davepoobond: give me free gold
davepoobond: hello? are you giving gold
Dogooder: comment ca va?
davepoobond: hello?
davepoobond: are you there?
Dogooder: est tu?
davepoobond: como se dice give me free gold
davepoobond: ?
davepoobond: hello?
Category Archives: Chat Logs
These are Lame Chats and Stupid IMs
WoW Chat #21624: davepoobond -> Dfang
In Stranglethorn Vale, we were about to fight for the Gurubashi Arena Trinket…
–
davepoobond: guess we’re fightin for the trinket?
Dfang: guess so
Dfang: gonna smash his face into the ground
davepoobond: who
Dfang: lol mt
davepoobond: right
Dfang: yeah i fail
WoW Chat #21623: Alorgantari -> davepoobond
I was selling shitty, incomplete, gray sets with no stats on them in trade chat.
–
Alorgantari: got any leather?
davepoobond: yeah
davepoobond: [Frozen Leather Helmet] [Frozen Shoulderpads]
davepoobond: [Frozen Armor] [Frozen Bracers]
davepoobond: [Frozen Belt] [Frozen Pants]
davepoobond: [Frozen Boots]
davepoobond: missing 1 piece, so its 50g
Alorgantari: looks lame lol
davepoobond: thats the point 😉
davepoobond: thats the point 😉
Alorgantari: 5g
Alorgantari: deal or no deal
davepoobond: no deal, sorry id rather vendor lol
Alorgantari: lol
davepoobond: tryin to trick a trickster
davepoobond: will get you nowhere fast
Alorgantari: lol
Alorgantari: im the trickest
Alorgantari: u got nothin on my beerz
davepoobond: sorry but your terrible grammar and spelling eludes me from understanding your point
WoW Chat #21622: Aggo -> davepoobond
Aggo: The game, you’re always playing it, you can never stop, you’re winning as long as you dont think about it, but when you think about it you lose
Aggo: The game, you’re always playing it, you can never stop, you’re winning as long as you dont think about it, but when you think about it you lose
Aggo: The game, you’re always playing it, you can never stop, you’re winning as long as you dont think about it, but when you think about it you lose
davepoobond: who are you
Aggo: I’m Kenny Rogers
davepoobond: why are you on my computer
Aggo: because i love you
davepoobond: i am sorry but i do not illicit emotion
davepoobond: please retry input
Aggo: I’m Kenny Rogers
davepoobond: Hello, Kenny Rogers. I am Fron.
davepoobond: Awaiting user input…
davepoobond: Please type /help if you need help.
Aggo: Error Message 535: Windows has shut down to prevent further damage to your computer.
davepoobond: I do not recognize that error, I am sorry.
davepoobond: Please type /help if you need help.
Facebook Message #21483: davepoobond -> Abegail
davepoobond gets a friend request from some random person named Abegail. davepoobond sends a message to this person to figure out if he knows her (which he knows he doesn’t.)
–
davepoobond: do i know you?
Abegail: im sorry about ur ask im not do
–
And, not surprisingly, their profile was deleted since it was probably a spammer.
Apple Live Chat #21331
• You are chatting with David J, an Apple Expert
David J: Hi, my name is David J. Welcome to Apple!
David J: Good evening!
davepoobond: Hello
David J: How may I assist you?
David J: Hello!
davepoobond: I was just clicking around and saw the Live Chat thing, but I think i may have already solved my own problem cause i opened an expresslane thing
davepoobond: my mouse’s mouse ball stopped working
davepoobond: and this is the second mouse im on, i have applecare and all
David J: I’m sorry to hear that.
David J: Did you rub the mouse button over a cleaning cloth? Sometimes that will clear it up.
davepoobond: i did, and in doing so the mouse ball seemed to start getting damaged
davepoobond: i see some stripping on the mouse ball
David J: It would still be covered under the Applecare plan if it is defective.
David J: You can continue on the express lane and contact AppleCare or call them tomorrow at 1800-275-2273
David J: 9-9 EST daily.
davepoobond: and i tried it after i cleaned it and the clicks dont seem to work either.
davepoobond: thank you, i’ll definitely call them tomorrow
David J: Is there anything else I can help you with?
davepoobond: do you have tips on how i can avoid this again with my next mouse, though?
