Category Archives: Chat Logs

These are Lame Chats and Stupid IMs

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#8540: XI -> LyCelt

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XI: are u in the ira?

LyCelt: yes!

LyCelt: my dad owns the IRA.

XI: do u guys go out drinking a lot of booze

LyCelt: yes we get shitefaced every night.

LyCelt: in fact, I’m shitefaced right now.

XI: kewlie

LyCelt: I’m the master bomb wirer so they hit me up with some Guinness and cherry flavoured cigars and I get working!

XI: woa that is so kewl.

LyCelt: YES SO WHERE ARE MY SUPPLIES?! I gotta bomb me some 2 story buses!!!!

XI: -hides- i dont know where u supplies are

XI: maybe you left them in the garage?

LyCelt: WE DON’T HAVE A GARAGE. My dumbass uncle Patrick blew it up last week.

LyCelt: That stupid Mick, doesn’t know his left arm from his right pinky toe!

XI: r u serios?????? is he retarded or something???!!!!

LyCelt: no he is just crazy like all of us.

XI: o i c

XI: do you eat potatoes

LyCelt: Who in the hell DOESN’T eat potatoes?!

XI: u have a point

XI: but u are supposed to eat potatoes

LyCelt: AND WHY IS THAT?!

XI: cus ur irish n irish people eat lot of potatoes.

LyCelt: WE DO NOT!

LyCelt: HOW ABOUT I TAKE A TATER AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE FOR THAT COMMENT?!

XI: i dont mean to offend u.

LyCelt: I’LL GET MY UNCLE PATRICK TO BLOW UP YOUR GARAGE IF YOU DON’T STFU AND STOP MAKING RACIST COMMENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

XI: ok sorry

XI: gtg bye

XI signed off at 4:12 PM

Chat Logs, Prank IMs, Stupid IMs

#8538: MadManWithAnAxe -> doomsday

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MadManWithAnAxe: What the hell did you just call me?

doomsday: nothin

doomsday: what r u talkinabout

MadManWithAnAxe: you heard me

doomsday: i haent even talked to u

MadManWithAnAxe: yeah you did

MadManWithAnAxe: it was a while ago

doomsday: when

doomsday: i dont remember

MadManWithAnAxe: well we were discussing midget porn

doomsday: midget porn

MadManWithAnAxe: yep

doomsday: ok well ive never talked bout midget porn before

MadManWithAnAxe: you did with me

doomsday: umm no i didnt

MadManWithAnAxe: we were contimplating how it will inevitably collapse the
structure of american economics

MadManWithAnAxe: remember now?

doomsday: no

MadManWithAnAxe: oh

MadManWithAnAxe: well….wanna talk about it now?

MadManWithAnAxe: c’mon

MadManWithAnAxe: everybody’s doing it

MadManWithAnAxe: don’t you wanna be popular?

doomsday: umm no

doomsday: i dont want to talk bout miget porn

MadManWithAnAxe: well…what do you want to talk about?

MadManWithAnAxe: Toast fucking?

MadManWithAnAxe: it’s this new thing where you fuck, or get fucked with toast

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#8536: Boxtop11 -> Bd8Destructo5

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Boxtop11: Who’s Master?

Bd8Destructo5: my stuffed bunny

Bd8Destructo5: he talkles to me

Bd8Destructo5: he tells me to do things that i don’t want 2 do

Boxtop11: Well, I have this imp named Bobo in my mind who talks to me.

Boxtop11: He likes cheese, and he keeps urging me to go to Wisconsin.

Bd8Destructo5: does he make u call him Master? like my bunny

Boxtop11: No.

Bd8Destructo5: oh well mine beats me in my toilet and flush

Bd8Destructo5: with a carrot

Bd8Destructo5: hard

Bd8Destructo5: hello

Boxtop11: Master must be possessed.

Bd8Destructo5: master say’s i need big big pants that are tight and wet and
warm

Bd8Destructo5: oooooh

Bd8Destructo5: oh yeah ophhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Bd8Destructo5: hello

Boxtop11: What?

Bd8Destructo5: chickenbutt

Boxtop11: Bobo is scared of you.

Boxtop11: He says that you need help.

Bd8Destructo5: i’m not that ugly

Boxtop11: Bobo didn’t say you were ugly.

Bd8Destructo5: master say’s i am

Bd8Destructo5: i telling

Bd8Destructo5: master

Bd8Destructo5: master?

Boxtop11: Bobo says you need to go to your nearest church and get Master
exorcised.

Bd8Destructo5: will you be my new master i’ll feed u carrots

Bd8Destructo5: hello

Boxtop11: Bobo would rather not.

Bd8Destructo5: you not hobo

Bd8Destructo5: i mean bob0o

Boxtop11: I never said I was a hobo.

Boxtop11: Or a bob0o

Bd8Destructo5: oh

Bd8Destructo5: i knew that

Bd8Destructo5: master a hobo

Bd8Destructo5: master

Bd8Destructo5: master????

Bd8Destructo5: hello

Bd8Destructo5: hello?

Boxtop11: Oh. Well, Bobo’s pet Goomba can do flips.

Boxtop11: yayayayaya

Bd8Destructo5: master says HOBO

Bd8Destructo5: master likes the letter B

Boxtop11: Bobo says Master should go eat a cheeseburger while driving a Bush
3,000 miles per hour off a cliff.

Boxtop11: B is for Barnacles.

Bd8Destructo5: THIS IS NOT SPONGEBOB

Boxtop11: Who is it then? Frankenstien? HI FRANK

Bd8Destructo5: MASTER NEEDS A SPONGEBOB

Boxtop11: WELL GO BUY THE SPONGEBOB DVD DANGIT

Bd8Destructo5: OK

Bd8Destructo5: WAIT I HAVE IT

Bd8Destructo5: WHAT DVD

Bd8Destructo5: DOES IT HAVE SPONGEBOBIN ITR

Boxtop11: THE PIPEN SHMOOGEN DVD

Boxtop11: YEAH AND HE DOES A DANCE IN A CHINA SHOP

Bd8Destructo5: BYE JUST KIDDIN

Boxtop11: that was funni hahah

Bd8Destructo5: I NO

Boxtop11: Bobo is eatting pie right now.

