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Its true.  7 random questions somehow answered it.

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Tags: davepoobond, women

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The worst Ralphs in the world appears to be within the same vicinity as the worst Burger King in the world.  Same people must own them, or something.

So when I went to Ralphs to find some eye contact solution, I couldn’t find any cause I needed some that had Saline in it.  Apparently most eye contact solution does not have saline in it for whatever reason.  I don’t use it, I just had to get it for someone.

So I had to ask a lady about it, and she said “top of the shelf aisle 7.”  I told her I already looked and that I couldn’t find any.  She said “oh, then that’s all we have then.  SORRRYYYYY.”  She didn’t try and help me look or anything.  Would have been nice customer service to do so, don’t you think?  That’s what I do at my job every time someone is looking for something.  I actually help them!

By some miracle I actually did find what I was looking for, because only after I ask people for help do I find what I’m looking for.

So I grabbed what I went there for, and went into the “Express Lane.”  There were 2 lanes open at the time.  And the Express Lane had like 15 people in it.  Ok, whatever.

Some old black lady stood behind me for like two seconds.  I didn’t notice until later that she wasn’t behind me anymore, and already a line of like 5 more people was behind me.

All of a sudden the black lady comes back and cuts everyone.  The person that was behind me asked “excuse me, ma’am, are you in line?”

The black lady said “I am, I am behind him” and she touches my shirt sleeve.

I was about to say “Lady, you can’t leave the line and then come back in where you left,” but I just said “Umm…I don’t remember you behind me.”  How can someone expect me to remember who was behind me in a line at a supermarket?

So the black lady doesn’t even move, she just stays there and crowds my ass, giving me barely any room to move around, because the pussies that were behind me let her stay in line and cut everyone behind them too.

So I had a crazy old black woman buying some frozen chicken and two little red peppers behind me, and some weird black dude with a weird hat you’d see some Prime Minister of an African nation wear on their head when they’re not killing peasants.  He also had a gold cane, and was buying two packs of Lipton white ice tea.

When the cashier rang up the ice teas for the guy, the fucking things were supposedly on sale, but the computer wasn’t reflecting that.  So I had to wait like what seemed like ten minutes for them to figure out the whole deal.  And it really wasn’t that complicated to figure out, it was just taking them a long time to do.  Sad thing is, the cashier was an “assistant manager” as dictated on her name tag.  Pathetic.

During the wait, the crazy black woman that cut everyone in line started complaining, muttering things under her breath while she was three inches away from my face.

Instead of actually figuring out how the iced tea should be discounted, the assistant manager just punched in some “customer satisfaction” non merchandise code and gave the dude six bucks, three dollars off for each of the iced tea things.  How nice of them.

Now where’s my customer satisfaction payoff?  Some Ralphs executive is probably wiping his ass with it and flushing it down the toilet.

Tags: grocery store, Ralphs, The DPB Tag

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Just went to Burger King, and it was the worst one I’ve ever been to.

I got the chicken fries meal, and it was pretty much all room temperature — aren’t you supposed to fry this stuff?

Not only that, I coulda sworn that the fries were fried using spit, not oil.  I got a bunch of crappy pieces of chicken instead of actual chicken fries — it seemed like they gave me like 13 or some weird number.  I only asked for a 9 piece meal…

Assholes.

Tags: Burger King, chicken, food, The DPB Tag

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So I was driving to my internship and finding a place to park earlier today, and I see this dude wearing only his boxers and a weird teal shirt that was showing entirely too much shoulder and weird moccasin-type footwear.

To my displeasure, the man’s ass crack began to show, like half of his ass.  I thought to myself, "this could not be any worse."  But it did.  As I was parking (he was right by where I was parking), he bends down and picks something up.  I tried to look away, but I was forced to have him in my peripheral vision since I was still driving.

DISGUSTING.

Tags: ass, butt, man

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I had someone just call me right now…

I pick up the phone, and they say something that sounds like a mix between “HA” and “HUH.”  Let’s call it HAUH.

So, I say “what?”

and then they say “HAUH” again.

and I’m all “who is this??”

and then he’s all “hauh!  oh!  wrong number sorry”

I don’t understand why someone would say “HAUH” as their first thing on the telephone when calling someone.  They sounded like a retard.

Tags: hauh, telephone

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I found these coins recently:

Penny: 1940

Penny: 1955-D

Penny: 1957-D

Penny: 1958-D

Penny: 1963-D x 2

Penny: 1964-D

Penny: 1966

Nickel: 1954

Nickel: 1956-D

Nickel: 1957-D

Nickel: 1962-D

Nickel: 1965

Dime: 1964-D

Quarter: Bicentennial-D

Quarter: North Dakota-P

Quarter: Oklahoma-D

Quarter: Smooshed New York-D Quarter

Half Dollar: 1967

Half Dollar: 1971-D

Half Dollar: Bicentennial

Half Dollar: 1980-D

Half Dollar: 1991-D

Half Dollar: 2001-D

Canadian Nickel: 1978

Cuban Nickel: 2000

Tags: Coin Collecting Journal

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Its official, today is Stupid Day. Here’s another customer story that just happened.

