davepoobond: boo
stimpyismyname: what do you want
davepoobond: your mom in a bag
stimpyismyname: you cant use that
davepoobond: sure i can
davepoobond: why not
stimpyismyname: CAUSE YOURE A FAG
stimpyismyname: NO ONE LIKES A FAG
davepoobond: lots of people do
davepoobond: thats why there’s gay rights activists
stimpyismyname: oh yea, you
davepoobond: did you get that abbey robot song
stimpyismyname: piss off
davepoobond: so snappy today, arent we
stimpyismyname: hi butthole
davepoobond: hi
stimpyismyname: cal colin
davepoobond: h
davepoobond: y
stimpyismyname: what whaaa??
davepoobond: y?
stimpyismyname: cause
davepoobond: which
stimpyismyname: elmo
stimpyismyname: call until he picks up
davepoobond: and then what will i tell him
davepoobond: y dont u
stimpyismyname: then tell him to call me
davepoobond: i have THINGS to do
davepoobond: i’m a very busy man
stimpyismyname: yeah
stimpyismyname: busy making calls
stimpyismyname: NOW bitch
davepoobond: no
davepoobond: screw u and the mom you came out of
davepoobond: man i have so many dictionary submissions, i have enough of them for like at least a month maybe
davepoobond: and then i have 600 other words
Holmes: haha
Holmes: hey you never put scluckle 4 up!
davepoobond: i didnt?
davepoobond: oh yeah i probably didnt
Holmes: uh
davepoobond: lemme see if i have it
Holmes: k
davepoobond: eh i dont have it..
davepoobond: do u have it in ur filing cabinet?
Holmes: hmm
davepoobond: r u sure u wrote one?
davepoobond: the ones i have from u i havent put up yet are:
davepoobond: robot porn
davepoobond: The case of the missing X Box’s Box (yeah you heard right)
davepoobond: thats it
davepoobond: what was the last one u wrote about
Holmes: hmm
davepoobond: ep. 3 is the subway one
Holmes: herbal orgasmic shampoo i think
davepoobond: i meant scluckle
Holmes: no the last one had the verizon wireless guy in it
davepoobond: scluckle?
Holmes: yeah
davepoobond: oh damn i remember that
davepoobond: that was funny
davepoobond: you dont have it in your filing cabinet?
davepoobond: bleh, if i had it, it musta been lost in the move from the old computer to this one
Holmes: i think i have it on my computer
Holmes: byt for some reason i can’t access my desktop
Holmes: it froze
davepoobond: heh
davepoobond: well i’m putting up the herbal orgasmic and twiggs commercials up now
Holmes: shit
Holmes: shit shit shit
Holmes: i think i lost it
davepoobond: damn
davepoobond: sorry, i mighta actually forgotten to just put it onto my document file
Holmes: the only things i have are the robot porn
Holmes: and the xbox’s box
davepoobond: same with me
Holmes: what the fuck i never deleted it!
davepoobond: heh it seems like it just disappeared
Holmes: maybe the goverment took it
Holmes: O.o
davepoobond: maybe when you wrote it, we went backwards in time, and then it seemed like we read it, and it seemed like it was in existence
davepoobond: but it really wasn’t, because it hadn’t been written yet
Holmes: wow
davepoobond: ?
Holmes: your on crack
davepoobond: lol
davepoobond: i knew there was a little something funny in that halloween candy today
Holmes: yeah…did your mom check it before you ate it?
davepoobond: no. my mom didnt even want me to GO trick or treating
davepoobond: cuz i’m “too old”
Holmes: !!!!!!
Holmes: i went trick or treating!
davepoobond: lol
Holmes: in my work clothes
Holmes: at work
davepoobond: did u get a lot of “ur too old” bs
Holmes: and got paid for it
Holmes: i got that the year before
Holmes: when i did go trick or treating
davepoobond: i was a box
Holmes: heh
davepoobond: like a box the size of a mattress
davepoobond: with arm holes and a hole for my head
davepoobond: and then a paper bag on my head
Holmes: you should just run into people
davepoobond: people started calling me sponge bob
davepoobond: it pissed me off
Holmes: lol
Holmes: smack em with your box
davepoobond: the paper bag had a unibrow
Holmes: a box slap
davepoobond: and it was crying blood
davepoobond: some stupid shit heads kicked me and punched me around a little bit though
Holmes: lol
davepoobond: if there’s some white stuff on MnMs is that bad?