Bd8Destructo5: I AM EATING MY TOE

Bd8Destructo5: THE BIG TOE

Boxtop11: I have toe fungus. Want some?

Bd8Destructo5: WANTS SOM

Boxtop11: Only $4.99 plus shipping and handling.

Bd8Destructo5: I PASS

Boxtop11: THEN DO YOU WANT SOME NOODLES

Bd8Destructo5: WHAT KIND

Boxtop11: PANANANANANANANANANREMASTRELLI

Bd8Destructo5: UI DON’TSPE3AK STUPID

Boxtop11: WHATHDJ>G

Bd8Destructo5: G-UNIT’

Boxtop11: WHAT ABOUT GUNDAM?

Bd8Destructo5: G-UNIT

Boxtop11: whozzat

Bd8Destructo5: GANSTER

Boxtop11: GANSTER BOTTLE

Bd8Destructo5: FDGYAHRUIAHREGJHDEFGIU I TOLD U I DO’T SPEAK STUPID

Boxtop11: WELL I YOU OBVIOUSLY DONT SPEAK SMART

Bd8Destructo5: SHHHHHH

Boxtop11: y

Bd8Destructo5: MASTER GIVES ME MEDICINE FOR THAT

Bd8Destructo5: Y?

Boxtop11: Bobo says Master is evil.

Bd8Destructo5: :X

Boxtop11: HE SELLS YOU OVERPRISED MEDICINE DANG IT

Bd8Destructo5: HE IS COMING BYE

Boxtop11: ok

Bd8Destructo5: JUST KIDDIN

Bd8Destructo5: OH MASTER

Boxtop11: yeah well master doesn’t know where I live.

Boxtop11: Bobo is watching television.

Bd8Destructo5: YES HE DOES YOU ARE THE HOBO IMEAN BOBO IMEAN GIRL I MEAN
STUPID 1

Boxtop11: I AM NOT A GIRL

Boxtop11: I DEW NOT LIKE ‘EM

Bd8Destructo5: I TOLD YOU MASTER SHE IS NOT A GUY

Boxtop11: I AM NOT A GIRL FRANKENPANTS

Bd8Destructo5: HJELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Boxtop11: JELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Bd8Destructo5: HOW OLD R U???????????

Boxtop11: NEENOONEENOONEENOONEENOO

Boxtop11: -5251 YRS OLD

Bd8Destructo5: I’M 1

Boxtop11: WOW

Bd8Destructo5: 3

Bd8Destructo5: PUT 1AND 3 TOGETHER

Boxtop11: WOW YOU DOUBLED YOUR AGE IN 4 MICROSECONDS

Bd8Destructo5: BYE

Boxtop11: 1 + 3 = Q! YAY 4 ME

Bd8Destructo5: JUST KID

Boxtop11: LOOK OUTSIDE THE ALIENS HAVE LANDED

Boxtop11: JUST KID

Bd8Destructo5: ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]I DID

Boxtop11: OK

Boxtop11: GO EAT SOME PIE

Bd8Destructo5: WHAT?

Bd8Destructo5: NO

Boxtop11: I AM THE MASTER OF INSANITY

Boxtop11: BOW BEFORE MY INCREDUMBLE MIGHT

Bd8Destructo5: NO I AM

Bd8Destructo5: HE#####NO

Boxtop11: WHATS A #

Bd8Destructo5: LL

Boxtop11: OH WEOE

Boxtop11: WEEWEE

Boxtop11: BOW DOWN TO LORD SNUFFLEPUSS

Bd8Destructo5: OK

Boxtop11: UM I MEAN SNUFFLEUPAGUS

Bd8Destructo5: OK

Boxtop11: DO YOU HAVE ANY INSANE FWEINDS

Bd8Destructo5: YES

Boxtop11: WHO THEY BE

Bd8Destructo5: MASTER

Boxtop11: DOES MASTER HAVE A WEB SITE?

Bd8Destructo5: YES

Bd8Destructo5: ITS CALLED RED-RUM

Boxtop11: what is the address

Bd8Destructo5: I DONT KNOW

Boxtop11: OK

Boxtop11: FUFUFF

Bd8Destructo5: MASTER DOESNT LET ME GO OUTSIDE

Bd8Destructo5: THE LIGHT

Boxtop11: OH DEAR

Boxtop11: HE MUST BE A VAMPIRE

Bd8Destructo5: HE IS A BUNNY VAMIRE

Bd8Destructo5: DRACUNNY

Boxtop11: DOES HE SUCK BLOOD AT NITE

Bd8Destructo5: HE SUCKS MY BLOOD

Boxtop11: SO R U A VAMIRE

Bd8Destructo5: YES,I SUCK MY BLOOD

Boxtop11: MUST BE TASTY

Bd8Destructo5: IT IS

Boxtop11: IS MASTER AN AGENT OF THE MATRIX?

Bd8Destructo5: YESSSSSSSSS

Boxtop11: oh dear

Boxtop11: OH DEAR WE ARE ALL DAYED.

Bd8Destructo5: HE SHOOTS ME

Boxtop11: AND DO YOU GET DEPIXELATED

Bd8Destructo5: YES

Boxtop11: AH LOCO IN THE CABESA

Boxtop11: DID HE KILL PIKACHU?

Bd8Destructo5: ME TOO

Boxtop11: I DO SEE

Bd8Destructo5: MASTER

Bd8Destructo5: STARTS

Bd8Destructo5: WITH

Bd8Destructo5: B

Boxtop11: BASTER?

Boxtop11: omg master is BUSTER BUNNY?

