These are the Stupid IMs. They’re stupid, duh. 1 to 1 messaging.
davepoobond: ewwwwww i just did a stuttering fart and it SMELLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Evil Hell Cow: Ew!
davepoobond: it was like pupupupupuuuuuuuuuuu
davepoobond: and it smells still
davepoobond: i dont know how it curls up to my nose
davepoobond: what do you get when you mix red and blue, purple or a cow?
Holmes: Ok OK! I know I owe you fuckin money but for cryin out loud give me my family back and I swear i’ll pay you back! (If your not the mafia and your one of my friends, i’m doing great and i’ll be right back after i rob a bank…)
davepoobond: heh
davepoobond: my breakfast today – a hot dog and Graham cracker honey sticks
davepoobond: a cold hot dog
Phoenix: .. cool or uncookeD?
davepoobond: uncooked
Phoenix: …at least say not frozen
davepoobond: right out of the package
davepoobond: in the fridge
Phoenix: whew…
Phoenix: frozen would scare me
davepoobond: i got kinda nautious at the last few bites
davepoobond: i used to eat them cold when i was little, but i think its just the brand
davepoobond: Hebrew National
Phoenix: prolly the crackers
davepoobond: no, i was just eating the hot dog then
davepoobond: the crackers taste mighty fine
davepoobond: and theres a pile of sugar at the bottom of the bag
davepoobond: heh
Phoenix: mmm.. sugar
davepoobond: we have these nasty cashews that look like they’re good to eat
davepoobond: but they’re really hard and they have no taste to them
Phoenix: ugh
davepoobond: who sells that kinda crap
Phoenix: leave em in a bowl for guests
davepoobond: ………….we dont have guests……
Phoenix: where all the nasty stuff should go.
Phoenix: So?
davepoobond: NO WONDER
davepoobond: its ORGANIC
Phoenix: ugh!
davepoobond: taste more like crap than cashews
Phoenix: nothing good ever comes out of the ground
davepoobond: yer tellin me
davepoobond: they’re horrrrribible
Phoenix: Why would you buy it ugh..
davepoobond: i didnt
davepoobond: my parents did
davepoobond: mi amigo!!!!!!
Phoenix: If you’re a monster, raise your hand.
davepoobond: ..k
davepoobond: yay
adidasdrgn: hi!!
adidasdrgn: hello!!!
davepoobond: hiell!
adidasdrgn: MOooooooooooo cows
davepoobond: mooooooooo giraffes
adidasdrgn: eckieckie penguins
davepoobond:
adidasdrgn: how
adidasdrgn: did
adidasdrgn: you
adidasdrgn: do
adidasdrgn: that
davepoobond: press space and then send
adidasdrgn:
adidasdrgn: hashaha i knew that
adidasdrgn: HAHA
adidasdrgn: I’M BORED NOW
davepoobond: HAHAAHAHA
davepoobond: go to squackle
adidasdrgn: you still have that webpage
davepoobond: www.squackle.cjb.net
davepoobond: oh yeah baby
adidasdrgn: lol
adidasdrgn: Hey that thingy isn’t correct
davepoobond: what isnt
davepoobond: www.arcticnetwork.net/squackle
davepoobond: try that
adidasdrgn: the website, i couldn’t get to it
adidasdrgn: okdoke
adidasdrgn: yeah, it worked
davepoobond: yay
adidasdrgn: yeah.
adidasdrgn: i’m gonna go check it out
davepoobond: yay
adidasdrgn: what do you think about armpit hair, lol
davepoobond: that i have plentiful amounts
adidasdrgn: lol
adidasdrgn: enough to briad
adidasdrgn: *braid
davepoobond: almost
adidasdrgn: ha
davepoobond: you can make bow ties though
davepoobond: and knots
adidasdrgn: ewwww
adidasdrgn: i hope it smells good
davepoobond: of course
davepoobond: except when i’m sweating like a manatee
adidasdrgn: lol
adidasdrgn: sea cows go eeeewwhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
davepoobond: so
adidasdrgn: so yeah
davepoobond: ok then
adidasdrgn: alrighty then
adidasdrgn: Yup, i’m going to sign off in 4
adidasdrgn: 3
davepoobond: bye
adidasdrgn: 2
adidasdrgn: `1
adidasdrgn: bye!
davepoobond: bye
davepoobond: agga wagga
adidasdrgn: uh, huh?
davepoobond: yeeep
adidasdrgn: OOOoooooook
adidasdrgn: lol
davepoobond: wuztu yusin
adidasdrgn: IF that means what’s you doing¿ then, I’m ok, wuztu yusin
davepoobond: nuffzin
adidasdrgn: I really hope your name is Dave, or Man, I keep forgeting.
davepoobond: how do you make that upside down question mark
davepoobond: dave
adidasdrgn: ha!
adidasdrgn: ¿ alt 424
davepoobond: dont work
adidasdrgn: alt and then on the right, press 424
adidasdrgn: square pad
davepoobond: ¿
davepoobond: AAAAA
adidasdrgn: hahaha you got it genius!