Holmes: ….
Holmes: theres only one explanation for white stuff on M&M’s
Holmes: lets just say someone might be a little attracted to the red and yellow eminem commercials
Holmes: lol i said eminem
Holmes: M7M
Holmes: m&m
davepoobond: heh
davepoobond: but its powderey
Holmes: =-O
Holmes: snort it
Holmes: if it gives you a good feelings it’s coke
davepoobond: nah, i tossed it
Holmes: if you die it’s anthrax
Holmes: ok
davepoobond: i dont do that shit
Holmes: heh niether do i
davepoobond: its back to the lab again yo
Holmes: word
davepoobond: where’s my snare?
Holmes: up your ass
Holmes: so loose yourself
davepoobond: i’m sorry mama
davepoobond: i never meant to hurt you
davepoobond: i never meant to make you cry but tonight, i’m cleaning out my closetttt
Holmes: sometimes it feels like the world’s on my shoulders
Holmes: everyones leanin on meeeeeeeeeee
davepoobond: daddy what are you doing
Holmes: i sit back with this pack of zig zags and this bag of this weed which gives me the shit needed to be the most meanest MC
davepoobond: i think my dad’s gon craaaazeh
Holmes: hehe
Holmes: till the roof comes up till the sun goes down i’m gonna rip this shit till my bones break out
Holmes: ok i’m going to attempt to drown myself…you can try this at home….you can be just like me
FroggyStyle: ignorance is bliss.
davepoobond: yeah..
stimpyismyname: did you play gta this whole time
davepoobond: no
davepoobond: watched tv
stimpyismyname: transformers?
stimpyismyname: yep
Auto response from davepoobond: I am away from my computer right now.
davepoobond: yeah transformers is awesome
davepoobond: but doesnt make any sense
davepoobond: and the kids are really annoying
davepoobond: the most interesting part though
davepoobond: is the credits
stimpyismyname: i dint watch it actually
stimpyismyname: so dont spoil it
stimpyismyname: boitch
davepoobond: cuz the transformers just transform and junk
davepoobond: showing you what they can do and stuff
stimpyismyname: nooo!
davepoobond: to entertain you through the credits
stimpyismyname: shut up!!!
stimpyismyname: lalalalalalaa
stimpyismyname: alalalalalalalala
davepoobond: dude! pokemon is on at 9!
davepoobond: first season
davepoobond: whoowhoo
stimpyismyname: ?
davepoobond: and then yu-gi-oh at 9:30
stimpyismyname: the whole 1st season?
davepoobond: no, the beginning
stimpyismyname: in half an hour?
stimpyismyname: whoa
davepoobond: one episode a day
stimpyismyname: it must be a clip show
davepoobond: right
stimpyismyname: all of them in 30 min
stimpyismyname: vines have a song called 1969
stimpyismyname: little fags
davepoobond: lol ok
davepoobond: raffi is gay
fartsinajar: i wasnt aware
davepoobond: well it shoulda been obvious
fartsinajar: i guess
Materials: bottle, somewhere to sit
# of players: 2 or more
What you do:
1. Everybody sits down
2. Get an empty bottle and throw it at someone, slamming it on the floor before hitting on them
3. If you want, fill the bottle with powdered sugar, so if it explodes, it makes a big “explosion” and get all over everything
Boundaries: the area in which you are sitting, no farther than either player’s arm spans.
I found a 1944-D penny.
And I got a Canadian 1986 nickel as a late birthday present.
1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is
www.whorepresents.com
2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at
www.expertsexchange.com
3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
www.penisland.net
4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
www.therapistfinder.com
5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company…
www.powergenitalia.com
6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:
www.molestationnursery.com
7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always
www.ipanywhere.com
8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is
www.cummingfirst.com
9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website:
www.speedofart.com
10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at
www.gotahoe.com
Narrator: Our scene is in a stinky high school in poopooville. The students are fucking with fear. Listen, as our heroine, Man With Boobs, speaks to Girl With No Hair.
