Gross-Out Top 5 Lists

Always…

1) Look both ways before crossing the street. (Road kill should always be small animals.)

2) Eat your cereal before it gets soggy. (Gag me with the spoon.)

3) Drink your milk before it gets hot. (Barf, anyone?)

4) Clean those crusty things out of your eyes before you try to walk around in the morning.

5) Give your teacher an apple; just check for worm holes and rotten parts.

Never…

1) Eat greasy food before going on a roller coaster. (Sometimes what goes down does come up.)

2) Pick your nose and park it on the bedpost. (Who wants to see that later?)

3) Have Doritos before going on anything resembling a date. (Breath with a bad attitude.)

4) Drink anything anybody hands you. (Lugey alert!)

5) Wet the bed if you’re on the top bunk.

 

Joke #9229

A chemistry teacher wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms. “Now, class. Observe the worms closely,” said the teacher putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.

The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and we derive from this experiment?” the teacher asked. Johnny, who naturally sits at the back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, “Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms.”