O Christmas Tree, Santa Baby, Here Comes Santa Claus, White Christmas, the list goes on. How many songs have we heard a million times? How many versions of the same songs must we choke down?
A horrendous onslaught of holiday music is upon us every time we get into the months of November and December, as Christmas, the month-long holiday is the time we love to be tortured by it.
Not only do we have to buy buy buy, but we have to listen to millionaire corporate slaves sing yet another version of that “Do You Know What I Know” song that takes forever to listen to. We’re already tossing hordes of cash out the windows into the pockets of companies in the RIAA — couldn’t they possibly hire some fuckers to write some new songs? Isn’t 300 versions of each Christmas song from each new generation of singers enough?
Oh goody, DJ Whatshisface made a remix of Joy to the World and DJ Megaloser made O Christmas Tree v. Santa Baby. Or let’s have Britney Spears sing the 12 Days of Christmas — that’s new and exciting!
What is even more annoying is that each time the song is remade, the singer adds their own little “flair” to it, so you would remember that in BigBoobedMovieStarNowASinger said “Yeayyeeyeahheeyaa!” at the end of each sentence in the song. It’s crap!
Sometimes bands make new Christmas songs, I’m sure, so why can’t we just stop dragging on those same fucking songs we have to listen to over and over? They’re so fucking old! Fuck them all! And where are the Thanksgiving songs?! I want to hear songs about how we screwed the Native Americans and killed turkeys!