These are the Stupid IMs. They’re stupid, duh. 1 to 1 messaging.
davepoobond: what are you doing today
Blind Bubba: Contemplating the ‘true meaning’ of this very old, ugly monitor in front of me. All other priorities I once held now pale in comparison. Thus, any IMs must wait awhile until I feel this ‘holy mission’ is complete.
be back in few hours…
davepoobond: ………WHAT THE HELL did you just say
davepoobond: hey remember me
Kemp: once
Kemp: upon
Kemp: a time
Kemp: I think I’ll BW in a momement, though, oddly enough
Kemp: =P
davepoobond: ok
davepoobond: moo
Kaz: You know cows dont say moo right?
davepoobond: what do they say then
Kaz: They sound more like uuuuuuuurnm
davepoobond: muuuuuuuuu
Kaz: uuuuuuuurnm
davepoobond: muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Kaz: UUUUUUUUUUUUURNM!
davepoobond: MOOOOOOOOO
Kaz: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNM DAMMIT!
davepoobond: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo
davepoobond: mooboo!
Kaz: moo?
Kaz: How could you!
davepoobond: cluck cluck honk honk wink wink gobble gobble
davepoobond: yoink yoink
Kaz: I feel your pain..
davepoobond: oink!
Trepidation: AYYYYYYY!!!
davepoobond: moooooo!
Trepidation: ooooooooooooiiiink!
davepoobond: boooooo!!!!!!!!!!
Trepidation: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Trepidation: ::runs away screaming like that pepsi girl::
This person IMd me because of the IM #6372 that I had with Squall.
———————–
DarkCrawlerz: go to hell
davepoobond: who are you
DarkCrawlerz: a friend of shawn
davepoobond: ya well
davepoobond: if you’re a friend, then i’m the king of england
DarkCrawlerz: ok
davepoobond: and i’m screwin the queen of england
davepoobond: while she’s jackin off your mom
davepoobond: while she’s jackin off your dog
davepoobond: YOU LITTLE BASTARD! I’LL MAKE YOU PAY
DarkCrawlerz: haha
DarkCrawlerz: go to hell
davepoobond: no. YOU go to hell
DarkCrawlerz: already in hell
DarkCrawlerz: why dont u come down
davepoobond: i’m already there too
DarkCrawlerz: who ru
davepoobond: where do you live? i’ll come over
DarkCrawlerz: pennsauken
davepoobond: no kidding
davepoobond: well how about that
davepoobond: boo
Squall: who is this
davepoobond: Asdilik Pickinson
Squall: ohh
davepoobond: 1423 Oak Park Drive
Squall: right…
davepoobond: Missouri, Kansas
davepoobond: i didnt name the town, i’m sorry
Squall: i dont know anyone from kansas
davepoobond: so what
davepoobond: now you do
Squall: right..
davepoobond: so whats up
Squall: nuthin
davepoobond: same with me. momma is milking the cows, and my sister is milking the chickens, and i’m trying to make millions of dollars on the internet so we dont have to milk any animals any more
Squall: right…
davepoobond: guess whos back
Squall: your mom?
davepoobond: back again
davepoobond: guess whos back guess whos back guess whos back guess whos back guess whos back
davepoobond: EM EM EM EM EM INEM
davepoobond: DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
davepoobond: actually my moms back now
davepoobond: she wants to talk to you
davepoobond: is that ok
Squall: no
davepoobond: seriously now, you dont remember who i am?
Squall: no
davepoobond: boo
Lil Angel Gurl: wassuP
Lil Angel Gurl: aYe i nOe yOu!
davepoobond: nothing
Lil Angel Gurl: buh i fOrgot hu yOU are
Lil Angel Gurl: haha
davepoobond: you DO?
davepoobond: oh
Lil Angel Gurl: Ü
davepoobond: then that means you dont know who i am
Lil Angel Gurl: yesh i do
davepoobond: you just said you didnt
Lil Angel Gurl: i fOrgot ur name
Lil Angel Gurl: buh i nOe yOU
davepoobond: dave
Lil Angel Gurl: oO
Lil Angel Gurl: how dyd i meet yOu agains?
