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Jingle Bells Song #21885

August 12th, 2011 Posted in (F) Jingle Bells Songs, Poetry and Songs | No Comments »

Jingle bells!

Monkey-butts smell!

Squirrels don’t lay eggs!

I know stuff and you dont so go the fuck away!

HEY!

-~-

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We Three Kings Parody

August 12th, 2011 Posted in (C) Song Parodies, Poetry and Songs | No Comments »

We three kings that are bizarre

Tried to smoke a rubber cigar

It was lo-oa-ded

We explo–ho-ded

Scattering near and far

-~-

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Jingle Bells Song #21883

August 12th, 2011 Posted in (F) Jingle Bells Songs, Poetry and Songs | No Comments »

This song is popular in the Steward School 3rd Grade class of 2000-2001.  Dashes & beats put in to show slowness.

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Jingle bells,
Batman smells,
Robin layed an egg!
Mr. Freeze cut the cheese and blew us all away!

HEY!

Batman’s in the kitchen,
Robin’s in the hall,
Joker (or Riddler)’s in the bathroom
Peeing on the wall!

HEY!

Jingle bells,
Batman smells,
Robin layed an egg!

Mis-ter freeze (beat)

cut the cheese (beat)

and blew (beat)

us all (beat)

a-way…HEY!!!

-~-

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Jingle Bells Song #21882

August 12th, 2011 Posted in (F) Jingle Bells Songs, Poetry and Songs | No Comments »

Jingle Bells

Jingle Bells

What the freaking heck?

Batmobile lost its wheel

So he hooked up with Beck

HOOOOKED UP WITH BECCCCCCCCCCK!!!

-~-

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Bad Submission #21881

August 12th, 2011 Posted in Bad Submissions | No Comments »

Submitted through the Jingle Bells submission form.

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This form was submitted:  Apr 29 2004 / 07:21:12

name = dick head
email =
use_email = yes
jinglesong = fuck me uo the arse, fuck me up the arse I dont know what comes next so fuck,fuck,fuck,fuck,fuuuck, Hey

-~-

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Bad Submission #21880

August 12th, 2011 Posted in Bad Submissions | No Comments »

Submitted through the Jingle Bells submission form.

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This form was submitted:  Feb 19 2004 / 13:13:46

name = Go Smoke A Toilet
email =
use_email = yes
jinglesong = JINGLE BELLS
JINGLE BELLS
JINGLE ALL THE WAY
OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE
IN A ONE-HORSE OPEN SLEIGH
HEY
JINGLE BELLS
JINGLE BELLS
JINGLE ALL THE WAY
OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE
IN A ONE-HORSE OPEN SLEIGH

…………..this song is WHACK

-~-

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Jingle Bells Song #21879

August 12th, 2011 Posted in (F) Jingle Bells Songs, Poetry and Songs | No Comments »

Driving on the highway,
Shooting cars with snow,
“Get of the road, jerk,” I say!
When the people blow!

Jingle bells, jingle bells lovely chrashing cars!
Oh what fun it is to ride and give all people SARS!

Pissing on the roof,
I love this thing I know,
Saying, “Whoff poff duff!
diddladiidddeli dow!”

Jingle bells, jingle bells lovely chrashing cars!
Oh what fun it is to ride and give all people SARS!

gibidadiduddidididuuuuu!
bombabadudididdaaaaa!
bommelummetrommelummeuuuu!
I think I kill santa!

Jingle bells, jingle bells lovely chrashing cars!
Oh what fun it is to ride and give all people SARS!

THE END!

-~-

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Jingle Bells Song #21878

August 12th, 2011 Posted in (F) Jingle Bells Songs, Poetry and Songs | No Comments »

Jingle bells

Fuck me this smells,

Like a rotten leg,

Father Christmas rooted his reinders

With his wooden leg, hey!

-~-

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Jingle Bells Song #21877

August 12th, 2011 Posted in (F) Jingle Bells Songs, Poetry and Songs | No Comments »

Jingle bells Batman smells

Robin laid an egg

The Joker took it and made an omelette

Then came a comet

-~-

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Jingle Bells Song #

August 12th, 2011 Posted in (F) Jingle Bells Songs, Poetry and Songs | No Comments »

Jingle Bells
Batman Smells
Robin laid an egg
The batmobile lost its wheel
and the joker got away, HEY!

(Repeat the previous verse twice)

Batman’s in the kitchen
Robins in the hall
Jokers in the bathroom
Peeing on the wall!

-~-

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Joke #21875

August 12th, 2011 Posted in (C) Offensive Jokes, Jokes | No Comments »

Two rabbis walk into a bank.

While waiting in line, bank robbers storm inside, not only robbing the bank but also forcing the customers to hand over their own money and jewelry.

One rabbi slips something into the hand of the other rabbi.

“What is this?” the rabbi whispered.

The other rabbi replied, “It’s the fifty bucks I owe you.”

-~-

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Joke #21874

August 12th, 2011 Posted in (C) Offensive Jokes, (C) Racist Jokes, Jokes | No Comments »

A midget walks in to a bar, takes a few shots of whiskey, jumps up on the bar stool and said, “Hey, any of you motherfuckers want to fight me?”

A guy 6 feet two inches tall and weighing 253 lbs stood up and said, “I’ll fight you!”  The little midget jumped on him and beat the shit out of him.

Next night the midget walked in and took a few shots, jumped on his bar stool and said, “Hey, any of you motherfuckers want to fight me?”

This time an even bigger guy stood up. He was about 6 foot 5 inches and weighed 348 lbs. The midget jumped on him and beat the shit out of him, too.

So the bar owner went out and bought a gorilla and locked it in the bathroom.

Later that night the midget walked in, took a few shots of whiskey and jumped on the bar stool and asked if there were any sons of bitches that want to fight. This time no one stood up. The bar owner said, “There’s a guy in the bathroom that wants to kick your fucking ass.”

Now the gorilla was in the bathroom for about 6 hours and was really pissed off. That midget walked into the bathroom and there was all kinds of noise for about 2 hours. Finally that midget walked out, sat down all out of breath, looked at the bar owner and said, “Tell that damn black guy his fur coat is in the toilet.”

-~-

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Joke #21873

August 12th, 2011 Posted in (C) Offensive Jokes, (C) Racist Jokes, Jokes | No Comments »

A young black guy walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, “Hi, I’m tired of handouts, I want a job.”

The man behind the counter replied, “Your timing is amazing. We’ve just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nympho daughter. You’ll have to drive around in a big white Mercedes — the suits, shirts, and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided for and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays. The salary package is $200,000 a year.”

The black guy said, “Ah c’mon, you’re bullshitting me!”

The man behind the counter said, “Well, you started it!”

-~-

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Joke #21872

August 12th, 2011 Posted in (C) Offensive Jokes, (C) Racist Jokes, Jokes | No Comments »

A man goes into a shop and sees three jars on a table.

The first jar says “Caucasian Brains, $5.00 a pint”. The second says “Asian Brains, $10.00 a pint”, and the third says ” Black Brains, $100.00 a pint.”

“Hey, why are these Black brains $100 bucks a pint?” asked the man.

The shop owner replied, “You know how many blacks you have to kill to get a whole pint of brains?”

-~-

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Joke #21871

August 12th, 2011 Posted in (C) Offensive Jokes, (C) Racist Jokes, (C) Sick Jokes, (F) Quicky Jokes, Jokes | No Comments »

Q: How can an Ethiopian woman tell when she’s pregnant?

A: When she pulls out her tampon and it’s half eaten.

-~-

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