Man With Boobs: The High School Monster has eaten three more pretty young poops and boiled the poop teacher.
Girl With No Hair: Don’t be afraid, doggy. I think the monster is really just a crap.
Man With Boobs: But UndieMan saw it. It has 65 arms and long poo-like hair and pee-yellow teeth.
Girl With No Hair: Hmm. That sounds like me.
Man With Boobs: When I go out I walk very fast.
Girl With No Hair: I am going to set a trap for this so-called monster. And you must be the crappy bait.
Man With Boobs: Oh no! Do I look moo? Get some other poopoo.
Once there was a little kid who went on a poo-filled hike through a pee-filled forest in the middle of the bathroom.
At first he had fun watching the cute little bears go pooing through the trees and talking to the peas that dodged between the bushes.
Then it begun to get yellow and soon it was night and this kid whose name was SSR Guy realized he was lost and he got very frightened.
His boobs began to chatter and he wished he were home, with his daddy and Power Ranger toys.
Suddenly he noticed that the huge trees began to look like men in tights, and they seemed to reach out their platypuses to grab him.
Then he saw a weird shape floating in the air and glowing like pee.
It made a scary noise and said, “I am the spirit of the last of the SSRs. I am lonely haunting the forest alone and I came to find some fart to help me.”
Then it went squeak and the kid said sqwaw and that was the last anyone ever heard of him.
Boo!
davepoobond and SSR Guy filled this MadLibs in.
–
If you go to some run-down place like Yellowstone National Elephant, you must know how to deal with the wild animals such as bears and wolves and galloping pieces of poop.
There are 3 kinds of bears, the grizzly bear, the pie-like bear and the smelly bear. Bears spend most of their time pooing or farting.
They look very smelly pie-like, but if you make them crappy, they may bite your platypus.
Bears will come up to your car and beg for grapes. They will stand on their hind legs and clap their gophers and pretend to be elephant-like.
But don’t get out of your poop mobile or offer the bears any pies or onions.
This same advice applies to other wild creatures such as poopoo and more poopoo.
Remember all these rules and you will spend your vacation farting and not get eating by a crrrap.
–
davepoobond filled in this one by himself:
–
If you go to some gay place like Yellowstone National Pussy, you must know how to deal with wild animals such as bears and wolves and panties. The most important of these is the bear. There are three kinds of bears: the grizzly bear, the lesbian bear, and the horny bear. Bears spend most of their time sexing or fucking. They look very gay but if you make them ugly, they may bite your pussy. Bears will come up to your car and beg for fruits. They will stand on their hind legs and clap their bears together and pretend to be ugly. But do not get out of your X-33 or offer bears apples or veggies. This same advice applies to other wild creatures such as fish and dogs. Remember all these rules and you will spend your vacation slowly and not get eaten by a ninja.
Flipper has been a household man ever since he made his poo-like debut on television in the marijuana-filled 1960s.
Boys, girls, even poopoos to this day fall in love with this smelly dolphin the minute they lay their legs on him.
After all, who can resist a dolphin that makes you poo out loud as he leaps 13 feet into the poo and catches a gas with his butts?
When Flipper lets out a loud fart, you just know he’s farting to prove beyond a shadow of a fart that dolphins are among the smartest farts in the ocean.
For those campers who have a cold or poison poo, and are forced to stay in their toilet for the day, here is a list of TV crap you can watch.
– – – –
7 A.M.: The Fucking Early News. With PooPoo McGoo as the anchor prostitute and Marilyn Manson giving the weather. Special report on retirement home for old hos and teenage creaming
– – – –
10 A.M.: The Charles Manson $50,000 Invitational Pro-Am Man Killing Tournament. Held at the famous Alley Club in Rhode Island
– – – –
11 A.M.: The only movie today is “Rambo Breaks His Ass,” and it stars me as Rambo’s father and you as his ho. In this picture, Rambo kills everyone in his ass.
– – – –
2 P.M.: Documentary about fucked up animals living on the African ass. A study of lions, tigers, and turds. Should be viewed carefully.