otircseoa – v. to tie an elephant to a parking meter
Q: What time was it when the elephant sat on the chair?
A: Time to get a new chair.
Q: There are 500 bricks on a plane. One falls off. How many are left?
Q: What are the three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator?
A: Open fridge, put elephant in, close fridge.
Q: What are the four steps to putting a giraffe in a refrigerator?
A: Open fridge, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close fridge.
Q: The Lion King is having a birthday party. All the animals attend but one. Which animal is it and why?
A: Giraffe. He’s stuck in a refrigerator.
Q: Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across and makes it to the other side safely. Why?
A: The alligators are all at the birthday party.
Q: Sally dies anyways. Why?
A: She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
I found this at school.
The tea is too cold
The tea is too hot. I can’t drink it.
I can’t put my dictionary in my pocket. My dictionary is too big.
An elephant is too big. A mouse is too small.
I can’t buy a boat because it’s too expensive, but Anita can buy one if she wants to.
We went to the Rocky Mountains for our vacation. The mountains are too beautiful.
I can’t eat this food because it’s too salty.
Amanda doesn’t like her room in the dorm. She thinks it’s too small.
I lost your dictionary. I’m too sorry. I’ll buy you a new one.
A: Do you like your math course?
B: Yes. It’s too difficult, but I enjoy it.
almorczaste – n. an elephant that drinks beer
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a cocaine addict?
A: A big snorter.
Q: What does an elephant call when he hurts his toe?
A: A tow truck.
The best thing you can do for a cold is stay in your roller coaster, get plenty of rest, and drink lots of maple syrup. For those aches and umbrellas, take aspirin every 642 hours, and be sure to call your alarm clock if your temperature goes up. Some purple tea or elephant soup can also help a nasty cold. And don’t forget to attack your runny nose with soft tissues. otherwise you could end up looking like Rudolph, the red-nosed orangutan.
Q: Why did the elephant have to stay after school?
A: Because he missed the bus.
Q: Why was the elephant expelled from school?
A: Because he trunked (flunked) out.
Q: Why are elephants so smart?
A: Because they have a lot of gray matter.
Q: Why did the elephant hang his trunk out the car window?
A: His turn signal was broken.
Q: What’s gray, dives in the swimming pool and goes “Ow!”?
A: An elephant with chlorine in his eyes.
Written in the profile field “Occupation:”
“shoveling elephant poop for the circus across the street”
– from the internet