake: uhhhh…..
davepoobond: anyway. wanna go to my web site?
Solidussnake: ………why???
davepoobond: cuz its a funny web site
davepoobond: u might like it
Solidussnake: …….
davepoobond: so how about it?
davepoobond: you seem to be someone that would enjoy it though, cuz you seem to like to annoy people by making them press alt f4
Solidussnake: 🙂
davepoobond: we’ve got a whole section of stupid IMs and chat rooms
Solidussnake: ………uh………….ok…..
davepoobond: www.squackle.com
Solidussnake: ?
davepoobond: thats the URL
davepoobond: Did you sign up for the Squackle Newsletter?
FutureTrunkxx: uh i dont think so
davepoobond: did you even get it?
FutureTrunkxx: i dont think so
davepoobond: hrmm
davepoobond: do you have yer email blocked or somethin
davepoobond: like only people u allow can email
FutureTrunkxx: nope
davepoobond: heh i left out the k
davepoobond: k i’m gonna get it right this time…if you get an email dont respond to it u’ll get unsubscribed
FutureTrunkxx: yeah i got the mail jus now
davepoobond: k
davepoobond: i’ll fwd u todays
FutureTrunkxx: ok
FutureTrunkxx: *kisses u on the lips hard and long sliding muh tounge in ur mouth play with urs with muh own as i firmly grab ur ass pulling ur hips onto muh as i take muh other hand and pulls ur head closer as i put muh other hand in ur pants and stroke ur cock*thanks
davepoobond: oh baby give me some more
FutureTrunkxx: u r BI
davepoobond: no
davepoobond: arent you a girl
FutureTrunkxx: Uh no
davepoobond: =O
FutureTrunkxx: what made u think that
davepoobond: nothin.
davepoobond: i was j/k around
FutureTrunkxx: *kisses him again longer grasping his cock more firmly and pulling his head into the kiss*ok
davepoobond: ok..
FutureTrunkxx: *kisses down his neck and begans to take off his shirt*
davepoobond: ok thats enough of this. ::knees him in the groin then runs away::
FutureTrunkxx: *chases after him*u lil fucker ill kill u for that*says playfully*
davepoobond: AIYEEEEE!! ::jumps up a tree::
FutureTrunkxx: *in mid running transform into a huge white tiger anthro and pounces into the tree and onto him sending falling to the ground on top of him*
davepoobond: what the! get off me ya horny tiger
davepoobond: ::grabs at the ground trying to get away::
FutureTrunkxx: *grasps his cock again and then goes down and sucks onto it hard and fast*
FutureTrunkxx: *holds his arms down so he cant stop him*
davepoobond: … ok this is goin too far
FutureTrunkxx: *uses his tail to tie his legs together*
FutureTrunkxx: *sucks on his cock licking it up and down then taking the full length of it in his mouth*
FutureTrunkxx: do u like this
FutureTrunkxx: *keeps sucking on his cock*
davepoobond: no shut up already. this isnt funny its just disgusting
FutureTrunkxx: *lets him go after he cums into his mouth*
FutureTrunkxx: *wipes his mouth and turns back into a reguralar human*
FutureTrunkxx: Had to much Xtacy i am so horny
davepoobond: y’know that stuff isnt good for you
FutureTrunkxx: yeah
FutureTrunkxx: do u want me to quit
davepoobond: yeah, that’d be good
davepoobond: quit it with the nasty stuff at least. i dont care if you mess up your mind
FutureTrunkxx: illl stop taking X
davepoobond: i mean, seriously, think about it. you turned into a tiger and gave me a bj
FutureTrunkxx: ill just stick to weed
davepoobond: ok good
FutureTrunkxx: yeah but uh i like giving u the bj
FutureTrunkxx: hello dont i get a response
davepoobond: no not while ur high
FutureTrunkxx: i am not high
FutureTrunkxx: well anymore
davepoobond: right
FutureTrunkxx: no for real it wore off
FutureTrunkxx: i am jus bisexual thats all
FutureTrunkxx: not high
davepoobond: ok..
davepoobond: but dont be trying to hit on me or anything k?
FutureTrunkxx: k but why *kisses u on ur lips*
davepoobond: cuz i’m not like that.