David J: What operating system are you using?
davepoobond: mac
davepoobond: os x
David J: Tiger? Leopard? Snow Leopard?
davepoobond: Snow Leopard
David J: How much ram is your computer using?
davepoobond: 1 gig
David J: Here’s an interesting thing that happened with my mouse.
David J: I had the same problem with the trackball not working often. But when I upgraded to more ram in my computer, it works perfectly fine.
davepoobond: ah interesting
David J: Do you know if you can upgrade your ram?
davepoobond: yeah the apple book told me i could
David J: Go ahead and give AppleCare a call and see what they recommend. Then ask them about upgrading the ram to see if that can help.
davepoobond: will do. sounds like an awesome idea
David J: 1800-275-2273
David J: 9-9 EST daily.
David J: Is there anything else I can help you with?
davepoobond: yeah, just so that i know you’re not completely nuts, please just tell me you were joking about the ram thing
David J: Actually, no it worked!
David J: I upgraded from 2gb of ram to 8gb and my mouse no longer has trouble scrolling.
David J: Maybe it was just coincidental, but I haven’t had an issue with it at all!
davepoobond: i dont believe in coincidence. i belive in fate.
David J: Do you have an Apple store near you?
davepoobond: yeah
David J: You can take the mouse by the store and test it out and see if it works with more ram!
David J: If not, then let the store take a look at it and see if it is defective and in need of being replaced.
David J: They can also show you how to clean it properly.
davepoobond: awesome, sounds like a plan.
David J: Is there anything else I can help you with?
davepoobond: No, thank you, i appreciate your help.
David J: Thank you for visiting the Apple Store. We appreciate your business. If you would like more help, please chat with us again.
#21268: dys4iK -> sweet_thang_for_u_2002
While reading this, keep in mind that dys4iK is not Josh. Whoever he was, he’s fucked now. “dys4iK is NOT Josh, never was, and never will be.”
–
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: hey hey hey
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: sup josh
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: hey did u ever call tracy?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: our grad. practice is thur right?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: hey u there?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh???
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u called tracy right
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: y u ignoring me???????
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i’m ur girlfriend!!!!!!!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: talk to me
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: look
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i dont know what ur deal has been lately
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i mean come on josh
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: we were prom queen adn king and this is how u act!!!!!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: fine whatever
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ignore me
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: fine
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: see if i care
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ok what the fuck!!!!!!!!!
dys4iK: bot.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: r u gonna talk to me or not
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: bot???
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: huh?
dys4iK: I have no clue who the hell you are,
dys4iK: but this sure is interesting,.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh!!!
dys4iK: you’re josh?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what is wrong with u
dys4iK: I thought I was supposed to be josh.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what is ur deal
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: r u drunk
dys4iK: I think you should go find the right Josh.
dys4iK: I wish I was drunk…
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: whatever
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i know its u
dys4iK: haha.
dys4iK: ok.
dys4iK: how’d you find me?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u r goin to grad. tomorrow right
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ur on my list
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: duh!!!!!!!!!!
dys4iK: I’m not going anywhere tommorow night.
dys4iK: I spend my days sitting at my computer,
dys4iK: jerking off to weird porn.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: whatever
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: y r u adcting like this
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: jsoh what is wrong with u??
dys4iK: ’cause i’m in hard drugs.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u told me u never did drugs
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u said u quit
dys4iK: I lied.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: so u were lying?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what??????????
