Tags: monkey

Jingle bells!

Monkey-butts smell!

Squirrels don’t lay eggs!

I know stuff and you dont so go the fuck away!

HEY!

Tags: monkey, squirrel

Tagged People: happy the otter

A monkey when pouring my tea

asked “do you fart when you pee?”

i replied with some wit

“do you burp when you shit?”

and i think that was one up to me

Tags: fart, monkey, pee, shit

Sometimes people find Squackle with odd or funny search terms.  They’re so funny or weird sometimes, that I feel like I need to share it with the world.  Not saying that there isn’t a lot of weird shit on this site, but there are times where I just don’t expect certain search terms to actually lead to Squackle.  Also, I wouldn’t mind being the number one search for “what sound does a beaver make.”

Here’s a list of the exceedingly funny search terms as I see them, newest on top:

-

backpack that looks like a little boy from the waist down

mom fucks barney the dinosaur

what is a good website for robot porn

girl fucking a guy while talking on the phone with her boyfriend

you dont need a boyfriend to have sex

pure uncut heroin

chumlee shemale having sex with a girls manga

neighbors hate us because i married a felon

i want to cum in katy perrys mouth

molested pinball

real free gay porn by email

Football players asses

white guy saying fucking rice to every mustang that passes by

child molesting manatee

teens using tampons with whiskey

tall girls are racist

girl pump fart

can you fuck a vacuum

masturbate bicycle

monkey pooping on a car window

chat with someone horny site

seeing tv reporters panties

what cream for ass

what sound does a beaver make

degrassi has muslims in the show

ass-hole kingdom

filthiest way of saying butthole

woman doing toilet with lion

why da fuck people always getting shot in degrassi

katy perry penis face

girl puts 4 tennis balls in her ass

college fuck festival

subway sandwich girl sucking cock

Tags: ass, bicycle, fart, grass, monkey, muslim, poop, sex, Squackle, vacuum

Tagged People: Google, Katy Perry

“monkeys dont eat seeds at noon.”

- nobby

Tags: monkey, seed

Tagged People: nobby

Q: What happened the last time a black person looked up his family tree?

A: A monkey shit in his face.

Tags: black, family, monkey, tree

Tagged People: godhatesblacksandsodoessatan

A song a about two monkeys,

sitting on a branch,

picking each others backs

and making weied monkey sounds all day..

and slit the other ones throat

and made its fur into a fur coat

and sold it onto Ebay

Tags: monkey

Tagged People: Izumo Etsuko

Q: What’s the difference between a King’s son, a monkey’s mother, a bald head, and an orphan?

A: One’s an heir apparent, the next is a hairy parent, the next has no hair apparent, and the last has nary a parent.

Tags: hair, head, king, monkey, mother

It’s that time of the year — the days are getting longer and the weather’s warming up. That means only one thing: time to call in sick.

Here are some actual, road-tested excuses collected in a survey from the job site careerbuilder.com

* I forgot to come back to work after lunch.
* I hurt myself bowling.
* I was spit on by a venomous snake.
* I had to be there for my husband’s grand jury trial.
* My monkey died.

Tags: bowling, husband, lunch, monkey, snake, weather

Upon returning from a field trip to the zoo, the principal asked Miss Dickinson how she enjoyed the outing.

“Oh, it was horrible,” said Miss Dickinson.  “The snakes stuck their tongues out and the monkeys kept making faces.”

“Well, you know what they say,” replied the principal.  “Boas will be boas, and gorillas will be gorillas.”

Tags: boy, girl, gorilla, monkey, school, snake, teacher, tongue, zoo

shrimpanzee – n. a monkey that was genetically spiced with a shrimp.  Has the skills of swimming underwater for lengthy amounts of time, and throwing poop through water with nearly no water resistance.

Tags: monkey, noun, poop, shrimp, shrimpanzee, water

Q: What would get if you crossed a minnow with a monkey?

A: A shrimpanzee.

Tags: fish, monkey, shrimpanzee

Q: Who is the superhero of the jungle?

A: Spidermonkey!

Tags: jungle, monkey, spider, super hero

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Tags: bird, brother, head, homework, keyboard, monkey, zoo

“monkey see, monkey do. Monkey don’t see, monkey don’t do”

- davepoobond

Tags: A DPB Tag, monkey

Tagged People: davepoobond