FutureTrunkxx: ok
FutureTrunkxx: but one for the road *grabs ur cock*
Evil Hell Cow: u |2 2 u/\/-1337 4 /\/\y /\/\347
Evil Hell Cow: =P
davepoobond: i dont know what u said
Evil Hell Cow: you are too un-leet for my meat
davepoobond: k
Evil Hell Cow: =P
davepoobond: heh
Evil Hell Cow: did you know technically heh means yes
davepoobond: …no..
Evil Hell Cow: thats what it’s original meaning was anyway
Evil Hell Cow: yep!
Evil Hell Cow: We did some slang study in school the other day
davepoobond: ebonics or something
Evil Hell Cow: Heh meant yes
davepoobond: well thats pretty dumb
Evil Hell Cow: but true
davepoobond: man i have a headache…….i’m goin back to school tomrrow, that’s why
Phoenix: heh, I’m on thursday
davepoobond: =P
davepoobond: whats it matter, y’got 2 more days, who cares
davepoobond: ::bangs his head on the table::
Phoenix: lol
Phoenix: Where there ::slides a nail on the table when his head should land::
davepoobond: @.@
davepoobond: e-surance – n. online insurance, insuring your internet access
Phoenix: …. scary
davepoobond: we should open that
davepoobond: we’d make millions of dollars
Phoenix: ….your probably right
davepoobond: oh yaaaaa
davepoobond: there was this really stupid fundraiser thing yesterday
davepoobond: i came in when they had 2 minutes to donate stuff
davepoobond: to send some kids to camp
davepoobond: “comon these kids need to get sent to camp” “1 week of their LIVES” (they ended up sending 11, out of who knows how many)
davepoobond: and they raised like 7000 dollars
Holmes: hah
davepoobond: it was messed up
davepoobond: and the 7-11 franchisees corporation and franchisees gave them half a million dollars
Holmes: wow
davepoobond: and all they said “thanks, thanks so much” and then he turned to the camera
davepoobond: and then he said something, i dont know what it was cuz i was laughing too hard
Holmes: 7-11…screwing people 7 hours a day, 11 days of the week
davepoobond: and then this pregnant black jewish woman does some stand-up
Holmes: LMAO
davepoobond: she’s a “convert”
Holmes: pregnant black jewish woman?
davepoobond: LOL ya
Holmes: LDKMKLNSLMAO
davepoobond: she was ok, but she was really dumb
davepoobond: and most of her jokes werent even laughed at
davepoobond: as soon as she comes up, shes like “oh, i give a new meaning to labor day, dont i”
davepoobond: and all she did was talk about her in-laws and her husband
Holmes: it’s like “say what you are” and she says “I’m a pregnant black jewish woman” and the whole audience laughs
Holmes: then she makes jokes and no one laughs
davepoobond: i mean, she’s like 9 months pregnant, she could’ve broke water AS she was doing it
Holmes: yeah
davepoobond: that woulda been great to see
davepoobond: “you know, Jewish people can’t whisper -” SPRAYYYYYYYYYY
Holmes: “MY WATER BROKE”
Audience: “HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA”
Holmes: “I NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION”
AUDIENCE: “HAHAHAHHA SHE’S PREGANT HAHAHAHHA”
davepoobond: do u know what MDA is
davepoobond: lolll
Holmes: mda?
davepoobond: besides a drug
Holmes: nop
davepoobond: yeah that was the foundation
davepoobond: that was hosting it or whatever
davepoobond: i think ed macmahon was there
Holmes: oh
davepoobond: it was such crap
davepoobond: it was like 4 hours long
davepoobond: and they raised 10 million half-way
Holmes: wow
davepoobond: (i bet it was just inflated though)
davepoobond: they just add 9.9 million here and there
davepoobond: to get people to call
davepoobond: cuz “others are”
Holmes: hehe
Holmes: lmao
———————–
Fun fact: Later on, the bookstore davepoobond works at during college did a fundraiser for the same association to send kids to camp. The association is called the Muscular Dystrophy Association 😛
Note: davepoobond WAS on AIM. How else could they be talking?