Bd8Destructo5: YES

Boxtop11: poor tiny toons

Boxtop11: LOOK OUT HERE COMES INVADER ZIM

Bd8Destructo5: MASTER OWNS TINY TOONS

Boxtop11: AHH MY PANCREAS

Bd8Destructo5: ME TOO

Boxtop11: YES

Bd8Destructo5: YES NO MAYBE SO,MASTER BEATS ME WITH A GI-JO

Boxtop11: OWCH

Bd8Destructo5: VOICES ARE IN MY HEAD

Bd8Destructo5: I CANT ISTEN 2 THEM ALL AT ONCE

Bd8Destructo5: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Bd8Destructo5: BOOM

Boxtop11: Bobo is eatting a cheeseburger

Boxtop11: MMM PICKLES

Bd8Destructo5: I C TRAIN TRACKS,I SEE TRAIN,BOOM

Boxtop11: OMG THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE

Bd8Destructo5: HE BEATS ME 2

Boxtop11: WHAT ABOUT HAMTARO

Bd8Destructo5: HIM TO

Boxtop11: HAMTARO WORKS FOR THE KIDS NEXT DOOR DID U KNO

Bd8Destructo5: HE’S FRIENDS WITH MASTER BUNNY

Boxtop11: OH DR

Bd8Destructo5: DEAR

Boxtop11: WELL I MUST NOW ESCAPE TO MY FORT OF SOLITUDE CYA

Bd8Destructo5: BYE

Chat Logs, Prank IMs, Stupid IMs

#8532: MadManWithAnAxe -> EmoKid

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MadManWithAnAxe: howdy, sunshine

EmoKid: WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?

MadManWithAnAxe: i’ll give you 3 guesses

EmoKid: how bout u tell me cuz im to busy to guess

MadManWithAnAxe: busy with what?!?

MadManWithAnAxe: you’re too good for me now????

MadManWithAnAxe: i thought we were ”bestest friends forever”

EmoKid: looking for a new camera

MadManWithAnAxe: we signed that treaty

EmoKid: ya well i am when i dont know who the fuck u are

MadManWithAnAxe: i have to go

MadManWithAnAxe: i’ll see you tomorrow

MadManWithAnAxe: fucker

EmoKid: NO u wont

EmoKid: cuz u dont know me FUCK FACE

EmoKid: FUCK a treaty

MadManWithAnAxe: b-b-b-b-b-b-b-but….

MadManWithAnAxe: i….love…you

EmoKid: u dont even know who i am

MadManWithAnAxe: i just could never tell you

MadManWithAnAxe: until now

EmoKid: u dont even know my name

MadManWithAnAxe: do name’s matter when it comes to true love?

MadManWithAnAxe: what’s in a name?

MadManWithAnAxe: a rose by any other blah blah blah…

EmoKid: yes it does and im not telling u my name

EmoKid: i dont even know u or where u live or who u are

MadManWithAnAxe: none of that matters anymore

MadManWithAnAxe: will……will you be my date to the prom?

MadManWithAnAxe: your silence says everything

MadManWithAnAxe: i know about……her

MadManWithAnAxe: i’ve known all along

MadManWithAnAxe: i thought you changed

MadManWithAnAxe: i thought you were different

MadManWithAnAxe: but i guess i was naive

MadManWithAnAxe: you’re all the same

EmoKid: u dont know if im a femal or male i dont know what the hell u are

MadManWithAnAxe: what difference does it make??!?!

MadManWithAnAxe: i LOVE you

EmoKid: it makes a big difference

MadManWithAnAxe: how so?

EmoKid: cuz if u dont know me than u cant love me

MadManWithAnAxe: but, i DO love you

MadManWithAnAxe: i love you with all my soul

EmoKid: u dont know me fucker

MadManWithAnAxe: i know you enough to love you

MadManWithAnAxe: i WANT you

MadManWithAnAxe: i NEED you

MadManWithAnAxe: i LOVE you

EmoKid: U DONT KNOW ME AT ALL

MadManWithAnAxe: how could you say that?!? after all we’ve been through

EmoKid: we havent been throught ne thing

MadManWithAnAxe: :-(all the good times we had

EmoKid: if u knew me u would know my name

EmoKid: if u really did feel that way u would tell me who u were

MadManWithAnAxe: if you don’t know….then i guess you don’t love me anymore

MadManWithAnAxe: oh yeah, and that kiss….IT MEANT NOTHING

EmoKid: what kiss

MadManWithAnAxe: :'(YOU DON’T REMEMBER?!?

EmoKid: i dont know who u are so no i woulndt know

MadManWithAnAxe: i hate you

MadManWithAnAxe: i HATE you

EmoKid: ok good i dont even know u

EmoKid: so i dont give a FUCK

MadManWithAnAxe: how could you say that

EmoKid: because i can

MadManWithAnAxe: and not for the better

EmoKid: like i said u dontk now if im a guy or a girl so ya

MadManWithAnAxe: bye

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#8531: MadManWithAnAxe -> EmoKid

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MadManWithAnAxe: yeah, he reminds me of tony danza in a way…

EmoKid: whos this?

MadManWithAnAxe: i go by many names…

MadManWithAnAxe: most would refer to me as Spanky McTweezleberry

MadManWithAnAxe: but YOU, my friend, will refer to me as CAPTAIN Spanky

EmoKid: actually umm no i wont

MadManWithAnAxe: aww, please?

EmoKid: how the fuck did u get my sn

MadManWithAnAxe: I call it a findy machine, but most would call it a
Shriptikolden, due to it’s akward shape

EmoKid: and how did my sn come up

MadManWithAnAxe: I put the doodad into the Kreplon and….look, do i really
have to explain how my findy machine works?

EmoKid: no u have to tell me how my sn came up on this thing

MadManWithAnAxe: It’s a pretty complicated process, it involves two cans
of campbell’s tomato soup, a backpack full of chalupas from taco bell, a
horse named fredricca, and a strange man from nantucket

EmoKid: hmmn

EmoKid: whats ur ASL

MadManWithAnAxe: guess

MadManWithAnAxe: i’ll give you a nickle

EmoKid: I rather not

EmoKid: i dont need a nickle

MadManWithAnAxe: but a nickle has limitless uses, you can never have too
many of them

EmoKid: ya u can

MadManWithAnAxe: i beg to differ

EmoKid: oh well

MadManWithAnAxe: care to dance?