A bizarre lady called and asked if we rented out caps and gowns for her Masters graduation, and I told her no, we don’t, you have to buy them. She also volunteered to tell me that she was with the History department, like I could give a fuck about that in the first place.

So she proceeded to say this to me:

"I have to BUY my graduation robe? Well, I guess I’m not graduating then." And then hung up.

What the fuck is with these people today??

I also heard that another customer argued with a manager for a half and hour about returning a pen or pencil he bought a month ago (with no receipt to show, as well). And then there was ANOTHER lady who called us and asked us how to put her Masters Hood on, and she was a retard because when we tried to tell her what to do, she didn’t even do it right.

Tags: customer, The DPB Tag, The Retail Report

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A lady petitioning against the Cal State University budget cuts came into the store and solicited us to sign her stupid petition. I don’t sign anything so I said no, and no for all the people around me.

So then the bitch went deeper into the store and asked more customers to sign it. Which is not allowed, since we do not allow solicitors inside the store, no matter what their cause. Ironically, she was having an off-duty Community Service Officer (basically a junior cop and security guard for the store) sign the petition.

I called the on-duty CSOs in the camera room and told them about the Petition Bitch and tell her that she can’t be inside the store doing that shit. So, the guy came out and told her to leave.

During that time, the off-duty CSO came over to the Customer Service desk where I worked and told me that he signed the petition, and as the Petition Bitch was leaving she asked him to sign the petition again AFTER she was told she couldn’t do that in the store, not to mention she already got him to sign it.

What a bitch.

Tags: customer, The DPB Tag, The Retail Report

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So a guy wanted to buy a slushy, and I asked him what flavor it was so I could ring it up.

I said, "What flavor is that?"

He said "Strawberry, Idon’tknowrarerr….RED."

I said, "Red?"

He said "Yeahhhh, I don’t knoww"

So I rang him up for a red-flavored slushy. The End.

Tags: customer, The DPB Tag, The Retail Report

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A weird lady came by the Customer Service desk holding a cassette tape and some other electronic thing in her hand.

She said "I lost my wallet, so I was wondering if it was okay if I could take these now and pay for them later."
As she was about to explain more of her reasoning, I cut her off and said "No."

She said "Oh okay, I understand," and walked away.

Fucking weirdo.

Tags: customer, The DPB Tag, The Retail Report

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I had a dream where I was running through a casino with no shirt on.  I also had no chest hair, no shoes or socks, and only wearing some shorts with palm trees on them over my boxers.

I had just woken up from a disjointed bedroom that was disconnected from the other part of the room or something, and I was asking which way it was to the room, but I didn’t know anything about it.

Then I was transported into a small swimming pool in a dark place where I started doing some hot chicks.

Tags: casino, The Dreams Tag

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Coins found recently:

Penny: 1959-D

Penny: 1961-D

Canadian Penny: 1991

Nickel: 1940-D

Nickel: 1958

Nickel: 1969-S

Canadian Dime: 1982

Canadian Dime: 2004

3 Bicentennial Quarters

2 Quarters: Utah 2007-D

Half Dollar: 1999-D

Presidential Dollar: James Monroe – 2008-D

Tags: Coin Collecting Journal

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Found the following coins today:

Canadian Penny – 1988

Penny – 1930

Penny – 1967

Nickel – 1957-D

Nickel – 1958-D

Nickel – 1961

Nickel – 1962

Nickel – 1969-D

Nickel – 2004-P

Canadian Dime – 1974

Tags: Coin Collecting Journal

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There was a laughing monkey girl that visited work yesterday.

This monkey girl was making a weird high pitched sound that sounded like "EEE EEE EEEEEEEEE." It sounded like a squeaky wheel at first or something wrong with the escalator.

It was only later that I figured out that was her actual laugh!

Some asshole was making her laugh more, and the whole time i was like "where the fuck is that sound coming from??"

It was so annoying, you could hear it clear across the store. I thought she was dying, cause it made no sense to me how someone could be making that noise unintentionally.

I didn’t even see her until she walked past the Customer Service desk where I worked, and I just stared in awe at this weird short white girl with nasty long hair laughing with that high pitched noise with some gay dude hugging her as he was laughing.

I guess he was laughing at her laugh, which in turn made her laugh even more.

After they left, another worker from the other side of the store popped her head out from behind a rack of clothing, and looked towards me, asking "Did you HEAR that?? What WAS that???"

That was weird.

Tags: customer, laugh, monkey, The DPB Tag, The Retail Report

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Found a few coins recently to add to the collection:

Penny – 1963-D

Nickel – 1961

Nickel – 1963

Nickel – 1967

2 Nickels – 1969-S

Nickel – 2005-P (rare around here for some reason)

Canadian Nickel – 1978

Tags: Coin Collecting Journal, nickel, penny

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