daknuj – v. to bleach money
chufalo – n. one who ‘chuffles’ semen in their mouth for money.
Ex. If your mom wasn’t a Chuffalo, you wouldnt have a house! I dont particulary like the company of mexicans.
cappstain – adj. to have more money than God
boss – n. also known as asshole <see asshole>
; somebody that gets paid way more than you, for the work that you perform, while he does nothing.
blistibex – v. to steal $20.75 from your grandma
Bedrock Buck – n. the money used in the Flintstones
bartenders – n. people that make way too much money. People that make way more than they deserve. People that make most of their money from tips, but they don’t tip.
auucac – v. to burn a fortune in $10,000 bills
davepoobond: e-surance – n. online insurance, insuring your internet access
Phoenix: …. scary
davepoobond: we should open that
davepoobond: we’d make millions of dollars
Phoenix: ….your probably right
davepoobond: oh yaaaaa
davepoobond: there was this really stupid fundraiser thing yesterday
davepoobond: i came in when they had 2 minutes to donate stuff
davepoobond: to send some kids to camp
davepoobond: “comon these kids need to get sent to camp” “1 week of their LIVES” (they ended up sending 11, out of who knows how many)
davepoobond: and they raised like 7000 dollars
davepoobond: it was messed up
davepoobond: and the 7-11 franchisees corporation and franchisees gave them half a million dollars
davepoobond: and all they said “thanks, thanks so much” and then he turned to the camera
davepoobond: and then he said something, i dont know what it was cuz i was laughing too hard
Holmes: 7-11…screwing people 7 hours a day, 11 days of the week
davepoobond: and then this pregnant black jewish woman does some stand-up
davepoobond: she’s a “convert”
Holmes: pregnant black jewish woman?
davepoobond: LOL ya
davepoobond: she was ok, but she was really dumb
davepoobond: and most of her jokes werent even laughed at
davepoobond: as soon as she comes up, shes like “oh, i give a new meaning to labor day, dont i”
davepoobond: and all she did was talk about her in-laws and her husband
Holmes: it’s like “say what you are” and she says “I’m a pregnant black jewish woman” and the whole audience laughs
Holmes: then she makes jokes and no one laughs
davepoobond: i mean, she’s like 9 months pregnant, she could’ve broke water AS she was doing it
davepoobond: that woulda been great to see
davepoobond: “you know, Jewish people can’t whisper -” SPRAYYYYYYYYYY
Holmes: “MY WATER BROKE”
Holmes: “I NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION”
AUDIENCE: “HAHAHAHHA SHE’S PREGANT HAHAHAHHA”
davepoobond: do u know what MDA is
davepoobond: besides a drug
davepoobond: yeah that was the foundation
davepoobond: that was hosting it or whatever
davepoobond: i think ed macmahon was there
davepoobond: it was such crap
davepoobond: it was like 4 hours long
davepoobond: and they raised 10 million half-way
davepoobond: (i bet it was just inflated though)
davepoobond: they just add 9.9 million here and there
davepoobond: to get people to call
davepoobond: cuz “others are”
Fun fact: Later on, the bookstore davepoobond works at during college did a fundraiser for the same association to send kids to camp. The association is called the Muscular Dystrophy Association 😛
::Lady comes over to davepoobond’s register::
Lady: You can do returns here, right?
Lady: Ok, well I want to return these 2 Scantrons and buy the folder.
davepoobond: Do you have a receipt?
davepoobond: Sorry, I need one to do it, its so easy to just pick them up off the shelve and just —
Lady: Oh no, I PAID for those… I had them for a long time.
davepoobond: I know, but I still need a receipt.
Lady: Ok, fine, I’ll just have to talk to a manager about it then, just that one up.
davepoobond: 74 cents.
Lady: FORGET IT! I’M NOT PAYING MORE THAN I SHOULD!
So the fucking lady gets upset over the 40 cents for Scantrons she didn’t get money back for, and goes over to the Customer Service desk. It’ll be hilarious if I lose my job over something like that.
Why does someone ever want to return things like that without a receipt? Its fucking 75 cents for the God damn folder, and keep the Scantrons, you dumbass, they’re only 40 cents. You probably have more change in that fucking purse than you’ll ever use, what good is more gonna do?
|Monday 02/21/2005 6:42:00am|
|Name:||us and tisme|
|Homepage:||http://i think i left it on the bus|
|E-Mail:||did u forget…?|
|I like to||daut my mate… REPEATEDLY!!!
p.s. who made up “DAUT”???… leah wnts to meet you! and daut you… again and again and again and again…etc… i cant be assed.
|I like Squackle!:||Yes|
|Comments:||we tried, we promise, to add bobolishious and DAVE but it didnt work… TWICE (i like caps lock) 😀
DAVE means: a child that has no choice.
AND, bobolishious is: a killer of DAVES.
p.s. we also tried to add park’n’ride (what you say to a hickolishious car)… but you let thaat fail as well… we are upset and want your money…NOW…not n0w, but NOW… comprenday?… good.
p.s.e-mail us on email@example.com so that we can hear from you… Ta!!!
|Sunday 10/19/2003 6:42:12pm|
|Name:||DER SEHR GUT SOUP NAZI|
|I like to||MAKE SOUP
NOT GIVE PEOPLE SOUP
TELL PEOPLE THAT THEY ARE NOT ARIAN
HIT THINGS WITH TWIGS
I NEED MONIES TO SAVE MY BRAIN! SAVE ME! I NEED PERSCRIPTION WITH WAFFLE IN EM! AH HAHA HAAAH AAAAH HAA AHHH! A!
|I like Squackle!:||Yes|