EmoKid: No i dont want to Dance

MadManWithAnAxe: you’re no fun

EmoKid: and u act like i give a FUCK

MadManWithAnAxe: =-Oi am appaled at your use of language

EmoKid: so what

MadManWithAnAxe: that could’ve been hurtful if used in a more threatining
manner

EmoKid: oh WOW

MadManWithAnAxe: guess what

EmoKid: what

MadManWithAnAxe: that wasn’t much of a guess…try again

EmoKid: umm let me see ahh WHAT????

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#8530: scary fairy elf -> MadManWithAnAxe

2 Comments

scary fairy elf: hey bitchface

MadManWithAnAxe: why so cruel?

scary fairy elf: becauase men with small dicksaren’t really men as they claim to be

MadManWithAnAxe: ummm….ok

MadManWithAnAxe: was that an insult?

scary fairy elf: yes basterd

scary fairy elf: you fucked your father thTS JUST WRONG!

MadManWithAnAxe: oh…try a little harder next time and i might possibly take offense to one of your stupid ass remarks

scary fairy elf: YOU FUCK COWS THEY GO MOO, MOO THEY GO FUCK YOU DO

MadManWithAnAxe: hahahaha, that was by far the stupidest thing i’ve heard all day

MadManWithAnAxe: you should try and make a living out of being so stupid

MadManWithAnAxe: you could make a lot of money, you know

scary fairy elf: ya, whats it to you?

MadManWithAnAxe: i was just trying to help, seeing as you’ll most likely end up giving blowjobs for crack

MadManWithAnAxe: and because being a complete moron seems to come natural to you

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#8526: MadManWithAnAxe -> dnLFlipIt

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MadManWithAnAxe: What’s up bro?

dnLFlipIt: Wassup MadManWithAnAxe! I’m dnL Flipit. brought to you by Dr.
Pepper/7-Up Inc.

I can tell you about the slammin’ new soda dnL, help you win $5 mil, play
games and more. To read more about privacy, click here

To get going, type “home” now.

MadManWithAnAxe: What did you just call me?

dnLFlipIt: Since this is your first visit, it’s a good idea to start by typing
“home.” That way I can show you everything I can do for you.

MadManWithAnAxe: nah, i don’t “swing” that way, brother

dnLFlipIt: Hmm… whatever!

>> I have cool games & downloads too. Type “play it” to check them
out!

MadManWithAnAxe: Did you see that movie where the guy raped the little kids
and then he ate them?

dnLFlipIt: Who knows, know what I mean? lol!

MadManWithAnAxe: No…i’m afraid i don’t quite comprehend

dnLFlipIt: Amazing!

MadManWithAnAxe: You know what’s more amazing? when i break your fucking
foot off and shove it up up your asshole

dnLFlipIt: Uh… Whatever.

MadManWithAnAxe: ASFSAAGEAHGEAHE!

dnLFlipIt: I’m sorry?

MadManWithAnAxe: i forgive you

dnLFlipIt: I can’t believe you forgive me!

MadManWithAnAxe: Why not

dnLFlipIt: For various reasons, I suppose.

MadManWithAnAxe: suppose is a funny word

dnLFlipIt: Suppose is a funny word? I don’t know.

MadManWithAnAxe: you should

dnLFlipIt: It’s interesting that you say I should.

MadManWithAnAxe: What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

dnLFlipIt: What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

MadManWithAnAxe: Hey, i ask the questions around here, bub.

dnLFlipIt: Hey you ask the questions around here bub? Is that right?

MadManWithAnAxe: No…

dnLFlipIt: No? You sure?

MadManWithAnAxe: No

dnLFlipIt: I see.

MadManWithAnAxe: I don’t think you do

dnLFlipIt: What?

MadManWithAnAxe: you heard me

dnLFlipIt: Indeed.

MadManWithAnAxe: What are you wearing?

dnLFlipIt: Um… Regular guys’ clothes, I guess. Why do you ask?

MadManWithAnAxe: Because you make me so hot sometimes

dnLFlipIt: Oh yeah? I make you so hot sometimes?

MadManWithAnAxe: Oh yeah…i’m not gay, but, you’re different from other
guys. Rub my nipples

dnLFlipIt: Oh?

MadManWithAnAxe: YES

dnLFlipIt: OK…

MadManWithAnAxe: thanks!

dnLFlipIt: Sure!

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#8524: OrianDragon -> MadManWithAnAxe

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OrianDragon:
hjfhjdshjkfhjkfdhjkfshjkfhjkhjkfdshjkfdshjkfdshjkfdshjkfdshjkfdshjkfdshj
kfdsahjkfdsahjkfdashjkfdhjkfhjkhjkfdshjkfdhjkfdhjkfdhjkfdshjkfdshjfdhjkf
dhjkfdhjkfdshjkfdhjkfdshjkfdshjkfdhjkfdshjkfdshjkfdshjkfdshjkfdshjkfdshj
kfdshjkfdhjkfdhjkfdshjkfdsghjkfdsjfdshjkhjkfdhjkfdhjka

MadManWithAnAxe: you take that back!

OrianDragon: no make me

MadManWithAnAxe: *makes you*

OrianDragon: no

MadManWithAnAxe: *uses the all powerful MIND BEAM!!!*

OrianDragon: (dodge)

MadManWithAnAxe: damnit!! the targets at the shooting range didn’t move…

OrianDragon: to fast you

MadManWithAnAxe: *mesmorizes you with hypnotic belly dancing*

OrianDragon: well counter attack you with my ferret of doom

MadManWithAnAxe: how did you know my undescribable intense paranoia of ferrets?!?

OrianDragon: haha you don’t know what scares me

MadManWithAnAxe: *pulls out a full size cardboard cutout of Judy Dench wearing nothing but duct tape*

OrianDragon: nnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

MadManWithAnAxe: YES *jiggles it around to make it look like it’s dancing*

OrianDragon: no stop it but lawngnomes scare me to

MadManWithAnAxe: ah, yes *pulls out a sharpie and draws a lawn gnome’s head in place of judy dench’s*

OrianDragon: oh my god please put it away

MadManWithAnAxe: *throws it aside*

OrianDragon: thank you”pulls out the band Hanson” dance my slave dance

MadManWithAnAxe: =-O

MadManWithAnAxe: *pantomimes a dog putting an etch-a-sketch in the microwave* Mmmmbop THAT!