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: omg
dys4iK: in fact,
dys4iK: I could be on drugs,
dys4iK: _right now)_
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: !!!!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: y do u always pull this shit
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ur goin off to osu next year
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: and ur doin drugs
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what is ur deal
dys4iK: yep.
dys4iK: drugs and college.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: omg
dys4iK: hoo-rah.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i cant beleive that
dys4iK: yep
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: did u ever call tracy
dys4iK: I’ve gotta go fuck my sister now.
dys4iK: back in a bit.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: and explaoin to her ur stayin with me
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what!!!!!!!!!!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ur sister is only 8
dys4iK: oh, hey, right.
dys4iK: ok.
dys4iK: my cousin, then.
dys4iK: how old are my cousins?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh u know how old ur cousins are
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: dont be stupid
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: r u high?
dys4iK: I can’ help it,
dys4iK: it’s the drugs.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what is ur deal josh
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: god
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ok
dys4iK: my deal?
dys4iK: ten bucks an hour.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: we can get through this
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: jsut call me
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: did u call tracy
dys4iK: who’s tracy?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: tracy randlof
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: remember
dys4iK: sure.
dys4iK: she was a nice lay.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u were gonna tell her u wer datin me
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what!!!!!!!!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u slept with here
dys4iK: of course.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u told me u didnt
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: omg
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: (
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh i’m crying b/c of u
dys4iK: her and some other girl.
dys4iK: it was fun!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: JOSH
dys4iK: and some guy.
dys4iK: I think.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: WHAT IS WROGN WITH U
dys4iK: I can’t really remember.
dys4iK: the world was funny colours at the time.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: OH SO NOW UR GAY
dys4iK: no, not gay.
dys4iK: not yet.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: WHEN DID ALL THIS HAPPEN
dys4iK: but if you keep this up, maybe.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: DONT EVEN SAY PROM NIGHT
dys4iK: it happened tommorow!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: TOMORROW???
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what?
dys4iK: yeah.
dys4iK: tommorow.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ummmmm
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh
dys4iK: yeah?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i’m gonna come over ok
dys4iK: over to canada?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: canada??
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what are u talkin about
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u dont seem to good
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: im comin over
dys4iK: I already told you I’m not josh.
dys4iK: but you seem to believe I am,
dys4iK: so I’m playing the part.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: whatever
dys4iK: but, I can’t play it in person.
dys4iK: sorry.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i’m gonna break up with u
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: we are over
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: 9 months of nothing
dys4iK: yep.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i know its u cuz of the name
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i’m not stupid
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: god
dys4iK: yeah.
dys4iK: such a stupid name.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: well i’m on my way over
dys4iK: ok.
dys4iK: see you in a few days.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: we can have break up sex
dys4iK: hoo-rah.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: tehn i’m leaving
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ok
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: for good
dys4iK: yay.
dys4iK: you promise to never phone?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i cant beleive u slept with tracy
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ur supposed to be mad
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: and begging me to stay
dys4iK: why would I be mad?
dys4iK: oh, sorry.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: b/c i’m leaving u
dys4iK: please don’t leave me!
dys4iK: please stay!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ugh
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: whatever
dys4iK: wahhhh!
dys4iK: *cries*
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: uknow what
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: forget
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: it
dys4iK: ok!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i’m not comin over
dys4iK: gladly!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: screw u
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: dont talk to me ever again
dys4iK: you don’t want to get into the threesome?
dys4iK: hey, speaking of which,
dys4iK: I should get back to sex.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ugh
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: who is there
dys4iK: tracy.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ………….
dys4iK: ……………..!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: (
dys4iK: come on.
dys4iK: you enjoyed it too.
dys4iK: I know about you two.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what!!!!!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ummmmm
dys4iK: when you got drunk?
dys4iK: at some party.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i dont know what ur talkin about
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ……………..
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: well
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: that was a long time ago
dys4iK: there you go.
dys4iK: see?
dys4iK: it was fun.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i was drunk josh
dys4iK: deal with it.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: so what if it was
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: that was a ont time thing
dys4iK: I can’t fix all your female, hyper-inflated ego disorders.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what has gotten itno u
dys4iK: I told you!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i cant beleive this!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dys4iK: drugs.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: (
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i’m tellin ur parents
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u need help
dys4iK: when I figure out who you are…
dys4iK: haha.
dys4iK: ok.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: who I am!!!!
dys4iK: except, my mom is shooting up in the bathroom,
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: wat do u mean by that
dys4iK: and dad is drunk with some other woman.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ummm, she is at my house
dys4iK: she is?
dys4iK: since when?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: and ur dad and my dad are out of town on a business trip
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: so what are u talkin about
dys4iK: hey, whoa.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: she has been here all da
dys4iK: our dads are fucking?
dys4iK: when did that start?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: whatever
dys4iK: that’s pretty crazy.
dys4iK: think they’d let us join in?
dys4iK: with tracy, too?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ???????????