————–
Jasonishigh: was up
davepoobond: uh not much
davepoobond: you
Jasonishigh: do u have Aim
davepoobond: nope
Jasonishigh: OH BYE THEN
davepoobond: k
Note: davepoobond was on a screen name that…wasn’t indicative of any particular name
—————————–
gUnsNRoses4321: try to find wats wrong with this picture Put ur volume up, cuz the sounds r gonna help u figure it out… its tricky
davepoobond: …
davepoobond: whats it supposed to be even
gUnsNRoses4321: something is wrong with the picture, put ur volume like all the way up and try to find it out
davepoobond: uh k
gUnsNRoses4321: do it
davepoobond: i’m goin…
davepoobond: dont pee your pants ok
davepoobond: wtf is with the plugin
davepoobond: i didnt see anything
gUnsNRoses4321: forget it
davepoobond: k..
gUnsNRoses4321: dave
davepoobond: ?
gUnsNRoses4321: how do u spell ur name
davepoobond: mack
davepoobond: your a long way off there pal
davepoobond: you have the a right
davepoobond: well anyway, gotta go bye
davepoobond: o wait, did you see guns n roses return
gUnsNRoses4321: me 2
gUnsNRoses4321: yea, they sucked
gUnsNRoses4321: or at least axl did
davepoobond: haha
davepoobond: they sounded alright, just axl is kinda weird
gUnsNRoses4321: wait ur the freshmen right
davepoobond: ….uh no…
davepoobond: i’m 21 dude
gUnsNRoses4321: oh how did u get this sn
davepoobond: my sn or ur sn
gUnsNRoses4321: my
davepoobond: …wait
davepoobond: my meaning mine or my meaning yours
gUnsNRoses4321: mine
davepoobond: so its me?
gUnsNRoses4321: gUnsNRoses4321
davepoobond: oh. someone told me it
davepoobond: someone was goin through chat rooms saying “IM gUnsNRoses4321”
davepoobond: i dont recall who it was
davepoobond: anyway, gtg bye
davepoobond: :-!
BAA: hello how ar eu tonight im from york area can i ask ur a/l/s
OddiZ: 16/f/pa
BAA: hows ur night
OddiZ: boring
OddiZ: how about u?
BAA: same alittle in asexy mood is that ok
OddiZ: yeah
OddiZ: are u
OddiZ: not really, I am just tired, that’s all
OddiZ: want to suck my dick?
OddiZ: I’m waiting
OddiZ: fine then, donkey dick
OddiZ: i will go n play with mr slave
BAA: what
OddiZ: ta ta
AWSSkater: i need a new one
SheMaleHo: your “Moo Moo’s” a fag!!!
SheMaleHo: i killed it and nailed it to a crucifix!!!
AWSSkater: FAGGOT
AWSSkater: are you talking to cait?
SheMaleHo: then i barbequed it
SheMaleHo: no
SheMaleHo: im watching you
AWSSkater: ask her why it keeps saying i cant talk to her
SheMaleHo: whA?
SheMaleHo: i can see you out my window…
AWSSkater: cool
AWSSkater: what am i doing
SheMaleHo: i nailed “Moo Moo’s” head on the hood of my car
AWSSkater: what room am i in
SheMaleHo: theone with the computer
SheMaleHo: am i right?
AWSSkater: yes
AWSSkater: and what room is that
SheMaleHo: the one with the keyboard in it
SheMaleHo: it also has a door
SheMaleHo: am i right?
AWSSkater: caits name doesnt work anymore
SheMaleHo: your house is brown
AWSSkater: yes
AWSSkater: you cheated
SheMaleHo: and its on a corner
AWSSkater: you cheated again
SheMaleHo: your upstairs
SheMaleHo: your typing from your bed
AWSSkater: yes
AWSSkater: you’re still cheating
SheMaleHo: you have long black hair
SheMaleHo: ooooh you look so nice
AWSSkater: anything else you’d like to add
AWSSkater: when is my birthday?
SheMaleHo: im gonna feel you….
SheMaleHo: i dont know, i can just see you
AWSSkater: what color is my shirt
SheMaleHo: you know what color it is
AWSSkater: yes, but do you
SheMaleHo: of course! i can see you silly
SheMaleHo: oooh im taking off my pants to look at you
AWSSkater: you’re gay
SheMaleHo: you got it! :-*
AWSSkater: wow
AWSSkater: im right
SheMaleHo: i wish you had no shirt
SheMaleHo: 😛
AWSSkater: but i do
AWSSkater: ask cait why i cant talk to her, i know you can
SheMaleHo: i know
SheMaleHo: i can?
