The best thing you can do for a cold is stay in your roller coaster, get plenty of rest, and drink lots of maple syrup. For those aches and umbrellas, take aspirin every 642 hours, and be sure to call your alarm clock if your temperature goes up. Some purple tea or elephant soup can also help a nasty cold. And don’t forget to attack your runny nose with soft tissues. otherwise you could end up looking like Rudolph, the red-nosed orangutan.
Tag Archives: soup
Joke #18722
My husband and I often spell words so that our small children won’t understand what we’re saying. I didn’t realize what a habit this had become until one day when my husband and I were in the grocery store at the soup aisle.
An aggressive young woman banged into our cart, then nudged me over, blocking my access to the soup. Annoyed, I looked at my husband and said, “Boy is she r-u-d-e!”
“Yeah,” he replied, “but I’ll bet she can s-p-e-l-l.”
Joke #17846
Knock-knock!
Who’s there?
Broth
Broth who?
Broth-er, this is good soup.
Joke #17845
Knock-knock!
Who’s there?
Soup du jour.
Soup du jour who?
Soup du jour (shut the door), it’s cold outside!
Joke #17844
SAL: “I hate alphabet soup.”
CAL: “What’s wrong with it?”
SAL: “Do I have to spell it out for you?”
Joke #17764
Diner: “Waiter, what’s this fly doing in my soup?”
Waiter: “Looks like the backstroke, sir!”
The Unfriendly Restaurhaunt and Coffin Shop Moan-U
The following is a menu offered at the Unfriendly Restaurhant and Coffin Shop Moan-U.
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A die-ning delight that will lift your spirits!
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SAND-WITCHES
Boo-loney
Boo-gels and Scream Cheese
Hallow-weenies
Liver-worst
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BOO-VERAGES
Milk Shaaaakes
Ice Scream Floats
Orange Crrrush
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HEX-TRAS
Clammy on the Half Shell
Chilllled Tomb-ato Juice
Deviled Eggs
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SOUPS AND SALADS
L-eeek! Soup
Cream of Asparaghost
Arti-Choke Hearts
Lettuce Alone Salad
Marinated Brussel Shouts
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SIGHED DISHES
Baked Beings
Cre-mated Spinach
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DESS-HURTS
Creep Suzettes
Banana Scream Pie
Sheet Cake
Key Slime Pie
Hot Sludge Shun-dae
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TODAY’S SPE-CHILLS
Spook-ghetti
Souther Fright Chicken
Ghoul-lash
Turkey with Grave-y
Pasta-way
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Breakfast Served from Midnight to 3 A.M. Daily
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CEREALS
Ghost Toasties with Evaporated Milk
Shrouded Wheat
Scream of Wheat
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EGGS
Terri-fried Eggs — Over Easy
Scream-bled Eggs
Three-moan-it Soft-booled Eggs
Stormy-side-up Eggs
Eggs Boonidict
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Cust-tomb-ers: We accept Die-ners Club, Monster Card, and American Hex-press Credit Cards
Joke #17647
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Soup!
Soup, who?
Soup-er natural beings are in this house!
You are on the show Double Dare…
Loading ...Quote #14664
“Randall, is that the way we eat soup?”
– from a movie. Don’t know what this is from
Joke #13133
My kids’ table manners disgust me. You can’t imagine how sickening it is to watch a four-year-old and a five-year-old sip chicken noodle soup through crazy straws.
Joke #12864
You can always tell which people have short lunch breaks. They’re the ones who sip their soup through straws.
Joke #12694
We’re so poor that when we have soup and sandwiches for supper, we can’t even afford the sandwiches.
Joke #11982
I’m a loser. If it was raining soup, I’d be standing outside with a fork.
Joke #11507
Q: Why did the football player complain to the waiter?
A: There was a fly in his soup-er bowl.