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u sick bastard
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: god
dys4iK: haha.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u r soooooooooooooo immature
dys4iK: I’m immature?
dys4iK: yes, I suppose I am.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i cant beleive i wasted 9 months with u
dys4iK: neither can I.
dys4iK: you fell for me like a brick in water.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dys4iK: that was funny.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: X-(
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: no u fell for me
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u begged me to get with u
dys4iK: haha.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i turned u down 3 times
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: remember
dys4iK: yeah. tracy told me to keep asking, though.
dys4iK: she thought if I got you to go out with me,
dys4iK: we could have a threesome.
dys4iK: or something.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: lol
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: whatever
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u wisj
dys4iK: pretty clever, eh?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u know now that i think about it
dys4iK: wasn’t my idea.
dys4iK: she was the one who wanted you.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i only liked u b/c of ur car
dys4iK: I have a car?
dys4iK: cool!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ummmm yeah
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ur spider eclipse
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: duh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: thas y i dated u
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: not cuz of the looks
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: although u do look godd
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: good
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ur nothin w/o me
dys4iK: hey, yeah?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: and u know it
dys4iK: what are you, then?
dys4iK: cheesecake!
dys4iK: haha!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: huh?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: cheescake?
dys4iK: yeah.
dys4iK: you’re a cheesecake.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: how?
dys4iK: now that everyone’s seen pictures of you naked.
dys4iK: heh heh.
dys4iK: but hey, you made some lonely geeks happy for a night.,
dys4iK: =)
dys4iK: it was kind of you.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: keep what going
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: our relationship
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: yeah right
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: dream on
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: we’re over
dys4iK: hey, you’re back.
dys4iK: hi again!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: y r u makin a joke out of this???????
dys4iK: because i have no idea who you are!
dys4iK: but this sure is fun.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: prove it to me that ur not josh
dys4iK: how about you prove that I _am_ josh!
dys4iK: =)
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ok
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what was our prom theme
dys4iK: uh.
dys4iK: underwater?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: omg
dys4iK: or that may have been the drugs. =D
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i told u ur josh
dys4iK: oh, right.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what do i look like
dys4iK: yeah.
dys4iK: uh.
dys4iK: fat, ugly.
dys4iK: lot of acne down your back.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ummm wrong
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: wrong
dys4iK: blue hair.
dys4iK: purple eyes!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ????
dys4iK: you have this weird bump on your back,
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: am i a cheerelader
dys4iK: but noone will tell you.
dys4iK: a cheerleader? hey, cool.
dys4iK: i dated a cheerleader!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i know
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: cuz u dated me
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: duh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dys4iK: duhh!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: lol
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: there’s teh old josh
dys4iK: whatever!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: aw
dys4iK: you’re so funny.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i knew it was u baby
dys4iK: whatever! duhhhh!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: awwww
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh lets not break up
dys4iK: you’re pretty thick, aren’t you?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: lol
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh u r the best i’ve ever had if u know what i eman
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i dont wanna loose u
dys4iK: you should smoke some crack with me tonight.
dys4iK: come over right now.
dys4iK: let’s smoke some crack.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: the way u touch me
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i dont want to loose u
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: lets not break up
dys4iK: yeah. your skin is sort of clammy, though.
dys4iK: what, with being a vampire, and all.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ??????????
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i’m not clammhy
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i use pure silk lotion from batha and body
dys4iK: Sammy the Clam!
dys4iK: pure silk lotion?
dys4iK: doesn’t silk come out of the ass of worms?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ???????????????