AWSSkater: unless this is her in disguise
AWSSkater: she tricked me like that before, you know
AWSSkater: well she didnt trick me
SheMaleHo: this isnt a trick
AWSSkater: i knew it was her
SheMaleHo: take off your shirt
SheMaleHo: oh c’mon
AWSSkater: um…
AWSSkater: no?
SheMaleHo: my pants are already off, dont waste my time
AWSSkater: im back, ugly
SheMaleHo: i like it when you talk dirty
AWSSkater: oh
AWSSkater: okay
SheMaleHo: say it again
AWSSkater: okay
SheMaleHo: Cryin’ Ryan
AWSSkater: shutup
AWSSkater: Trunks Briefs
SheMaleHo: Cryyyyyyyin’ Ryyyyyyyyan
AWSSkater: ho
SheMaleHo: oooh, Briefs, you wear briefs?
AWSSkater: no actually i wear boxers
AWSSkater: either you keep asking cait stuff or you are her in disguise,
which is it
SheMaleHo: disquise?
SheMaleHo: ooooh kinky, role playing
AWSSkater: what?
SheMaleHo: ok, ill me the bad dog and you be my master, discipline me
AWSSkater: um…
AWSSkater: go in the corner while i piss on your head
SheMaleHo: soooo kinky
AWSSkater: you’re weird
SheMaleHo: lemme get the whip and handcuffs
AWSSkater: that would be okay if you were female, but you arent
AWSSkater: as far as i know
SheMaleHo: y’know, i have a dog, i can bring him over with some whipped cream and peanut butter
AWSSkater: that’s okay
SheMaleHo: we can be a sandwich!
AWSSkater: no
SheMaleHo: well…still want my thong?
AWSSkater: what?
AWSSkater: you scare me
SheMaleHo: im going to throw my purple thong at your window, catch it
AWSSkater: k
SheMaleHo: wait, ill keep them
SheMaleHo: theyre edible
AWSSkater: k
SheMaleHo: and im hungry
AWSSkater: lol
AWSSkater: how many dogs do i have>
AWSSkater: ?
SheMaleHo: oh, Caaiiiiite
AWSSkater: shutup
SheMaleHo: OMG!!! shes flashing me again!
AWSSkater: shutup
SheMaleHo: theres a sign
SheMaleHo: it says….I…..want….you….Ch…whats that?
SheMaleHo: her boob is blocking it
AWSSkater: what?
SheMaleHo: Ch….r….i…damn nipple
SheMaleHo: Chris!
SheMaleHo: me!
AWSSkater: shutup
SheMaleHo: whats the matter Cryin’ Ryan
SheMaleHo: jealous?
AWSSkater: nothing of that sort is happening so it doesnt matter
SheMaleHo: it is
AWSSkater: riiiiigggghhhht, and my name is blowjob
SheMaleHo: oooooooooh sexy
AWSSkater: hey
AWSSkater: no
SheMaleHo: come over to my place, my nickname is…snoow blow
AWSSkater: LOL
AWSSkater: how many cats do i have
SheMaleHo: lemme count
SheMaleHo: hmmmm
SheMaleHo: hmmm
SheMaleHo: not counting the one i nailed to a crucufix…1…
SheMaleHo: Moo moo and Mickey
SheMaleHo: or Kittie
SheMaleHo: whatever
AWSSkater: what color is mickey
SheMaleHo: ummm…
AWSSkater: lol
SheMaleHo: Dark brown…and black striped
SheMaleHo: Ewwww, whats that scab on his head?
AWSSkater: scap is a funny word
SheMaleHo: so is homo…oh wait
AWSSkater: here is a tough question
AWSSkater: where is my birthmark
SheMaleHo: take off all your clothes first
SheMaleHo: i think i see it on your…wait…im to distracted by Caites boob
SheMaleHo: wait…its on…your arm i think
SheMaleHo: am i right?
AWSSkater: yeah
AWSSkater: where
SheMaleHo: Caite…
AWSSkater: what
SheMaleHo: nipple
SheMaleHo: nipple
AWSSkater: boobie
SheMaleHo: nipple
AWSSkater: boobie
SheMaleHo: y’know…im actually…your uncle
SheMaleHo: your long lost uncle
SheMaleHo: and im attracted to you….im a hillbilly
AWSSkater: ::says in a hillbilly accent:: get on yer knees and take down them suspender boy!!