davepoobond: __
davepoobond: it stopped working
davepoobond: and my font is red
adidasdrgn: why
davepoobond: dunno
davepoobond: i-just-dont-know!
davepoobond: o well
adidasdrgn: o well, ha! you’re Bored!
davepoobond: yeah u got it
adidasdrgn: THOUGHT SO
adidasdrgn: haha
davepoobond: did you know AOL High Speed costs 60 bucks a month
adidasdrgn: wow
adidasdrgn: hahaha
davepoobond: its 31 bucks, in addition to the 29.50 you have to be paying or something
davepoobond: but we’re only paying 22
davepoobond: i dont get it
adidasdrgn: oh well, cheaper, it is. go yoda
davepoobond: moosey
Evil Hell Cow: Mooo!
davepoobond: whuts up
Evil Hell Cow: not much1 you ?
davepoobond: same…going through my personal filing cabinet
davepoobond: lol i have so many emails
davepoobond: around 4100
Evil Hell Cow: whoa
davepoobond: i’m on 1998
davepoobond: whee!
davepoobond: i scream you scream, we all scream for ice cream!
davepoobond: i hate that commercial
Tetsuya: o.o;;
davepoobond: it was just that stupid nasty ice cream, and then chocolate syrup falling on it
Tetsuya: …Yeah, pretty much.
davepoobond: and those ANNOYING annoying kids
davepoobond: have you played parappa the rappa 2?
Tetsuya: Yeah.
davepoobond: good game huh
Tetsuya: Fun at times.
davepoobond: i gotta believe!!
davepoobond: i cant wait till elian gonzalez grows up
davepoobond: cuz then he’ll pry be an actor
davepoobond: or something
Lumpy: o.O
davepoobond: starring Elian Gonzalez. “The Life of Elian Gonzalez”
davepoobond: like one of those biographical films
davepoobond: like The Hurricane
Lumpy: lol
davepoobond: Janet Reno would be like the antagonist
davepoobond: and its all controversy
davepoobond: and they show like a real side to elian
Lumpy: lol
davepoobond: and he’s like sitting on the side of the pool with his legs in the water
davepoobond: playing with a toy
davepoobond: and he doesnt say anything cuz he only knows spanish
davepoobond: oh yeah in the beginning his ship sinks or something and then he swims to the shore. and its all dramatic. like in cast away or something
davepoobond: and his only friends are the media
davepoobond: that give him lollipops and stuff
Lumpy: ::shakes his head::
davepoobond: and then his “vacation” ends when his daddy comes back
davepoobond: and no one knows that he doesnt like him cuz he speaks in a slurred obsolete mayan version of spanish that isnt actually spanish
davepoobond: and they try to get him back with his father
davepoobond: but they dont let him
davepoobond: and then a masked guy with a gun comes and gets him in the closet, because one of his media guy friends put him in there
davepoobond: and the media guy gets a picture of it
Lumpy: let it go
davepoobond: ok i’m sorry
davepoobond: “well your dumb. and stupid too!”
FireRaze: And I hate your guts, so we are even!
davepoobond: – me just 1 minute ago
davepoobond: i said that to my sister
FireRaze: – Me forever!
FireRaze: Heh
davepoobond: k=========
davepoobond: guess what that is
davepoobond: a hammer
davepoobond: hahahaha
FireRaze: hahahahahaahahahaahah
davepoobond: i got my report card
FireRaze: cool
davepoobond: and i passed all my classes yay
davepoobond: did you get yours yet?
FireRaze: yeah
FireRaze: a long time ago
FireRaze: I got almost all As
davepoobond: yeah i think i got it later than everyone else
davepoobond: want a million dollars?
FireRaze: heh
FireRaze: sure
davepoobond: for free?
FireRaze: sure
davepoobond: how to get a million dollars for free
FireRaze: Hey! I didnt get a million dollars!!!
davepoobond: pretty cooooooool huh
davepoobond: LOL
davepoobond: thats how i lure people into squackle
davepoobond: i post that link around places, and people say “a million dollars! wow!”
davepoobond: and then they go through all that, and they dont get a million dollars! Ahahahaha
davepoobond: yo
Tetsuya: ][ Well, I’m not here right now. As you can guess I’m afk, and you’re only talking to my awnsering machine thingie. I’ll be back sooner or later, and I’ll get back to you… ][
davepoobond: nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooo
Blind Bubba: …..
davepoobond: ….