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i dont know
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: jsoh
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i want u so bad right now
dys4iK: so finger yourself, or something.
dys4iK: I’m not sticking myself back in there.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i alreadly am
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: wahtever
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u know u want this
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i’ll wear my cheerleading outfit for you
dys4iK: ew.
dys4iK: I hate cheerleaders.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: no u dont silly
dys4iK: will you wear a strapon?
dys4iK: and fuck me in the ass?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: the way i can straddle u
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u luv it
dys4iK: hey, will you let my dog fuck you?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ummmmmmmm
dys4iK: do it!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: when did u get a dog
dys4iK: you can smoke crack first.
dys4iK: I’ll get a dog!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: no
dys4iK: so it can fuck you.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: NO
dys4iK: and I’ll videotape it.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i wanna video tape u and me
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i want u
dys4iK: I want me, too.
dys4iK: but I’m with tracy now!
dys4iK: sorry!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u mean u want me
dys4iK: I’m madly in love with you.
dys4iK: the drugs are fucking with my head.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: awwwwwwwww
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh
dys4iK: I don’t know what i’m doing anymore.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i love you too
dys4iK: marry me?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: awwww
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: its ok baby
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u want to marry me
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh
dys4iK: I was lying about tracy!
dys4iK: I just wanted to make you feel jealous!
dys4iK: seriously!~
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: we just grad
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: awwwww
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: really
dys4iK: no.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: awwwwww
dys4iK: i was lying again.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ?????
dys4iK: ’cause it’s funny to watch you awwwww at me.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh
dys4iK: yeah?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: do u really luv me
dys4iK: I need more drugs.
dys4iK: I love drugs.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: no jsoh no
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: no
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u luv me
dys4iK: I love drugs!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: no josh
dys4iK: I need a dimebag of hash to go with this.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: quit sayin that
dys4iK: and I’m running low on needles.
dys4iK: gotta start reusing needles.
dys4iK: damnit!
dys4iK: fucking hell.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh
dys4iK: oh well.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: stop
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: quit
dys4iK: I’ll microwave them.
dys4iK: stop what?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ur actin weird
dys4iK: I’m jonesing.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: huh
dys4iK: I gotta go fix myself up.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what does that mean
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh
dys4iK: coming down.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i got my nipples pierced today
dys4iK: hey, me too!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: really!!!!!!!!!
dys4iK: no.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i did i t jes for u
dys4iK: why? you’re supposed to hate me, bitch.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: so u can play with them
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i dont hate u
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i luve u
dys4iK: you keep telling me you do!
dys4iK: stop the lying!
dys4iK: oh god, I can’t take it anymore!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: well i an forgive u
dys4iK: fucking hell!
dys4iK: I should just oD.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: nooooooooo
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh wait
dys4iK: it’d be fun.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i’m coming over right now
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ok
dys4iK: go for it.
dys4iK: you know where I live.
dys4iK: (I don’t.)
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ok i’ll be over in 20 min
dys4iK: ok!
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ok baby
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i
dys4iK: I’ll be waiting.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i’m coming
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i love u
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ……………
dys4iK: …………………….
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: say it to me josh
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: please
dys4iK: I’ll go get the strapon.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i’m on my way over now
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: bye babe
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: c u soon
dys4iK: bye!
Session Close (sweet_thang_for_u_2002): Thu May 30 19:17:53 2002
#21238: Matt Sussman -> Matt Cary
Matt Sussman and Matt Cary talking about the Randall Simon incident…
–
Matt Sussman: but I’ll be frank
Matt Sussman: the person inside the costume should relish this moment
Matt Sussman: because what Randall Simon did just doesn’t cut the mustard
Matt Sussman: and after she fell down… no way could she ketchup
Matt Cary: Oh my gosh, stop youre killing me
Matt Cary: thats so many in a row
Matt Sussman: I think that last joke was the wurst one
Matt Cary: Yeah, that last frank joke wasnt worth a hill of beans.
Matt Sussman: yeah, it made me chili
Matt Sussman: at least I had the onions to keep going
Matt Cary: Yeah, I think now youre just trying to be a hot dog.
Matt Sussman: Thanks. You just brat that to my attention.
Matt Cary: Didnt want you to make yourself look like a weenie.
Matt Sussman: wow. the list of puns we went through is about a foot long
Matt Cary: Baloney.
Matt Sussman: Don’t have a cow.