OrianDragon: no

MadManWithAnAxe: Well, okay

OrianDragon: you will destroy us all

MadManWithAnAxe: *reenacts the entire civil war in 5 minutes*

OrianDragon: “shoots general Lee”

OrianDragon: cival war that

MadManWithAnAxe: *reseructs lee’s soul into an 80 foot grizzly bear with mutant powers*

OrianDragon: “shoots grizzly but doesn’t hurt it so run and summons Godzilla

MadManWithAnAxe: *Lee’s grizzly body springs forth adamantium claws*

OrianDragon: “Godzilla sommuns Mothra then those two small Japanese chicks come and say Mothra comeback Mothra”

MadManWithAnAxe: *grizzly laughs an evil laugh and entombs mothra in carbonite*

OrianDragon: “then tose two small chicks start biting the grizzlys toes”

MadManWithAnAxe: *the grizzly dies, ironically not from the toe-biting, but from a broken heart…awww*

OrianDragon: isn’t cute

MadManWithAnAxe: so sad…

OrianDragon: “oh no a giant metorite come and kills Godzilla”

MadManWithAnAxe: *it starts to rain and thousands upon thousands of lawn gnomes sprout from the cracks in the sidewalks*

OrianDragon: oh no I’m scared hold me

MadManWithAnAxe: *music begins playing with no apparent source while strobe lights turn the earth into a giant party sphere*

OrianDragon: “then every body starts to disco dancing”

MadManWithAnAxe: *but oddly enough, they’re disco dancing to hardcore rap done by a midget with down syndrome*

OrianDragon: “oh god we have to kill him says an one armed’ one eyed,onlegged man”

MadManWithAnAxe: for fuck’s sake, i thought he swore he would leave the poor pringles guy alone

OrianDragon: no make me

MadManWithAnAxe: *hums the opening guitars riffs from Kashmir*

OrianDragon: oh no its Bill Cosbey is behind you and he wants to sell you jello

MadManWithAnAxe: *backhands bill cosby*

OrianDragon: “still comes after you but this time asks what your favorite thing is”

MadManWithAnAxe: *smacks bill cosby then screams ”HEY HEY MAMA SAID THE WAY YOU MOVE GONNA MAKE YOU SWEAT GONNA MAKE YOU GROOVE” *plays air guitar*

OrianDragon: “then he brakes your air guitar then the starts stabing you with a butterknife”

MadManWithAnAxe: *cries uncrontrollaby*

OrianDragon: “then smacks you and says stop crying you little baby and stars to smack you uncontrollably ands starts to say who’s you daddy”

MadManWithAnAxe: *turns into a werewolf and screams ”give me waffles or give me death!!” then turns back into a person and looks around confused*

OrianDragon: “screams into your ear and says that you’re his son”

MadManWithAnAxe: *whistles the opening theme from 2001: a space oddysey while methodically biting toenails*

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#8520: Lord Of Evil Toast -> inuyasha01234567890

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Lord of Evil Toast: Hows it goin?

inuyasha01234567890: lol do i now u

Lord of Evil Toast: U thereDuh yeah

inuyasha01234567890: o ok

*** inuyasha01234567890 has added you to their contact list. You may choose to accept or deny this action. You may also add this user to your contact list or ignore this user.

*** You have been successfully added to inuyasha01234567890’s contact list.

Lord of Evil Toast: Damn….. I just swallowed a penny!

inuyasha01234567890: lol nice umm how do i now u

Lord of Evil Toast: Guess who I am.

inuyasha01234567890: umm idk

Lord of Evil Toast: Come on, think.

inuyasha01234567890: lol really don’t now

inuyasha01234567890: tell me

Lord of Evil Toast: It’s me!

Lord of Evil Toast: Bob bobison roberts.

inuyasha01234567890: oooooooo

Lord of Evil Toast: This one time I farted.

inuyasha01234567890: huh

inuyasha01234567890: lol

Lord of Evil Toast: Did u ever fart?

Lord of Evil Toast: It’s fun

Lord of Evil Toast: U still there?

inuyasha01234567890: yea i here

inuyasha01234567890: wait my mind fuzz right now what u lok like

inuyasha01234567890: tell me

inuyasha01234567890: tell me

Lord of Evil Toast: I look like a clown who lost my chicken. You are not a squirrel are u?

inuyasha01234567890: no not that i now of

inuyasha01234567890: tell the truth

inuyasha01234567890: i am really having trbole thinking right now

Lord of Evil Toast: Come on Mari you don’t know who this is?

inuyasha01234567890: my cuz or some one else

Lord of Evil Toast: I am a silly clown! beep beep!

inuyasha01234567890: what

inuyasha01234567890: omg ur confusing me more

Lord of Evil Toast: I r silly Clown, ya know.

Lord of Evil Toast: Dude do you have a bannana?

inuyasha01234567890: idk

inuyasha01234567890: god i am confused

Lord of Evil Toast: You are confused……. I am drunk.

inuyasha01234567890: who is thisb

inuyasha01234567890: plz tell me

inuyasha01234567890: i am every out of it

Lord of Evil Toast: Y are u drunk 2?

Lord of Evil Toast: I like drinkin gas.

inuyasha01234567890: is this my cuz krack head bob or soem one else

inuyasha01234567890: just tell me

Lord of Evil Toast: No, but it’s more funny if you don’t know.

inuyasha01234567890: GOT DAMN IT FUCKEN TELL ME

Lord of Evil Toast: I can’t benleve u havn’t figured out who I am.

