Jingle Bells Song #21904

Jingle Bells
Santa smells
Easter’s on its way
Oh what fun it is to ride
In a beat up Chevrolet!

(Repeat x1)

Dashing down the road
In a beat up Chevrolet
Down the street we go
Gasping all the way

Horns on traffic go
Engine smoking thick
What fun it is to drive and make
People get real sick, oooooh

(Chorus x2)

Now my time’s not right
What a real sad sight
Motor’s blown some oil
Making my blood boil

Rods and pistons gone
What a horrible funk
Because I owe JD Byrider
Five grand for this piece of junk…oooooh

(Chorus x1)

Jingle Bells
Byrider smells
Creditors on their way
Because I owe $5000 bucks
On this beat up Chevrolet!!!

 

If You’re Happy And You Know It, Bomb Iraq

Parody of “If You’re Happy and You Know It.”

If You’re Happy And You Know It – Bomb Iraq
If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are frisky,
Pakistan is looking shifty,
North Korea is too risky,
Bomb Iraq.

If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think that someone’s dissed us, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections,
Let’s look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions,
Bomb Iraq.

It’s pre-emptive non-aggression, bomb Iraq.
To prevent this mass destruction, bomb Iraq.
They’ve got weapons we can’t see,
And that’s all the proof we need,
If they’re not there, they must be,
Bomb Iraq.

If you never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.
If you think Saddam’s gone mad,
With the weapons that he had,
And he tried to kill your dad,
Bomb Iraq.

If corporate fraud is growin’, bomb Iraq.
If your ties to it are showin’, bomb Iraq.
If your politics are sleazy,
And hiding that ain’t easy,
And your manhood’s getting queasy,
Bomb Iraq.

If your economy’s in repression, Bomb Iraq
If you fear a great depression, bomb Iraq
If you want lotsa oil,
Land on a countries soil,
Put the world in turmoil,
Bomb Iraq

Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq.
For our might knows not our borders, bomb Iraq.
Disagree? We’ll call it treason,
Let’s make war not love this season,
Even if we have no reason,
Bomb Iraq

 

10 Characteristics of the Company Car

– Accelerates at a phenomenal rate.

– Has a much shorter braking distance than the private car.

– Can take speed humps at twice the speed of private cars.

– The battery, radiator water, oil and tires never have to be checked.

– It can be driven up to 60 miles with the oil warning light flashing.

– It needs cleaning less often than private cars.

– The suspension is reinforced to allow for the weekend loads of bricks, concrete slabs and other building material.

– Unusual and alarming engine noises are easily eliminated by turning up the radio.

– It needs no security system and may be left anywhere, unlocked and with the keys in the ignition.

– It is especially sand and waterproof for barbecues and fishing expeditions on remote beaches.