Lil Angel Gurl: hey bbl
davepoobond: k
Lil Angel Gurl: ima go take a shOwer
davepoobond: ooOoh
davepoobond: hey
davepoobond: whats round but not real
Soup Nazi: your pea brain
Soup Nazi: lol
davepoobond: NO
davepoobond: your MOM
davepoobond: hahahahaha
davepoobond: i dont get it
Soup Nazi: shes not round
davepoobond: blah
Blind Bubba: drummin…
davepoobond: god
davepoobond: stop yer drummin then
davepoobond: haha. i saw you when i was driving
Blind Bubba: yahu bastard
davepoobond: i woulda given you a ride, but i knew your mom was pry coming
davepoobond: yer on
elmoisfurry: die
softballgur: hey
softballgur: a/s/l again i forget
davepoobond: uhh
davepoobond: what
davepoobond: i never told it to you
softballgur: a/s/l
davepoobond: 12/bisexual/louisiana
softballgur: female or male?
davepoobond: whats that?
softballgur: r u a boy or a gurl?
davepoobond: both
softballgur: what?
softballgur: were u born a boy or a girl
davepoobond: i dont know
softballgur: how don’t u no
davepoobond: because all the doctors say i am a boy and girl
softballgur: r u half a gurl but the half a boy
davepoobond: uh i gues
softballgur: * so ur half boy and half gurl
softballgur: ummm ok
davepoobond: ya
davepoobond: thats it
davepoobond: i asked my mom and she said yes
softballgur: o
softballgur: do u have a dick?
davepoobond: ya
davepoobond: of course
davepoobond: thats what makes me half a guy
softballgur: do u have brest
davepoobond: yeah
davepoobond: do you
Previous message was not received by softballgur because of error: User softballgur is not available.
softballgur: hey
softballgur: a/s/;
davepoobond: hi
softballgur: *a/s/l
davepoobond: 5/m/3tits City
davepoobond: you
softballgur: ur 5 years old?
davepoobond: um yeah
davepoobond: i’m just trying to get some
davepoobond: i’m sorry
davepoobond: i barely know how to type
davepoobond: my mom is typing for me
softballgur: ha
davepoobond: say hi mom
davepoobond: hi mom
davepoobond: see thats her
softballgur: hello
softballgur: sup?
davepoobond: nothing. i’m bored so i’m typing for little chester here
softballgur: kool
davepoobond: here, i’ll let chester do something
davepoobond:
davepoobond: that’s enough chester
davepoobond: i beat him everyday so he’s kind of retarded
softballgur: o
softballgur: y do u?
davepoobond: i told you, he’s retarded
softballgur: o
davepoobond: do you want him?
softballgur: no it’s ok
davepoobond: ok..
davepoobond: WANT A MIILLION DOLLARS?! Its FREE!
softballgur: sure
davepoobond: click the link then
davepoobond: did u go
softballgur: ya
davepoobond: k
davepoobond: where’s my money at bitch. i know you were out last night.
DemonHatchet: yes i ws out
DemonHatchet: i am not giving you your money ho
davepoobond: HEY! WHOS THE HO HERE
davepoobond: YOU BE DA HO
DemonHatchet: you ?
