Q: Why are writers the strangest creatures in the world?
A: Because their tales come out of their heads.
All posts by davepoobond
Joke #12774
A movie star returned to his boyhood home for the first time since he became famous. “I guess everyone around here talks a lot about me,” the star said to the mayor.
“That’s right,” agreed the mayor. “You’re so famous we even put a sign in front of your old house.”
The movie star beamed. “Really?” he exclaimed. “What does the sign say?”
Smiling broadly, the mayor replied, “It says Stop!”
Joke #12773
Q: Did you hear about the lady who was proud to call herself a housewife?
A: She was married to Matthew J. House, a wealthy businessman.
Joke #12772
BUTCHER TO SOCIALITE: “Lady, believe me, there is no such thing as a pedigreed hotdog.”
Joke #12771
BACHELOR: “Listen, baby, you’ve got to admit that guys like me don’t grow on trees.”
GIRL: “No, they swing from them!”
Joke #5264
COACH: “Kronsky, you’re overweight. You spend too much time at the dinner table.”
PLAYER: “Coach, it’s not the minutes I spend at the table that puts all of this weight on me. It’s the seconds.
Ratings Ratings Ratings!
I’ve been doing some tinkering with the ratings stuff on the site. You might have noticed that the “Heart or Hate” has become Squackle’s personal “like or dislike” motif. Each post has the custom images of the <3 or H8 that I made and based off my “davepoobond’s font” that I made a long time ago.
I also have added a comments rating plugin to the web site, so not only can you rate posts (HINT HINT) you can rate comments!
Loads of fun for all.
I’ll probably be posting comments now and in the future just to add more allure to the “I want to read comments on posts now” sort of thinking. At least, in my head…so I’m thinking that you are thinking you want to think about clicking a link so you can think about something someone said and think about clicking an eventual Heart or Hate thing.
Ain’t that cool?????????
Joke #12743
My husband is killing himself trying to keep up with the Joneses. They’re joggers.
Joke #12742
Leopard hunters are men who love to see spots before their eyes.
Joke #12741
Girls, never date F.B.I. agents. Not only do they want your name and number, but also your fingerprints.
Joke #12740
My neighbors think they’re big deals just because they have a marble table top. How they had the patience to glue together all those marbles I’ll never know.
Joke #12739
JUDY: “My boyfriend is a leader of men.”
KATE: “You’re lucky. Mine is a follower of women.”
Joke #12738
“My last boyfriend was so conceited, one night he got down on his knees and proposed.”
“What’s so conceited about that?”
“He proposed to himself!”
The Real Difference Between Young and Old
As every minute passes, we all grow older. But people say that you’re only as old as you feel. So what is the real difference between young and old? It’s not the years. It’s how you look at life:
– When he’s young, a man can’t wait to grow a beard… but when he gets old, the same man just hates to shave every day.
– When she’s young, a girl loves to fix meals… but when she becomes an old married lady, the thing she hates the most is fixing breakfast, lunch, and dinner for her family every day.
– When he’s young, a man enjoys watching girls… but when he gets old, the same man prefers watching the market.
– When she’s young, a girl loves to make herself look older by putting a gray streak in her hair… but when she gets old and finds a real gray streak in her hair, she cries her eyes out.
Joke #12736
I finally found a way to get back at my postman for slow service. I mailed him his Christmas gift.