SheMaleHo: Ok sailor!!!
AWSSkater: lol
AWSSkater: or are you a female
AWSSkater: im not sure
SheMaleHo: well lets see….im your uncle!! so could i be male…or female
AWSSkater: lol
AWSSkater: im messing around
SheMaleHo: want some weed from your ol’ uncle?
SheMaleHo: its the herb of the earth
AWSSkater: i hate drugs
SheMaleHo: the herb will set your mind free!, man!!!
AWSSkater: so will spinning around in circles
SheMaleHo: so is doing anal…
AWSSkater: weird
SheMaleHo: you..think anal is weird?
SheMaleHo: obviously youve never tried it
SheMaleHo: come over to my house
SheMaleHo: its the pink frilly one on fudgepacker avenue
AWSSkater: i dont pack fudge
AWSSkater: im not a poopie dick
AWSSkater: by the way, how do you see my room with the curtain closed
SheMaleHo: im your uncle…Clark Kent, i have X-ray Vision
AWSSkater: clark kent doesnt have X-ray vision
SheMaleHo: who would know better? Clark Kent or you Cryin’ Ryan?
AWSSkater: who would know what better
SheMaleHo: who would know better if i had X-ray vision?
SheMaleHo: to tell you a secret, Im superman
SheMaleHo: doesnt it all make sense?
AWSSkater: yeah, but clark kent doesnt have x-ray vision only superman
SheMaleHo: i live in the country, so im a hilbilly, i wear redish tights
so i must have a purple thong SOMEWHERE, and i can see through your curtains
AWSSkater: so that makes you very weird
SheMaleHo: im a hillbilly and i have a shotgun
AWSSkater: what color is the bracelet im wearing
SheMaleHo: hmmmm
SheMaleHo: X-ray visios is kinda color blind but lemme try
AWSSkater: okay
SheMaleHo: its kinda silver…
SheMaleHo: with a purplish tint
SheMaleHo: am i right?
AWSSkater: yes
AWSSkater: actaully pink
AWSSkater: what color are my eyes
SheMaleHo: hmmmm
SheMaleHo: purple…right?
AWSSkater: no
SheMaleHo: oh wait, i was staring at Caites nipple again, sorry
SheMaleHo: brown
AWSSkater: lol
AWSSkater: what color is my real hair
SheMaleHo: hmmmm
SheMaleHo: medium brown
SheMaleHo: just like your pubes…i mean!! your…
AWSSkater: lol
AWSSkater: now you wont know stuff, cait signed off
SheMaleHo: she was online?
AWSSkater: maybe
SheMaleHo: puuuubes
SheMaleHo: nipple
SheMaleHo: Cryin’ Ryan
AWSSkater: that was an old nickname, you dont have to call me that anymore
SheMaleHo: im related to the king of Bahrain
AWSSkater: hey
AWSSkater: i know him
AWSSkater: the poo guy
SheMaleHo: Clark Kents, the hillbilly, purple thong wearing, attracted to his nephew cryin Ryan, prince of Bahrain
AWSSkater: hehe
AWSSkater: so you know the poo guy too
AWSSkater: thats probably you
SheMaleHo: oh yes
SheMaleHo: hes a VERY good freind
AWSSkater: the guy i beat with a wifflle ball bat
SheMaleHo: why did you do that?
SheMaleHo: hes the king of Bahrain!
SheMaleHo: you cant do that to him!!!
AWSSkater: but i did
SheMaleHo: this is an outrage! you must come to my house for your….punishment :Þ
AWSSkater: where do you live then
SheMaleHo: Bahrain but a ihave a house…near you
AWSSkater: where is that
SheMaleHo: its right next to Saudi Arabia, its too small to be on the map anyway
AWSSkater: that’s pretty far away
SheMaleHo: 600 people live there
AWSSkater: lol
angelina: Hi, would you like to chat?
Mugen Guy: ok
Mugen Guy: indeed
angelina: I’m 20/F/CA 🙂
Mugen Guy: im19/m/cali
angelina: might have to run, do you want to see my pics?
Mugen Guy: are you in track?
angelina: alright no problem have a good one, check out my profile if you want!
Mugen Guy: good one what
angelina: bye
Mugen Guy: i want to see your pics not your profile you dumb broad
Mugen Guy: fine then bleotch later