DemonHatchet: i be da pimp
davepoobond: …
davepoobond: there seems to be some misunderstanding here
DemonHatchet: yea there is where is MY money?!?!?!
davepoobond: i dont know, but you should give it to me NOW, befo i get you offa da program
davepoobond: and OUT of the system
DemonHatchet: but it is my moneyyou work for me
davepoobond: no, you work for ME
davepoobond: you get da money
davepoobond: i protect you
davepoobond: and you give me dat money
DemonHatchet: no no no you work for my little cousin
davepoobond: o i pop you in da nose
davepoobond: your little cousing!
davepoobond: WAT BOY
davepoobond: OR GIRL
DemonHatchet: yea my little cousin
davepoobond: WHATEVER THE HELL YOU ARE LAST
davepoobond: hold on my momma wants to talk to you
DemonHatchet: boyee i gon cap you ass….
davepoobond: who is this
davepoobond: what the HELL are you doing talking to my son
davepoobond: you should be doing less talking and more giving money to him
DemonHatchet: just having a civilized chat madame
DemonHatchet: and he works for me
davepoobond: BULLLLLLLL SHIT
davepoobond: MY SON WORKS FOR NO ONE
davepoobond: I DIDNT RAISE HIM TO BE A SLAVE
DemonHatchet: yes he does
DemonHatchet: no you raised him to be an employee…
DemonHatchet: he gets a salary of a niclke a month
davepoobond: HOW DAAAAAAAREEEEEEEE YOU
davepoobond:
davepoobond:
davepoobond:
davepoobond: that’s enough momaa
davepoobond: you best pay me ‘fore this day is out
DemonHatchet: oh i am so sorry you wanted THAT money ok i will give you your nickle … just write to the office building … and the director of personel will give you your nickle …
davepoobond: nickles dont do good here
davepoobond: nickels do
DemonHatchet: yea your nickel
DemonHatchet: get it ! or i will fire you
davepoobond: fire me! i fire you!
davepoobond: bitch!
davepoobond: get outta my face
DemonHatchet: no you don’t!
davepoobond: WE ARE DONE TALKING
davepoobond: DONT BE FLAPPIN YER TRAP NO MO
DemonHatchet: I am not in your face i am lounging in my computer chair
davepoobond: I DONE WITH YOU
DemonHatchet: i am typing … foo
DemonHatchet: i think i am done wit chu
DemonHatchet: hello ?
DemonHatchet: are you dead ?
davepoobond: i thought we were DONE
DemonHatchet: no i thought you died! HURRAH you’re alive!!!
davepoobond: i’m done with you
davepoobond: give me my money and go away
DemonHatchet: no it is me who is done with you
davepoobond: fine
davepoobond: dont be ‘spectin any more protection
DemonHatchet: i am going to give you your nickel
DemonHatchet: this is funn
DemonHatchet: in fact for amusing me i am giving you a 100% raise you now get a dime every month
davepoobond: that means you give me 50 dollars
davepoobond: 100% of 5 equals 50
davepoobond: didnt you ever go to ho school, ho
davepoobond: the pimp always gets 1 zero on the end of a 100% increase
DemonHatchet: 100% of 5cents is 5 cents
davepoobond: AHEM
DemonHatchet: adding that to 5 is 10 which= a dime
davepoobond: didn’t you learn ANYTHING
DemonHatchet: yea i learned how to nap
davepoobond: .
DemonHatchet: i only payed attention in kindergraden
DemonHatchet: *paid
davepoobond: whos Attention
DemonHatchet: my half brother from kansas my step father was high when he named him
DemonHatchet: i gave him a cookie
davepoobond: what brand
DemonHatchet: oreo
davepoobond: ah HA
DemonHatchet: ?
davepoobond: how did i KNOW you were going to say that
DemonHatchet: becuase you like oreos
DemonHatchet: and they taste good
DemonHatchet: do you know why you knew i was gonna say oreo ?
davepoobond: yeah
davepoobond: because all people that use oreos are hypocrites
DemonHatchet: iu am a hypocrite? it is you who are the htpocrite …. you lied about your mother she was you!
DemonHatchet: either that or you have multiple personality disorders
davepoobond: shut up
DemonHatchet: well if you are going to continue the funny i will brb
DemonHatchet: no
DemonHatchet: can i call you mr paperclip ?
DemonHatchet: ok fine then later mr paper clip … feel free to im me again it was funny