geaegelnsy – n. the free rain gutters you get with the purchase of a roof
“I wanna get married with someone who is white lol and love me the most and have kids,big dog but puppy,and kittens. And live in small house <3 ”
– from a girl’s dating profile
I think I wrote this in 10th grade.
Edgar Allen Poe SUCKS.
Very much so.
When I was writing this, I was sitting through my English class listening to a guy on a tape reading the story “The House of Usher” …which is complete and total crap! I hate how he writes his stories and poems.
The stories have too much description or something. There seems to be sentences within sentences within sentences, and it seems like they’re all fancy words put together to they make each other more fancy, and then there is no real story it seems.
Ooooh. The end of all his stories are so scary…you’re expected to get scared with “-she was dead,” like at the end of “The Oval Portrait”
Ooh. Scary. Dumb. “Never more?” Oooh. Scary.
Q: What is dumber than three white guys trying to build a house under water?
A: Three black guys trying to burn it down!
As part of an experiment, KyleBurn, who is davepoobond’s and Quesogrande’s roommate was supposed to dehydrate himself. KyleBurn was complaining all day about it and Quesogrande came home from work after a good hour or so of KyleBurn’s complaining. Quesogrande didn’t know anything about the experiment or about the complaining KyleBurn had been doing.
Later, on the couch, Quesogrande, davepoobond, and KyleBurn are all in the living room.
KyleBurn: “OH GOD, I’M SO THIRSTY! AND I CAN’T HAVE ANY WATER!”
Quesogrande looked at KyleBurn for a couple seconds.
Quesogrande: “Why can’t you have water? There’s water in the sink!”
KyleBurn gets pissed, and davepoobond laughs for five minutes straight.
– at davepoobond’s house.
“Roger fucked his lunch and shit out of the house.”
squeen – v. to carry a skeleton into a house
hacensaso – n. a house with legs
Joe and Je’von are in different rooms, but close enough where they can yell at each other.
Joe: Hey! ……………….What are you doing?
Je’von: My makeup.
Joe: What are you doing??
Je’von: My makeup!
Joe: What are you doing??
Je’von: MY MAKEUP!
Je’von: MY MAKEUP! I SAID IT THREE TIMES!
Joe: ……………your makeup?
– at davepoobond’s house
Riding through the snow
In an armored car today,
To Arkham house he goes,
Laughing all the way.
Isley killed a plant,
Nigma failed a test,
All Bane did was rave and rant,
And so did all the rest.
Penguin layed an egg.
Batman got the drop on them and
“Momma said that houses are only a fairy tale.”
fesofse – n. an assortment of 20 models including cars, houses, planes, buildings, and things that you think up using LEGOs.
Dan is a CPA. He is a good CPA. He spent 20 years of his life in school to become a CPA. He got a job with the United States government, and he did CPA-ing to its finest.
He was nominated for best CPA at the CPA-award giving awards. But he lost to some other guy named Fernando, cause Fernando was a Mexican and Dan was white.
So, one day, some of Fernando’s rabid fans threw copious amounts of tequila on his front lawn, and set Dan’s house on fire.
Dan lost his home.
The next day, Dan was called into his boss’ office, and his boss fired him because he had nowhere to send his checks and he doesn’t want homeless people working for him.
Dan was banned from CPA-ing ever again. So, he borrowed money from the mafia and he didn’t pay back his loan and they broke his skull.
Moral: Get Direct Deposit.