Lord of Evil Toast: I figured u knew me better than that…….. I have feelings 2 dammit!

inuyasha01234567890: i am out of it ok srry

inuyasha01234567890: now plz tell me before i snap

Lord of Evil Toast: So how u doin?

inuyasha01234567890: i am fine i am ready to snap thjough

Lord of Evil Toast: Mrs. Daft is a bitch yo!

inuyasha01234567890: ok

inuyasha01234567890: that narrow it down soem

inuyasha01234567890: u in my 7th hour class

Lord of Evil Toast: So is mrs. Earli.

Lord of Evil Toast: Early*

Lord of Evil Toast: I could be.

Lord of Evil Toast: Man I got gass.

inuyasha01234567890: do u now jorri

Lord of Evil Toast: I know Elmo.

inuyasha01234567890: kol

inuyasha01234567890: add jorri lilmissjor0303

Lord of Evil Toast: k

Lord of Evil Toast: not now though

inuyasha01234567890: k

inuyasha01234567890: u haveing fun totering me

Lord of Evil Toast: Yes mam I am

inuyasha01234567890: u meany

Lord of Evil Toast: my butt is chafing.

inuyasha01234567890: kool

inuyasha01234567890: lol

Lord of Evil Toast: Don’t ya hate that? nothing worse than a dry itchy bum bum.

inuyasha01234567890: lol’

inuyasha01234567890: grrr waht class do i have with u

inuyasha01234567890: and how did u get my yahoo name

Lord of Evil Toast: I knew your yahoo name duh.

Lord of Evil Toast: I got it out of a phone book

inuyasha01234567890: yea right

inuyasha01234567890: waht class do i have with u

inuyasha01234567890: tell me this how many class

Lord of Evil Toast: Study hall and p.e.

Lord of Evil Toast: I know what you did last summer. lol

inuyasha01234567890: yea sure

Lord of Evil Toast: This one time, I ate 2 much skunk burgers I peuked! True story!

inuyasha01234567890: what grade u in

Lord of Evil Toast: Senior

inuyasha01234567890: u ait jeff cause u aint in my pe

Lord of Evil Toast: Duh.

inuyasha01234567890: then u aint in mrs daft casue there only 1 senior inthere

inuyasha01234567890: what p.e u in

inuyasha01234567890: jock or early

Lord of Evil Toast: Early. I like teletubbies!

Lord of Evil Toast: Well I gtg. But before I go, I have to tell you something.

inuyasha01234567890: what

Lord of Evil Toast: It’s kinda personal…… But ummmmm.

inuyasha01234567890: jsut fucken tell me and who THAT FUCK R U

inuyasha01234567890: the

inuyasha01234567890: *

inuyasha01234567890: FUCKEN TELL ME WHO THE FUCK U R

Lord of Evil Toast: Well here it is, kinda embarresing but…… YOU HAVE BEEN PRANK IMED BY MIDIAN. A friend helped me set you up. this will be added to the

Chat Logs, Prank IMs, Stupid IMs

#8519: Lord Of Evil Toast -> hellcells

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Lord Of Evil Toast: Hi.

hellcells: howdy

Lord Of Evil Toast: Whats up?

hellcells: not a damn thing just listening to some musak

Lord Of Evil Toast: I am making robot girlfriend.

hellcells: nice picture, a robot gf? y? get a real 1

Lord Of Evil Toast: Nope, real ones sleep around, and take half of your possesions.

hellcells: lmao, i hear ya on dat

Lord Of Evil Toast: What is more important personality or the boob size?

hellcells: dats a good question

hellcells: 4 me it depends, how tall is her?

Lord Of Evil Toast: Shit brb I gotta grab a capaciter for her interface system.

hellcells: lmao

Lord Of Evil Toast: Man this is hell, I am using latex prosthetics for the body.

Lord Of Evil Toast: But the tits are mis shaped.

hellcells: fix em, the tits have to b rite

Lord Of Evil Toast: And I don’t know if her ass hole is gonna be jiz resistant.

hellcells: lmao

hellcells: ur fucking funny

Lord Of Evil Toast: Very important, you don’t wanna be pumpin her ass and have the interior prosthetics rip, or she will end up loose.

Lord Of Evil Toast: And we can’t have that.

hellcells: yeap, no1 likes a loose hole

Lord Of Evil Toast: Exactly.

hellcells: lmao

Lord Of Evil Toast: I am gonna call her Donna 3.0, her bot system is already programed to say fuck me, harder a few moans and yeah give it to me.

hellcells: lmao, how about more big daddy can u make her say dat?

Lord Of Evil Toast: Yeah, I can make her say anything, it just takes time.

hellcells: nice

hellcells: i wanna make a gf now

hellcells: lmao

Lord Of Evil Toast: I have funding, it already costed my sponsors like $50.000 and some odd change.

hellcells: oh yeah?

Lord Of Evil Toast: Yep, and I am not even close to done.

hellcells: so ur making a real robot?

hellcells: i thought u met like online or something

Lord Of Evil Toast: Yep, I even get to test her (alot)!

hellcells: damn, dats sad

Lord Of Evil Toast: She feels pretty real, when I am done she will even have a self lubricating system, she will actually get wet.

hellcells: no way!

Lord Of Evil Toast: Yep, you will prolly have to fill her like once a month.

hellcells: full her? with?

Lord Of Evil Toast: some kinda lube.

Lord Of Evil Toast: I am gonna test her with ky jelly.

Lord Of Evil Toast: When I get to that point.

hellcells: heating ky jelly or reg?

hellcells: =))

Lord Of Evil Toast: What ever the user wants.

hellcells: oh i c

Lord Of Evil Toast: Well, I gotta go, gotta get some sleep, Later.

hellcells: peace out

hellcells: lie i bet ur gonna test ur gf

Lord Of Evil Toast: Nope not now.

Lord Of Evil Toast: see ya.

hellcells: sure, peace out

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#8518: Lord Of Evil Toast -> xwishforwingsxx

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Lord Of Evil Toast: Hey whats up?

xwishforwingsxx: Hey

Lord Of Evil Toast: What you up 2?

xwishforwingsxx: Not a whole lot

xwishforwingsxx: You?

Lord Of Evil Toast: Bored.

