Tag Archives: video

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#22095: DonutLover -> davepoobond

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davepoobond is on a dating site… and then…

–

DonutLover: hey

davepoobond: hi

davepoobond: how’s it going

DonutLover: slowly..tired but not sleepy…

DonutLover: hows your night going

davepoobond: not bad, just trying to waste the last couple of hours of the day before going to sleep

DonutLover: i hear ya

DonutLover: how has this site been for you

davepoobond: pretty crappy actually, dont really get many interactions from people

davepoobond: you’re the 2nd person to actually say more than 1 thing to me heh

davepoobond: how about for you

DonutLover: hah, same deal, i look through these profiles and mostly find myself thinking …why does he have his shirt off or what a retard…i know…harsh critic

davepoobond: i see nothing but variations of “please keep your shirt on” or stuff like that on girls profiles

DonutLover: haha..really

davepoobond: yeah, its getting kinda boring at this point. i dont see any girls without their shirts on, so i’m wondering what i’m missing

DonutLover: im pretty sure theres some sluty gals around….put some effort into looking davepoobond

davepoobond: hahah well that was a joke 😛

DonutLover: “no”,,,,,”really”….?! lol

davepoobond: 😉

davepoobond: so whats your favorite kind of doughnut

DonutLover: Jelly filled…what about you

davepoobond: old-fashioned

davepoobond: as long as it doesnt taste like carrots

davepoobond: ive had one that tasted like carrots, it was very confusing

DonutLover: carrots?…were you high?

DonutLover: Kidding kidding

DonutLover: 🙂

davepoobond: no, it was the morning, so might as well have been

DonutLover: hahaha….

DonutLover: So…how was your monday

davepoobond: it was a normal monday i suppose. went to work and then came back home and watched some netflix

davepoobond: how about yours

DonutLover: well..didnt have to work..apparently its a presidents bday or something..but i did have to go fix some major paperwork mistakes i hid earlier in the week

DonutLover: what do you do for milk money kiddo

davepoobond: well uh Martin Luther King wasn’t a president, but i guess that’s close enough haha 😛

DonutLover: im glad you get my sarcasm..o.0

davepoobond: just makin sure!

davepoobond: i do video editing for an investigations company and freelance video editing as well on the side

DonutLover: sounds….entertaining…..

DonutLover: dot dot dot..lol

davepoobond: very. i’ve always been good with computers, and i love to act smart about things people dont know about, and no one knows anything about video, so therein lies where i make money

davepoobond: and i can rub it in people’s faces too and its easier to act like i know what im doing

DonutLover: arent you charming…hah, i must say i am jealous of tech geeks…there so useful..them and wilderness firefighters..

davepoobond: are you around a lot of fires in the wilderness?

DonutLover: no..but i mean..knowing me..im pretty sure..itll happen

davepoobond: guess it’d be good to keep a pocket fire extinguisher then

DonutLover: they have those?

davepoobond: sure. imagination makes anything possible.

DonutLover: hmmmm….itd be less weight if i just brought a wilderness ff along though

davepoobond: but how would he fit in your pocket

DonutLover: obviously gamers dudes dont use logics much..eh davebond

DonutLover: id carry him on my back

DonutLover: dah

davepoobond: how long have you had a profile for

DonutLover: not sure..i made it along time ago.and havent been on in a while…

davepoobond: into any movies at all?

DonutLover: classics…what are you into

davepoobond: everything

DonutLover: agh…thats specific

davepoobond: i was a film major, so there isn’t a movie that i can’t or won’t watch

davepoobond: the absolute worst movie i have ever seen was Da Hip Hop Witch

davepoobond: and i almost turned it off it was so terrible

DonutLover: haha…awkward

DonutLover: why were you even watching it?

davepoobond: whats your favorite classic movie then

davepoobond: cause i heard Eminem was in it, and that it was supposed to be a parody of The Blair Witch Project

davepoobond: and i thought he was going to be going through the woods with some middle schoolers

davepoobond: but it was nothing like that at all

DonutLover: hahahaha…goodness….i like how that appeals to you..well my classics are not the norms of the designated, i just prefer black and whites, anything with spencer tracey and older war flics..

davepoobond: spencer tracey huh.

