Word Bombs

We like to substitute certain words by describing them as “bombs” to say the word without actually saying the word.  I was curious if there is a “bomb” word for each word, so here’s a list for each letter which will be updated as new ones are discovered.

Leave a comment if you know one.

A-bomb – Atom bomb

B-bomb – ?

C-bomb – cunt(?)

D-bomb – ?

E-bomb – ?

F-bomb – fuck

G-bomb – ?

H-bomb – ?

I-bomb – ?

J-bomb – ?

K-bomb – ?

L-bomb – ?

M-bomb – ?

N-bomb – the derogatory word that describes black people

O-bomb – ?

P-bomb – ?

Q-bomb – ?

R-bomb – retard

S-bomb – ?

T-bomb – ?

U-bomb – ?

V-bomb – ?

X-bomb – ?

Y-bomb – ?

Z-bomb – ?

 

Anti-Barney the Dinosaur Song #22104

I hate you

You hate me

I will kill your whole family

With a big fucking gun pointing at your teeth

Making you piss while your miserbly in your knees

While you beg for your ass not to be split

No god-damn purple dinosaur will be left to sing.

 

A Page From a Girl’s Diary

This is a sexy entry in Yolando’s diary.

Dear Diary:  Today I saw him again.  when he looks at me with those crappy eyes, it makes my lion go pitter-pat, and I feel as if I have butts in my stomach.  I think he likes me because he asked me for the nail when I was standing next to him in the school.  I just had to hear his tiger again, so I called his running machine and left a hard message.  I hope he doesn’t recognize my touchdown.  He is such an easy boop.  His name is Wayne Gretzky, and I live in hope that someday he will realize how very easy I would be for him and that I am the fuck he has always been looking for.

 

You Know You’re Sick When…

You know you’re sick when…

– you vomit and the vomit mysteriously spells, “fart.”

– you are butt-fucking a goat in the backyard while your mom and the whole neighborhood is watching you, regularly.

– you watch, “I Love Lucy” and fall in love with Ricky and the way he bongs on his bongos and can’t stop thinking how he’d bong your bongos.

– you think the Home Alone Series is intellectual and educational, and your favorite part is when Kevin’s mom screams.

– you have the game “Shaq-Fu” for SEGA Genesis

– you say “cheek cheeky boom boom” when you get arrested when they say, “whatever you say can and will be used in a court of law.”

– you get up in the morning and feel like reading the Encyclopedia Brittanica from A-Z with all the special issues and add-ons for the 5th time in 3 days.

– you throw marshmallows at someone you have a crush on

– you play Bingo with yourself and shout, “BINGO!!” when you get it, you also live with 4 friends that now think your crazy.

– you think a cool thing to do is to dangle a cap from a string and hypnotize people.

– you think walking into a church naked is a funny prank, but even better, is walking into a nudist’s church with clothes on.

– you eat your intestine as a bedtime snack.

– you stick pencils up every hole in your body and run through town, naked, with the pencils in your holes, screaming, “I’m a walrus!”

– you get bees up your pants regularly.

– you pelt yourself, and other people, with pudding every Sunday.

– you use “what is the name of your telephone number” for a pickup line.

– you beat dogs, just cause they show their butthole to the whole world and still “smile.”

You know someone in your family is really sick when…

– the telephone rings and your teenaged daughter doesn’t feel well enough to run and answer it.

– you offer to take your wife shopping for a new dress and she doesn’t feel well enough to get of bed.

– you visit your mother-in-law and she’s too sick to even talk.

– you give away your tickets to the Super Bowl because you feel too ill to go to the game.

– your seven-year-old stays in the house all day and is good as gold.

– your teenaged son gives you back the keys to the car and tells you he’s going to bed instead of to the drive-in on Saturday night.