Happy Fruits – Pub Slot (iOS) Review

Developer/Publisher: Mazooma Interactive Games || Overall:  8.5/10

Happy Fruits – Pub Slot is a fruit-themed slots game available on iOS.  As a single-themed slot, the experience revolves solely around the theme of smiling, jumping, happy fruit.  With some interesting bonus games, this slots game is one of the better slots games available.

As everything is Happy and Fruit themed, even the standard 10, J, Q, K, A letters are animated and smiling.  They represent different types of fruit, such as the Green J fruit, the Blue K fruit, and my favorite, the purple Q fruit.  They look so delicious, you’ll want to eat them!

Similar to other slots games, you’ll unlock features as you play.  Each level allows you to bet at a higher cap, and at level 5, Auto Play is unlocked.  You get bonus credits every level and as a timed bonus every four hours.  You start out with 2500 credits which can easily get you a few levels up just by itself.  Each bet will add XP to your player level, so higher bets will get you levels faster.

There are also several interesting bonuses.  The largest bonus is the three progressive jackpots that slowly grow as you play.  The pick-a-win multiplier, in which you choose one of three possible bonuses, multiply your bet by the one that is chosen.  The most frequent one I encountered was the Crazy Streak spin bonus in which you will be taken to a 3-slot game that rolls slots automatically.  When you gain three of a certain fruit in each of the allocated spaces respectively, you’ll attain the bonus that fruit type is assigned.  Once you get the killer tomatoes that require the bonus game to end, the rolls will stop and you’ll receive the payout.  This bonus game is pretty fun as you’ll see things slowly fill in and as you progress in levels you’ll be able to last longer against the tomatoes on average.

Happy Fruits – Pub Slot is an interesting slots game that has a unique bonus game and theme to offer to players.  If you are interested in trying out the game, it is available on the App Store.

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Gaminator (iOS) Review

Developer/Publisher: Greentube Alderney Ltd.  || Overall:  8.5/10

Gaminator is a free casino app available in various European App Stores.  Using the same user interface integrated across a multitude of slots, players are able to hop around between different themes as they see fit with ease.  When first booting up the game, you are presented with an easy-to-understand interface.  In the top corners you’ll be shown your current Credit balance and your levels, the most important pieces of information.  With each level, you gain an extra Credit bonus, as well as a timed bonus every 4 hours.  The first few levels are easy to attain, so you’ll be earning quite a bit of bonus Credits as you start out.  This is a good way to allow you to get used to the game’s features and slots, especially if this is your first casino game.

Gaminator currently includes 13 differently-themed slots, with more being added.  You’ll be able to quickly and easily switch between slots that you like without restrictions such as a level minimum.  Once you feel like changing, it is easy to go back to the Lobby and switch to another slot.

The slot selection is diverse, and each theme can be fun depending on your personal preference.  Most are 5-Column games with a couple of 3-Column games available.  The selection of slots include the following and more:

  • Lucky Lady’s Charm Deluxe – lady/luck/magic themed
  • Book of Ra Deluxe – Egypt themed
  • Columbus deluxe – based on Christopher Columbus
  • Ultra Hot Deluxe – 3-Column fruit theme
  • Lord of the Ocean – Poseidon/water theme

It is very convenient to be able to switch between slots that are available via the Gaminator lobby.  If you are interested in trying out Gaminator, you can find it on the Hungarian App Store.  It is also available on the Czech, Polish, Russian, and Slovakian App Stores.

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Bell Fruit Casino App (iOS) Review

Developer: Greentube Alderney Ltd.  || Overall:  Good

Gambling with real money online has become more commonplace as it becomes more accessible.  Just like in a real casino, you may yearn for a little variety as you play one app and decide to go to another one.  In the UK App Store, an app named “Bell Fruit Casino App” is available for users to download, and includes the option to be able to integrate a multitude of different casino games using the same unified in-app log in and account structure to place bets in different games.

The game selection is quite vast and the themes are wide enough that you’ll be able to find something that you will enjoy playing.  There are also nice descriptions that explain rules and bonus games for each individual game.  There are several game types available, including Slots, Blackjack, and Roulette.  There are about 40 games supported in all.

The selection of slots is quite festive, include the following and more:

  • Cops ‘n’ Robbers – there are cops and there are robbers
  • Happy Fruits – the fruits, they are happy
  • Hoffmania – based on David Hasselhoff
  • Columbus deluxe – based on Christopher Columbus
  • Clockwork Oranges – based on oranges that have clocks in them
  • Spinderella – Based on Fairy Godmother/Cinderella
  • Volcanic Cash – prehistoric civilization theme, not unlike the Flintstones
  • Wizard of Odds – Wizard magic and medieval themed

While most, if not all, of these games are available singularly, it is convenient to be able to switch between apps that are all supported by the Bell Fruit Casino App hub.  If you are interested in trying out Bell Fruit Casino App, you can find it on the UK App Store.

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#23301: Yonseixryu -> Soup Nazi

Yonseixryu: I finally found it

Yonseixryu: I found the shoe tree

Yonseixryu: it

Soup Nazi: uh?

Yonseixryu: shoe tree shoe tree

Yonseixryu: I just ate a shoe fruit for breakfast

Soup Nazi: WTF IS WITH THIS SHOE TREE?

Yonseixryu: Im going to go swing on the sheo tree

Yonseixryu: bye bye

Soup Nazi: Okay. Great fun.

 

How To Have a Flat Stomach

If you don’t have a flat stomach, you can never have freaky posture.  You can strengthen the fruits in your stomach by proper exercises.  Here is an exercise that will improve your dick.  Lie on the floor on your sex bone and raise your dick over your head.  Do this 69 times while keeping your pussy tense.  Next exercise:  stand with your pooer flat against the wall. Bend over and try to touch your butts. This will keep your spine sexy.  Next, sit on the floor with your knees bent against your bank.  Then freely sit up and touch your shopping cart with your left toad.  Keep up these exercises until you feel pink.  Then stop.  At once.

 

Some Physical Laws We All Should Know

1. If you apply heat to petroleum unleaded fart, it will fuck.

2. Water always seeks its own fruit.

3. In a right triangle, the square of the dick is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two boobs.

4. Sound travels through the air at a rate of 69 dicks per second.

5. Weight: 16 ounces equals one fudgamudga.

6. If an object is floating in sperm fluid, it displaces its own pussy.

7. Everything that goes west must come east.

 

Archery (A Story)

William Tell was a Swiss Freedom bunking who lived in the 15th century.  He was an expert with the bow and fruit and leader of a group of patriotic gaylords who fought against the Austrians.  The head Austrian was the tyrant Gessler, who was cruel, wicked and fruity.  In addition, he never washed his fruits.  Gessler was a real mother fucker.

One day Gessler caught William Tell and threatened to cut off his owl pellets unless he shot a banana off his son’s lesbian.  So William Tell took his trusty bow and put a long dick in it.  He fucked up the arrow into the air.  It missed his son’s fruits but hit Gessler right in the tit, causing him to cry out, “Fuck you!” And that’s how Gessler came to a gay end.