#6493: davepoobond -> Holmes

davepoobond: there was this really stupid fundraiser thing yesterday

davepoobond: i came in when they had 2 minutes to donate stuff

davepoobond: to send some kids to camp

davepoobond: “comon these kids need to get sent to camp” “1 week of their LIVES” (they ended up sending 11, out of who knows how many)

davepoobond: and they raised like 7000 dollars

Holmes: hah

davepoobond: it was messed up

davepoobond: and the 7-11 franchisees corporation and franchisees gave them half a million dollars

Holmes: wow

davepoobond: and all they said “thanks, thanks so much” and then he turned to the camera

davepoobond: and then he said something, i dont know what it was cuz i was laughing too hard

Holmes: 7-11…screwing people 7 hours a day, 11 days of the week

davepoobond: and then this pregnant black jewish woman does some stand-up

Holmes: LMAO

davepoobond: she’s a “convert”

Holmes: pregnant black jewish woman?

davepoobond: LOL ya

Holmes: LDKMKLNSLMAO

davepoobond: she was ok, but she was really dumb

davepoobond: and most of her jokes werent even laughed at

davepoobond: as soon as she comes up, shes like “oh, i give a new meaning to labor day, dont i”

davepoobond: and all she did was talk about her in-laws and her husband

Holmes: it’s like “say what you are” and she says “I’m a pregnant black jewish woman” and the whole audience laughs

Holmes: then she makes jokes and no one laughs

davepoobond: i mean, she’s like 9 months pregnant, she could’ve broke water AS she was doing it

Holmes: yeah

davepoobond: that woulda been great to see

davepoobond: “you know, Jewish people can’t whisper -” SPRAYYYYYYYYYY

Holmes: “MY WATER BROKE”

Audience: “HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA”

Holmes: “I NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION”

AUDIENCE: “HAHAHAHHA SHE’S PREGANT HAHAHAHHA”

davepoobond: do u know what MDA is

davepoobond: lolll

Holmes: mda?

davepoobond: besides a drug

Holmes: nop

davepoobond: yeah that was the foundation

davepoobond: that was hosting it or whatever

davepoobond: i think ed macmahon was there

Holmes: oh

davepoobond: it was such crap

davepoobond: it was like 4 hours long

davepoobond: and they raised 10 million half-way

Holmes: wow

davepoobond: (i bet it was just inflated though)

davepoobond: they just add 9.9 million here and there

davepoobond: to get people to call

davepoobond: cuz “others are”

Holmes: hehe

Holmes: lmao

———————–

Fun fact: Later on, the bookstore davepoobond works at during college did a fundraiser for the same association to send kids to camp. The association is called the Muscular Dystrophy Association 😛

 

Quote #20805: Stupid Story About Scantrons

This entry is part 14 of 26 in the series The Retail Report

::Lady comes over to davepoobond’s register::

Lady: You can do returns here, right?

davepoobond: Sure.

Lady: Ok, well I want to return these 2 Scantrons and buy the folder.

davepoobond: Do you have a receipt?

Lady: No…

davepoobond: Sorry, I need one to do it, its so easy to just pick them up off the shelve and just —

Lady: Oh no, I PAID for those… I had them for a long time.

davepoobond: I know, but I still need a receipt.

Lady: Ok, fine, I’ll just have to talk to a manager about it then, just that one up.

davepoobond: 74 cents.

Lady: FORGET IT!  I’M NOT PAYING MORE THAN I SHOULD!

So the fucking lady gets upset over the 40 cents for Scantrons she didn’t get money back for, and goes over to the Customer Service desk.  It’ll be hilarious if I lose my job over something like that.

Why does someone ever want to return things like that without a receipt?  Its fucking 75 cents for the God damn folder, and keep the Scantrons, you dumbass, they’re only 40 cents.  You probably have more change in that fucking purse than you’ll ever use, what good is more gonna do?

 

Squackle Guestbook #20661

Monday 02/21/2005 6:42:00am
Name: us and tisme
Homepage: http://i think i left it on the bus
E-Mail: did u forget…?
I like to daut my mate… REPEATEDLY!!!
p.s. who made up “DAUT”???… leah wnts to meet you! and daut you… again and again and again and again…etc… i cant be assed.
I like Squackle!: Yes
Comments: we tried, we promise, to add bobolishious and DAVE but it didnt work… TWICE (i like caps lock) 😀
DAVE means: a child that has no choice.
AND, bobolishious is: a killer of DAVES.
p.s. we also tried to add park’n’ride (what you say to a hickolishious car)… but you let thaat fail as well… we are upset and want your money…NOW…not n0w, but NOW… comprenday?… good.
p.s.e-mail us on dave_1905@yahoo.co.uk so that we can hear from you… Ta!!!
 

Squackle Guestbook #20614

Sunday 10/19/2003 6:42:12pm
Name: DER SEHR GUT SOUP NAZI
Homepage:
E-Mail:
I like to MAKE SOUP
NOT GIVE PEOPLE SOUP
MASSACRE JEWS
KILL BUGS
DRIVE PANZARS
DRAW PIC-A-TURES
TELL PEOPLE THAT THEY ARE NOT ARIAN
HIT THINGS WITH TWIGS
SHOUT
MEAT 

I NEED MONIES TO SAVE MY BRAIN! SAVE ME! I NEED PERSCRIPTION WITH WAFFLE IN EM! AH HAHA HAAAH AAAAH HAA AHHH! A!

I like Squackle!: Yes
Comments: OMGG~~!~!~!1!~~!1`!~!`1`1~!!`1~!