Lord Of Evil Toast: Hey guess what!

xwishforwingsxx: What

Lord Of Evil Toast: I am the lord of evil toast, isn’t that nice?

xwishforwingsxx: lol

xwishforwingsxx: Sure

Lord Of Evil Toast: I sit around in toast hell all day and command my undead toast minions. It’s fun.

Lord Of Evil Toast: Do you like evil toast?

xwishforwingsxx: I can’t tell it apart from regular toast

xwishforwingsxx: So I dunno

Lord Of Evil Toast: Evil toast is way better than regular toast, especially with evil butter, or evil jelly.

xwishforwingsxx: lol, ok

xwishforwingsxx: Well I don’t eat butter

Lord Of Evil Toast: Hey have you ever poopied?

xwishforwingsxx: ..?

Lord Of Evil Toast: Not even evil butter?

xwishforwingsxx: lol, nope

Lord Of Evil Toast: Nope, you never poopied or no you never eat evil butter?

xwishforwingsxx: Never eaten evil butter

Lord Of Evil Toast: So have you ever poopied?

xwishforwingsxx: uh.. sure

Lord Of Evil Toast: It’s fun aint it?

xwishforwingsxx: Not really.

Lord Of Evil Toast: It’s a feeling of accomplishment.

xwishforwingsxx: lol

Lord Of Evil Toast: I gotta do my evil dishes later, sux.

Lord Of Evil Toast: I hate, evil dishes.

Lord Of Evil Toast: You still there?

xwishforwingsxx: Yeah I’m here

Lord Of Evil Toast: You ever been in a potatoe sack race?

xwishforwingsxx: lol, yeah

Lord Of Evil Toast: Awesome aint it? Especially when you eat like 5 hits of acid.

xwishforwingsxx: uh, ok

Lord Of Evil Toast: I need to summon the powers of my evil toast minions, wanna help?

Lord Of Evil Toast: ??

xwishforwingsxx: lol, no thanks

Lord Of Evil Toast: Oh, okay, but you are missing out.

Lord Of Evil Toast: Hopscotch.

xwishforwingsxx: lol

Lord Of Evil Toast: I gots fly skills in hopscotch.

Lord Of Evil Toast: What kinda face do you make when you poopie?

xwishforwingsxx: …

xwishforwingsxx: Weird question

Lord Of Evil Toast: I bet your poopie face looks like this > X-(

xwishforwingsxx: lol

Lord Of Evil Toast: Hey I got an idea, say the first thing that comes to your head.

Lord Of Evil Toast: duh, type not say.

Lord Of Evil Toast: Come on it’s fun.

Lord Of Evil Toast: Hey did you know that paris hilton is a slut?? general evil toast told me that.

xwishforwingsxx: Yeah I knew that

Lord Of Evil Toast: Didn’t you call me a dingleberry 2 days ago?

xwishforwingsxx: Uhh.. nope?

Lord Of Evil Toast: Yeah, it was when I was on the toilet.

Lord Of Evil Toast: remember.

Lord Of Evil Toast: Toilet huh, funny word.

xwishforwingsxx: I didn’t call you a dignleberry

Lord Of Evil Toast: are you sure?

Lord Of Evil Toast: Can I call you Mom?

xwishforwingsxx: umm

xwishforwingsxx: Sure

Lord Of Evil Toast: You can call me a dingleberry if you wanna Mom.

Lord Of Evil Toast: How old are you?

xwishforwingsxx: 17.

Lord Of Evil Toast: lol, I am older than you Mom.

Lord Of Evil Toast: So do you wanna fly to Paris with me?

xwishforwingsxx: I don’t think so

Lord Of Evil Toast: Why, it will be fun.

Lord Of Evil Toast: Ha, I am not gonna go to Paris anyway.

xwishforwingsxx: lol, ok

Lord Of Evil Toast: Well I gotta go, Give me a kiss goodbye.

Lord Of Evil Toast: Come on 1 kiss for the road.

Lord Of Evil Toast: a virtual kiss.

xwishforwingsxx: lol

Lord Of Evil Toast: Is that a yes?

Lord Of Evil Toast: ??

Lord Of Evil Toast: I am virtually too ugly to get a virtual kiss aint I?

Lord Of Evil Toast: ??

Lord Of Evil Toast: Do you like midgets?

xwishforwingsxx: Sure

Lord Of Evil Toast: Cool, so how about my virtual goodbye kiss?

Lord Of Evil Toast: ??

Lord Of Evil Toast:

Lord Of Evil Toast: ?

Lord Of Evil Toast: ??

Lord Of Evil Toast: ?

Lord Of Evil Toast:

Lord Of Evil Toast: ??

Lord Of Evil Toast: Awwwwwwww! your not gonna give me a virtual goodbye kiss ru?

xwishforwingsxx: 😛

Lord Of Evil Toast: Quick tell me what color socks are you wearing.

xwishforwingsxx: They’re pink.

Lord Of Evil Toast: Yay, me too, oh wait no I am not.

xwishforwingsxx: lol

Lord Of Evil Toast: Well I love you mommy I gotta go.

xwishforwingsxx: ok

Lord Of Evil Toast: Bye Bye.

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#7888: Lumpy -> davepoobond: The PS3 Theory

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The PS3 Theory was a discussion through IM between Lumpy and davepoobond.

——————————–

Lumpy: hey… about PS3… there is something about it in my PSM

davepoobond: what does it say about it

Lumpy: 1000 times more powerful than PS2

davepoobond: wat tgeadkjf

davepoobond: is that all?

Lumpy: it didn’t go into much detail but PS6 or PS7 might have biotechnology

davepoobond: oh man that’ll be cool

Lumpy: yup

davepoobond: it could be like in that movie eXistenZ

davepoobond: have you seen it?