Raini Majora: *appears in a colorful bust of smoke* LotS will soon be destroyed…along with all of it’s…pathetic members
davepoobond: COOL!
davepoobond: tell me more fairy tales
Raini Majora: *tilts her head curiously*
davepoobond: nyah nyah nyah nyah
Raini Majora: watch and see..
davepoobond: lala alalalalalalal
Raini Majora: *disappears*
davepoobond: watch and see what?
davepoobond: hello?
davepoobond: you disappeared?!
davepoobond: ahhh!
davepoobond: i cant see you!!!!
davepoobond: WHERE ARE YOUUUU
Raini Majora: (TOS)
davepoobond: what are you talking about? you IMd me
————————-
I don’t think she actually reported me to TOS. It was probably just to get me to shut up.
davepoobond: are you done w/your chores
Blind Bubba: yep
davepoobond: wanna do something
davepoobond: i’m bored off my ass
Blind Bubba: got someone over
Blind Bubba: but if you have money
Blind Bubba: you could come over i suppose
davepoobond: heh. how much
Blind Bubba: 5 dollars
davepoobond: i’m in
Blind Bubba: ok
davepoobond: should i bring it in singles or something?
Blind Bubba: yes
Blind Bubba: oh’
Blind Bubba: you should put it like
Blind Bubba: i have these cement things that have wooden posts holding up the front
Blind Bubba: put it on that
Blind Bubba: back away
Blind Bubba: ill take the money
Blind Bubba: check if its real
Blind Bubba: then we’ll see
davepoobond: wtf
davepoobond: yer just gonna jack it from me
Blind Bubba: no, its a fee
davepoobond: to do what
Blind Bubba: to come over, wat do you think
Blind Bubba: or
Blind Bubba: wait
Blind Bubba: do you want to goto pc
Blind Bubba: o wait, do you caer
Blind Bubba: about 6 months
Blind Bubba: crap you do dont you
Blind Bubba: fudie
davepoobond: i dont REALLY care about it
davepoobond: i do if i get caught
davepoobond: but i doubt i will
davepoobond: y’want me to drive you somewhere or something
Blind Bubba: nah doyou want to pc201
davepoobond: what does that mean
Blind Bubba: nm
Blind Bubba: yah i guess u can come over till 3 or 3 30 or somethin
davepoobond: alright 45 minutes
davepoobond: whoo!
Blind Bubba: o
Blind Bubba: er
Blind Bubba: 4
Blind Bubba: or 4 30
davepoobond: k
davepoobond: whatever
————————-
That day, davepoobond, Blind Bubba and some other guy shot some BB guns at a wooden fence, then went to Burger King, then went to a PC “cafe” kind of thing. Isn’t that interesting? Its the first time dave had been to one of those PC kinds of places.
davepoobond: i sweer man, midis are cool
davepoobond: they are the superior form of music
FireRaze: You say it one more time!!!!
FireRaze: And Ill….
FireRaze: Im going to kill you anyway
FireRaze: ::starts hitting him with soft, girly punches::
davepoobond: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
FireRaze: die
FireRaze: MIDIS SUCK MIDIS SUCK MIDIS SUCK MIDIS SUCK MIDIS SUCK MIDIS SUCK MIDIS SUCK MIDIS SUCK MIDIS SUCK MIDIS SUCK MIDIS SUCK MIDIS SUCK MIDIS SUCK MIDIS SUCK MIDIS SUCK MIDIS SUCK MIDIS SUCK MIDIS SUCK MIDIS SUCK MIDIS SUCK MIDIS SUCK MIDIS SUCK MIDIS SUCK MIDIS SUCK
FireRaze: SAY IT!!!
davepoobond: NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVERNEVER NEVER NEVERNEVER NEVER NEVERNEVER NEVER NEVERNEVER NEVER NEVERNEVER NEVER NEVERNEVER NEVER NEVERNEVER NEVER NEVERNEVER NEVER NEVERNEVER NEVER NEVER
FireRaze: You are making me very angry
FireRaze: ::turns a stereo all the way up with real music::
FireRaze: HAHA!!
FireRaze: Listen!!
davepoobond: NO NEVER
FireRaze: You will listen!
davepoobond: ::plays californication by the red hot chili peppers in MIDI::
davepoobond: this is so much cooler than the regular version
davepoobond: i love the whistle instead of the voice
FireRaze: no No NO!!!
FireRaze: Please!!
FireRaze: AHHHH IM Melting!!
FireRaze: Melting!!
davepoobond: it takes real musical ability to make MIDIs, you know
FireRaze: Its all done on a keyboard
davepoobond: DREAM OF CALIFORN-ICATIONNNNNN
FireRaze: ::Starts playing Jimi Hendrix “Voodoo Child”::
davepoobond: hmmm hmmmmmm
davepoobond: hmmmmmmm hmmMmmMm
FireRaze: :: and Limp Bizkit “Rollin” at the same time::
davepoobond: that’s kinda a bad song
davepoobond: why would you listen to that anyway
davepoobond: they made 2 versions of that song
davepoobond: did you know that
FireRaze: I really dont
FireRaze: I know
FireRaze: It just popped into my head
davepoobond: rollercoaster of love
davepoobond: 2:26 of pure goodness
FireRaze: I have to go
davepoobond: ok bye
FireRaze: I cant take this MIDI crap no more
davepoobond: haha bye
FireRaze: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! :Runs away screaming::
FireRaze: Bye