#21227: Malaky -> Toby
malaky: And then I kill you.
Toby: *dies*
malaky: I didn’t kill you yet. Come back to life.
Toby: *cast Life level 3*
Toby: *revived*
malaky: now die.
Toby: *dies*
malaky: Very well, now that you are dead, come back to life and discuss 19th Century politics with me.
Toby: *cast Life level 3*
Toby: *revived*
malaky: The Whig Party: Why couldn’t they elect a president that would live?
Toby: It’s damn near impossible.
Toby: All of our presidents have been Masons.
Toby: Except Kennedy, who was killed for not being a Mason.
malaky: You bring a good point, but what did slavery have to do with it all?
Toby: Masons used to be all about slavery until they finally let African Americans become Masons. Then it was all over.
malaky: The downfall of humanity, you mean?
Toby: I’d say so.
malaky: Then let me ask this: Who made John Travolta a star?
Toby: I would imagine that was not an act of the Masons, but someone sold their soul for that one.
malaky: Wouldn’t that be two souls? The man came close to an Oscar.
Toby: Nah, Oscars are the work of Masons.
malaky: And the Billboard Music Awards?
Toby: Nah, that stuff’s just retarded.
malaky: Then why haven’t the Masons killed Osama Bin Laden yet?
Toby: they’re workin’ on that.
Toby: they gotta get the European Masons more involved.
malaky: Damn them to hell.
malaky: Damn them…….to hell.
Toby: Oh, they’re waiting.
Toby: They’ve got a meeting in hell in 2015
malaky: Really? Hell? I thought they closed down that convention hall after the Nazis tried reforming again.
Toby: Nah, they reformed it.
malaky: Oh. Bummer.
malaky: You a member?
Toby: If I were, I wouldn’t be able to tell you I was unless you were one.
malaky: I see your point.
malaky: Toby, is Tina Fey hot?
Toby: Hello Fellow Mason.
Toby: *does the handshake*
Toby: *whew* I was wondering when you’d say the password.
malaky: I take my time.
Toby: That’s good. So how’s the business?
malaky: corrupt.
Toby: just what we like to hear!
malaky: I’m being prosecuted, so I’m fleeing jurisdiction.
Toby: Where to?
malaky: Now if I told you, wouldn’t that be breaking one of the cardinal rules?
Toby: nope, unless you were going somewhere other than the designated Mason refugee camps.
malaky: Oh. In that case, I am going to one of the designated refugee camps.
malaky: And if people ask, my name is Father Hernotwith and I have been holy my entire life.
Toby: We wouldn’t have it any other way.
malaky: I’ve also considered hiding in a dishwasher.
Toby: Ooh, primo choice. What kind of soap will you be using?
malaky: I haven’t decided yet.
Toby: May I suggest Pine?
malaky: You may.
malaky: But I’m still selling my child for food money.
Toby: those food stamps are worth a lot.
malaky: Is 50 a good price?
Toby: Per stamp, yes.
Toby: I’d shoot for 55, though.
Toby: Just say “you’re breakin my balls here.”
malaky: For good measure, I’d actually break their balls in return right?
Toby: Oh ya, but it was supposed to be a threat.
malaky: In that case, I’m sleeping with your mother’s favorite goat.
malaky: And we’re expecting.
Toby: Shultzy doesn’t understand Masonry.
malaky: You can’t deny my love for the goat forever you know.
malaky: sometimes, when I’m asleep at night, I dream of a new basement. Is this abnormal?
Toby: Not in the least.
malaky: And it has three TVs. What does this symbolize.
Toby: you like TV?
malaky: Actually, I like the refrigerator more.
malaky: Dude, food just appears in that thing.
Toby: Food is SOOOO good!
malaky: One time, I ate so much food that I ate more.
malaky: I’d just like to say that Harry Potter is a hermaphrodite.
Toby: He told me personally.
malaky: Good news should be spread.
Toby: I’ll kill that fucker.
malaky: If you do, pick up Dave Matthews on the way.
malaky: And we’ll hold hands, sit in a circle, and declare how manly we are.
