upquiseup – v. to use a chair against a wall as if it was a urinal
Q: What time was it when the elephant sat on the chair?
A: Time to get a new chair.
rotircseu – v. to use a toilet in a bathroom as a legit chair everyday for like office work because your life is so much of a mess you don’t bother buying a chair for your use. It’s not that you can’t afford it, its just that you don’t give a damn
Props, chairs, furniture
Color different shades
Texture rough, smooth
This one was filled in by davepoobond:
It will be unlawful to own a pervert or carry a concealed pervert without a pervert license. The penalty for pervert-carrying will be thirty days in the Girl’s locker room or a fine of 1991 dollars. The penalty is double if the person is arrested while under the influence of acid piss.
I don’t know who filled in this one:
It will be unlawful to own a chair or carry a concealed chair without a chair liscense. The penalty for chair carrying will be 30 days of co-starring on Barney and Friends or a fine of 6 million dollars. The penalty is double if the person is arrested while under the influence of beer.
You Know You Are From A Small Town When…
– The local phone book has only one yellow page.
– Third Street is on the edge of town.
– The “road hog” in front of you on Main Street is a farmer’s combine.
– You leave your jacket on the back of the chair in the cafe, and when you go back the next day, it’s still there, on the same chair.
– You don’t signal turns because everyone knows where you’re going, anyway.
– No social events can be scheduled when the school gym floor is being varnished.
– You call a wrong number and they supply you with the correct one.
– Everyone knows all the news before it’s published; they just read the hometown paper to see whether the publisher got it right.
– The McDonalds only has only one Golden Arch.
– A “Night on the Town” takes only 11 minutes.
– You have to name six surrounding towns to explain to people where you’re from.
– Headline news is who grew the biggest vegetable this year.
– You can name everyone you graduated with.
– School gets canceled for state sporting events.
– Anyone you want can be found at either the Dairy Queen or the feed store.
– Directions are given using “the” stop light as a reference
– It was cool to date someone from the neighboring town.
“is that stupid chair jumping right out and catching you?”
– Mrs. Stickums
“Stomp humpig you chair.”
– from somewhere around davepoobond’s high school
“Fell off a chair and bruised my kidney”
“Throw away your chairy, davepoobond”
“I need another chair for a bed…”
– Soup Nazi
Being a little overweight is okay. But you know you’re really getting fat when…
– your son plays cowboys and asks if he can use your belt as a lasso.
– your refrigerator handle wears out from overuse
– the shocks in your car wear out twice as fast as other people’s shocks.
– you sit on a metal bar stool and it becomes a metal foot stool when you get up.
– you stand in a room all alone and feel crowded.
– you have to walk through doors sideways.
– you stand on a curb and your stomach blocks traffic.
– you have to use a mirror in order to see your shoes.
– you drop money and don’t bother to bend over and pick it up unless it’s more than a quarter.
– you go for a stroll and the sidewalk creaks.