BUSINESSMAN: “I hate gin and vermouth.”
SECRETARY: “Then why do you have twelve martinis for lunch every day?”
BUSINESSMAN: “I can’t help myself. I love olives.”
All posts by davepoobond
Joke #12549
Contrary to popular belief, youngsters do know the value of a dollar today …two candy bars and a comic book.
Joke #12548
With food prices and inflation sky high, I don’t know which is emptier — my wallet or my refrigerator.
Joke #12547
These days the only thing harder to keep than a secret is money.
Joke #12546
The only people who get rich addressing envelopes are bill collectors.
Joke #12544
CONSUMER: “The latest thing is a store that’s a combination butcher shop and health spa.”
MAN: “You can’t be serious.”
CONSUMER: “But I am. If you go into the store, you have to join the spa before the butcher will trim the fat off your meat.”
Joke #12543
American money is really inflated. Yesterday I opened my wallet and watched helplessly as a twenty-dollar bill floated off into the sky.
Joke #12542
These days people care more about the environment’s health than they do about their own. In most states cars aren’t allowed to smoke, but people are.
Joke #12541
OVERHEARD: “Last Christmas I gave her something worth 25 dollars — a fifty-dollar bill.”
Joke #12540
Last week I finally stopped worrying if a computer would replace me on the job. I was fired.
Joke #12539
There is one sure-fire way to save money these days — borrow it and then forget who loaned it to you.
Joke #12538
Now I finally know what’s meant by the energy squeeze. Last week I joined a car pool and six of us drove to work in a Volkswagen.
Joke #12537
I wish they could invent a computer that would do my job for me. I’m tired of standing in that unemployment line.
Joke #12536
I.R.S. AGENT: “Mr. Smith, you’ve been claiming your mother as a tax exemption for five years, and she’s been deceased for five years. What is your explanation?”
SMITH: “Well, you see, sir, my mother is still very much alive in my heart.”
Joke #12535
With inflation, wars and high prices, it’s not easy being a young American, because you’re not old enough to remember the good old days.