Lumpy: no.. all they have is a pic of a chip

davepoobond: i was talking about the movie

Lumpy: oh… didn’t see that other part

Lumpy: and no

davepoobond: o. its worth watching. its cool

davepoobond: they have this thing called a pod that makes you go into games

Lumpy: sounds like Reboot

davepoobond: no from real life. you plug it into your body a place called a bioport

Lumpy: ah

davepoobond: and you’re actually in the game. you feel and taste and smell and junk, and it hooks up to your spine

Lumpy: whoa

davepoobond: but that was actually inside a game in the movie

Lumpy: I figured

davepoobond: a game inside a game, meaning

davepoobond: it like that

davepoobond: the “actual” game system hooked up to your head i guess, and there was a pad on your hand, and it was in groups, where different people took different parts in the game

Lumpy: interesting

davepoobond: and everyone played the same game

davepoobond: you should rent it

Lumpy: haven’t had much time to rent things

davepoobond: is that all it says about the next ps systems?

Lumpy: yeah

Lumpy: still very much in development and won’t come out for a few years

davepoobond: 2005 i heard

davepoobond: on a forum board

davepoobond: but they’ll pry push it back

Lumpy: to get it right I hope

davepoobond: i think that it’ll be 400 bucks

davepoobond: ps6 and 7 will pry be 1k and more

Lumpy: we will see

davepoobond: wtf is 8 and 9 gonna be. i guess i know what 9 is gonna be like. that’d be funny if 8 attached to your brain by snorting it, and you can play a game at any time, by eating it

Lumpy: maybe

davepoobond: and regular foods had crappy games, and you could keep storing games

davepoobond: “mmh, potato ::eats:: ah man, not another space invaders game. this is a hundred years old”

Lumpy: lol

davepoobond: and if you eat something with food poisoning, you lose games

Lumpy: settle down

davepoobond: “::eats a mushroom:: omg! my final fantasy 23 got deleted! that’s a 600 dollar snort! NOOOOOOOOOOO!”

davepoobond: and you could make your own games, and when you were done with them, you could blow it out of your nose

Lumpy: or out of your ass

davepoobond: that’d be from developers

davepoobond: they’d feed crap to millions of people, and when they crapped it out, they’d sell it off

davepoobond: or have automatic crappers

davepoobond: because by then, who needs to actually crap when you can have something else crap FOR you

davepoobond: this is the future, COMON

Lumpy: future not here yet

davepoobond: well i’m talking about wat it’d be like

Lumpy: I doubt it will be like that

davepoobond: they’ll be so lazy they dont even have to go to the bathroom, they have something else go for them

davepoobond: yepppp

Lame Chat Rooms, Chat Logs

Bklynzballer97

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This entry is part 26 of 26 in the series Bklynzballer

OnlineHost: *** You are in “Bklynzballer97”. ***

HaVoKMaNiaC: yeh i was

HaVoKMaNiaC: i was the chinese kid dat was wondering around

HaVoKMaNiaC: lol

ILLbEyOUrSwEeTiE: lol

Bklynzballer: lol

HaVoKMaNiaC: whos davepoobond?

Bklynzballer: er…

Bklynzballer: i dunno

Bklynzballer: i juzt invited people her

Bklynzballer: e

HaVoKMaNiaC: hi dabond

HaVoKMaNiaC: who are u?

davepoobond: hi

HaVoKMaNiaC: wats ur name?

davepoobond: jus call me dabond

Bklynzballer: lol

HaVoKMaNiaC: not tag name

Bklynzballer: hes jason

Bklynzballer: my tag is….”CRUDE”

HaVoKMaNiaC: delacruz?

Bklynzballer: no

HaVoKMaNiaC: o i dont know then

Bklynzballer: wen i become a x-er…i will be….”CRUDEX”

davepoobond: the hell is an x-er?

Bklynzballer: lol

HaVoKMaNiaC: lol

HaVoKMaNiaC: do i know u jason?

davepoobond: hell if i know. i dont even know who you are

HaVoKMaNiaC: k da bond

Bklynzballer: da bond is gay

davepoobond: wuz your name

davepoobond: why am i gay?

Bklynzballer: just get out

HaVoKMaNiaC: im HaVoK

davepoobond: u invited me

HaVoKMaNiaC: lol

Bklynzballer: im….crudex

HaVoKMaNiaC: lol

davepoobond: idontgiveacrap

davepoobond: stupid crack head

Bklynzballer: and soon to be……blaze

davepoobond: wheeeeee

Bklynzballer: IM GOING TO IGNORE “DAVEPOOBOND”

davepoobond: k

OnlineHost: Bklynzballer has left the room.

davepoobond: what a loser

davepoobond: stupid crack head

ILLbEyOUrSwEeTiE: llalalalalalalalallalalalalalalalalallalalalalalalalalalalla

davepoobond: ok

OnlineHost: HaVoKMaNiaC has left the room.

OnlineHost: ILLbEyOUrSwEeTiE has left the room.

–

Eventually, he ignored everyone and we haven’t talked to him since

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#7652: Bklynzballer -> Holmes

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This entry is part 24 of 26 in the series Bklynzballer

This took place on July 25, 2001.

–

Bklynzballer: why are you suck a d*ck

Bklynzballer: tracy said she wants ure mom….IN BED!……

Holmes: i want your mom

Holmes: in bed

Holmes: shes hot

Bklynzballer: sure…

Bklynzballer: anytime..

Holmes: we’ll trade tommorow

Holmes: k?

Holmes: ben is going to kick your ass

Bklynzballer: sure he is..

Holmes: so is james

Bklynzballer: i fucked ihis ass all night

Holmes: hey: It’s adam and eve not adam and steve

Bklynzballer: thats right

Holmes: your nasty i bet you screwed a dog before too

Bklynzballer: thats right

Bklynzballer: and bens ass

Holmes: how about a half cat and half dog

Bklynzballer: yup

Bklynzballer: catdog

Holmes: which end did you screw

Bklynzballer: i made them staight

Holmes: did you screw the dog or did you screw the cat

Bklynzballer: both

Holmes: which one was first

Holmes: you man whore! i just found out your a nymphomaniac

Holmes: ha you don’t even know what that word means do you

Bklynzballer: thats rite

Holmes: it means your GAY, you hear me? G-A-Y

Holmes: YOUR MOTHER COULDN”T EVEN LOVE YOU, thats how gay you are