Toby: i hate that fucker.
malaky: I think I love citrus. Is there something wrong with me?
Toby: Citrus is a flavor for all.
#21207: CrazyOlDan -> Matt Sussman
CrazyOlDan: Wanna hear a bad joke I just made up one second ago
Matt Sussman: let’s hear it
CrazyOlDan: you have no choice… unless you block me or don’t read the next thing I type
Matt Sussman:: You probably shouldn’t build this up
CrazyOlDan: ok…what do you get when you mix a crucifix and a dresser?
CrazyOlDan: …a cross dresser!
CrazyOlDan: man i am the funniest kid alive
Matt Sussman: This is why you don’t write for me anymore.
WoW Chat #21144
I hearth back to Stormwind and see Jake talking in General Chat…
–
[1] [Jake]: and im gonna contest it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[1] [Sharlo]: gl with that
[1] [davepoobond]: contest?
[1] [davepoobond]: what do you win
[1] [Jake]: your mom
[1] [davepoobond]: sounds like a loser’s prize
[1] [Jake]: it is
[1] [davepoobond]: so what do you actually win
[1] [Jake]: don worry bout it
[1] [davepoobond]: who’s he
[1] [Jake]: you migh be one of the smartest people in wow
[1] [davepoobond]: wow, thank you. if it wasnt laced with an amazing amount of credulity i might just be appreciative
[1] [Jake]: shut up
[1] [Jake]: you are your child’s best role model
[1] [davepoobond]: im going to contest that statement Jake
[1] [Jake]: im going to contest you
[1] [davepoobond]: wow thank you, sounds fun
[1] [Jake]: are you trying to troll me or something? do you realize that’s a word?
[1] [davepoobond]: yeah you can make up words every day
[1] [Jake]: lol aright mang
[1] [davepoobond]: see you just did it again like 5 more times
[1] [Jake]: yeah
[1] [Jake]: i made up the word contest
[1] [davepoobond]: you’re cool bro, tell me more about how old you are! LOLOL
[1] [Jake]: im 45 fat balding
[1] [Jake]: and getting ready to blow my brains out
[1] [davepoobond]: lemme guess you walked to school in the snow and it was uphill
[1] [davepoobond]: you’re so old you listen to justin bieber lol
WoW Chat #21143
In World of Warcraft’s trade channel…
–
[2] [Duenun]: does anyone know if enhancement shamans suck now?
[2] [davepoobond]: all shamans suck
[2] [Rabidsquirel]: What’s your definition of suck?
[2] [Duenun]: really??
[2] [davepoobond]: when you get pleasure
[2] [Hanos]: ROFL
WoW Chat #21142: Slushie -> davepoobond
In the trade chat channel, in World of Warcraft, I was spouting:
“WTS [Fiery Warhorse’s Reins] mount RUN – 250g or best offer, pst! If it drops its yours! READ THIS BEFORE WHISPERING ME”
–
Slushie: So wait….you’re asking people to pay you 250g up front for the 1% chance at a mount drop that can easily be soloed by any 85?
davepoobond: yes
davepoobond: im glad you caught on
Slushie: Havent gotten any bites have you
davepoobond: yes, by people who can’t read
Slushie: yeah get used to that
davepoobond: no shit
davepoobond: i make my money solely on exploiting the retards in this game
davepoobond: it brightens my day knowing there’s someone of lesser intelligence than i
WoW Chat #21141: Nightwoker -> davepoobond
In the trade chat channel in World of Warcraft, I was spouting:
“WTS [Fiery Warhorse’s Reins] mount RUN – 250g or best offer, pst! If it drops its yours! READ THIS BEFORE WHISPERING ME”
–
Nightwoker: hm is it
Nightwoker: i mean lvl
davepoobond: what?
Nightwoker: nvm
Nightwoker: wrong person
WoW Chat #21140: Ghoest -> davepoobond
I was doing the Rock Lobster fishing daily in Stormwind when…
–
Ghoest: how do you cloleck them
davepoobond: what
Ghoest: the lobster it ownt let me
davepoobond: idk man you right click them
Ghoest: dont got that option AHHHH