DonutLover: for some reason i have no interest in modern comedy..like those bachlor films

DonutLover: tracy gable wayne..i know im a patriot

davepoobond: touch of evil and philadelphia are a couple of ones ive seen that i like

davepoobond: citizen kane until the end was great. i thought the ending was dumb

DonutLover: ive never seen citizen kane

DonutLover: what happens at the ending

davepoobond: geez i cant spoil the ending for you

davepoobond: there’d be no point in watching it

DonutLover: exactly

DonutLover: help a stranger out

DonutLover: odds are….youll enjoy it

davepoobond: enjoy what?

davepoobond: spoiling a movie?

DonutLover: haha….fine ill google it

DonutLover: goodness

davepoobond: at least im not the catalyst

DonutLover: you and your big words

davepoobond: indubitably

DonutLover: i concure

DonutLover: cure

DonutLover: hah

davepoobond: making up words now? awkward

DonutLover: awkwardly awesome

davepoobond: that was actually an inside joke.

davepoobond: cause i’ve made about oh i dont know… 6000 words

DonutLover: and how far has that got ya craphead

davepoobond: i dont know, ill let you know when it gets me somewhere

DonutLover: haha…so i guess well never know then

davepoobond: i found this one girl’s profile where she says she wouldnt mind sleeping on a grave for a first date

DonutLover: shes a keeper

–

She leaves the chat. Apparently she wasn’t very interested.

Site Updates

New Server!

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Hey everyone!

The past couple days I moved Squackle over to a new server.  I think everything is working fine now after a few hours of it not being fine.

I am now on a server that has unlimited space and unlimited bandwidth!  That means I can do… lots of stuff I wasn’t originally planning on doing so soon.

The reason behind me moving was because my old host was apparently shutting down on September 1st.  They say there were many “announcements” of this happening but I saw none of it in any of my email inboxes, only in the off-chance in an unanswered support ticket from them.

So, I’m just glad I caught it in time, and it forced me to move over to a seemingly better server.

A couple of things that are going to happen now that there is unlimited space:

The caching system will reset every week now instead of whenever I get the opportunity to click it since now I have unlimited space, I can leave all the cached pages around.  I don’t usually do a lot of site-wide updates anyway, so this should decrease load times considerably.

Pictures are now a possibility of showing up in updates more often.

I may host videos.

I may host other web sites/blogs (maybe)

Some other shit.

Jokes, (C) Misandry Jokes

Joke #18407

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In my job as an electronics salesman, I’ve seen the rise in popularity of sport-utility vehicles and minivans, which has created a market for rear-seat entertainment. Monitors that keep passengers occupied with movies and television have been selling like crazy.

One day as I was showing a young couple how a monitor could play videos, DVD’s, and even pick up local TV stations, the husband asked matter-of-factly, “Does it get cable?”

Screwed Up Chronicles, World

The Media

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Thank you.

Stories

Star Compactor

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Prologue

I have a three day weekend coming up after finals. I’m going to play video games the whole time. It will be so relaxing. I won’t even have to tink! I can just sit in my room and stare at the TV. I can’t wait. Actually, that will probably never happen. So…anyway, you can read this story I wrote, if you want.

Chapter 1

“Yes, I have finally done it! I have constructed a trash compactor so large, that I will be able to crush the earth with it!” thought Ted, the repair guy from Venus. Ted was a simple man. Well, he was. One day a couple very rich peoplecame and told him to repair all 50 billion of their trash compactors. Ted just snapped. He was used to maybe one or two jobs a month, but this was too much. Ted took the trash compactors, and used them to create a giant trash compactor big enough to crush the Earth.

“Why the Earth, and not Venus?” you might ask? Well, one day he decided that the Earth was much too big, and it would be more efficient as a small cube. He would do the same to Venus, after.

