Mary had a little lamb, a lobster and some prunes,
A hunk of beef, a chicken leg and then some macaroons.
It made the naughty waiters grin to see her order so,
and when they carried Mary out her face was white as snow.
Tag Archives: waiter
Quote #21478
“Waiter, there’s a hair in my sushi!”
– Boxtop11
Joke #18293
Knock-knock!
Who’s there?
Waiter.
Waiter who?
Waiter (wait till) your father gets home!
Joke #17764
Diner: “Waiter, what’s this fly doing in my soup?”
Waiter: “Looks like the backstroke, sir!”
Joke #13068
MR. CHEAP: “How much does a cup of coffee cost?”
WAITER: “30 cents.”
MR. CHEAP: “How much for a refill?”
WAITER: “A refill is free.”
MR. CHEAP: “Great! I’ll have a refill.”
Joke #12955
WAITER: “What will you have to drink?”
CUSTOMER: “I’ll have ginger ale.”
WAITER: “Pale?”
CUSTOMER: “Oh, no. Just a glass will do.”
Joke #12859
CUSTOMER: “Waiter, the food in this restaurant tastes terrible.”
WAITER: “I’m sorry you don’t like it, sir. Are there any other complaints?”
CUSTOMER: “Yes. Your portions are much too small.”
Joke #12161
Did you hear about the Siamese twins who asked their waiter for separate checks?
Joke #11978
OVERHEARD (in restaurant):
PATRON: “Do you have pig’s feet?”
WAITER: “No. These are new shoes and I just walk that way.”
Joke #11954
Talk about cheap restaurants! I ordered hot chocolate and the waiter brought me an empty cup, a match, and a chocolate bar!
Joke #11953
MAN: “A cup of coffee without cream, please.”
WAITER: “We’re out of cream, sir, but I can give you a cup of coffee without milk.”
Joke #11507
Q: Why did the football player complain to the waiter?
A: There was a fly in his soup-er bowl.
Joke #11184
Q: Why was Spider-Man offended when the waiter brought his soup?
A: There was no fly in it.
Joke #9183
A man lunching at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with forks, not chopsticks. He asked why. The waiter said “Chopsticks were provided only on request.”
“But,” the man countered, “if you gave your patrons chopsticks, you wouldn’t have to pay someone to wash all the forks.”
“True,” the waiter shot back, “but we would have to hire three more people to clean up the mess.”
gewler
gewler – n. an elf dressed like a waiter