Chapter 2

Bill was walking down the street having a normal day on Earth. He was going to buy a newspaper, then go home and read a book by the fire. The newspaper was for kindling. Suddenly, there was an eclipse. Bob looked up and saw the outline of something very huge that was blocking the sun. It looked a bit like the trash compactor in his kitchen that he used all the “pets” his kids brought home, only much bigger, obviously. Bill could hear a voice coming from the giant thing. This is what it said:

“Hello everyone. This is Ted the repair guy and yes, I am flying a giant trash compactor. Do not be alarmed! I come in peace….well, no, actually I don’t. I’m going to crush your planet into a small cube. I’m sorry if this has caused any inconvenience.”

Bill shrugged and said, “I never thought you could do that with a trash compactor…maybe I’ll crush the moon sometime.” And with that, Ted crushed the Earth and killed everything on it.

Chapter 3

The people of Venus were talking. They were talking about launching nuclear missles at the giant trash compactor. The problem was that they talked too much and Ted crushed them all before they had a chance to stop talking.

Epilogue

This story had one point. Never use trash compactors. You just heard how dangerous they are, so why use them at all? Trash compactors are just plain bad, and that goes for garbaged disposals too. Those things slice and dice things to peices. I can only imagine how many people die each year from the use of garbage disposals. Both of these things are dangerous, and you should avoid them at all costs

Lists

The Top 10 Rejected Motel 6 Slogans

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10. We’re working on that smell thing, too.

9. Because you deserve better than the backseat of some car.

8. As seen on “COPS.”

7. If We’d Known You Were Staying All Night, We’d Have Changed the Sheets.

6. We left off the 9, but you know it’s there.

5. You rented the room, now buy the video.

4. We’ll leave Lysol for ya!

3. We don’t make the adultery. We make the adultery *better*

2. Official Lodging of the 1998 Florida Marlins.

…and the Number 1 Rejected Motel 6 Slogan…

1. We put the “Ho” in Motel.

Guides

How to Make a DVD

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davepoobond: I’ve been through a lot of shit, trying to figure out what I am supposed to do to make a DVD and how I can make a DVD full of movies that me and my friends have made. This is what I have to tell you through my experience

 

1. To have interactive menus, you should have a DVD authoring program, such as Sonic MyDVD, or Ulead MovieFactory. They convert your files into MPEG 2 for you, which is the format you must convert your movie files into, so you can burn it onto DVDs, so they play in most DVD players. Anyway, don’t encode your movies into mpeg 2 using those programs, because you’ll only be able to fit maybe 2 hours or less of footage on there (you won’t be able to change the quality of the video either). If you want 3 or more, then you should get a separate program that converts avi files to MPEG 2. I suggest that you get TMPGEnc Plus (for the encoding), which is a great program. I’ve
downloaded several others, and this is the only one that is free (for 30 days at least), works fast, and best of all has no watermark. You can get it at

www.tmpgenc.com

 

2. Once you get all your files into avi format, put them through TMPGenc, as according to this guide on www.dvdrhelp.com (which is an absolutely faaaaabulous website for anything DVD, VCD, or SVCD related. Its got an enormous amount of information for this kind of stuff)

 

http://www.dvdrhelp.com/tmpgencdvd.htm

 

but instead of having 1:1 VGA, I put 4:3 display. I don’t know if it makes a difference on the TV, but the 4:3 display makes the black bars smaller (as opposed to the 1:1 VGA). The only thing that it affects is when you view the mpeg 2 files themselves (not from the DVD), on the computer. If you’re
going to want to see your movies on your computer at all, you should make it 1:1 VGA then.

 

3. Once you get it all into MPEG 2, put it into your DVD authoring program, you’ll be able to pack a lot more movie time into it, as opposed to if you did it with just the DVD authoring program. I used the TMPGEnc DVD Author program (at the same link above). Also, all this information took me 2 months
to gather, because its hell trying to find a free AVI to MPG2 program without a watermark that you can use for an unlimited amount of video time. Most have a watermark or have it only for 1 minute or 5 minutes or something for maximum conversion time. It’s the goy.