try and try until you die
no guts no glory
no brain no gain
no ID no entry
no parking
no jaywalking
Tag Archives: parking
Joke #24695
Q: Where do astronauts leave their spacecraft?
A: At parking meteors.
Which of the following is true about double parking?
Loading ...The Clutch In My Van
Parody of Britney Spears – Touch Of My Hand
–
She learned to drive at an early age….
I’m not ashamed
To use the high beam,
I find myself parking
When the light is green…
When my tires are blown
I practice my show,
And ride my clutch
With the curtains closed…
And I know my poor brain ain’t right…
When I’m standing by your side…
I’m thinking about
My van all the time..
Motor oil is on my mind.
And where & how it will apply
I love my shelves
Covered in sheep skin
I can’t control this van I’m in…
Cause I’ve just discovered,
My van’s taking over…
I’ll have to hide it from my mother-
The more I come
To understand
The clutch in my van…
And where it’s at
In between my seat
Lately Ive been noticing,
The blisters on me..
The wrinkled up skin
When I’m oily & gray,
I’m learning to drive
In a most serious way..
And I know my poor brain ain’t right…
When I’m standing by your side.
I’m thinking about
My van all the time…
Motor oil is on my mind
And where & how it will apply
Cause I’ve just discovered,
My van’s taking over…
I’ll have to hide it from my mother-
The more I come
To understand
The clutch in my van…
Joke #21174
Q: Why are men like parking spaces?
A: Because by the time you get there, the only ones that are left are handicap.
Joke #18423
After driving up and down several lanes, I finally found a parking spot at the shopping mall. I noticed another man driving very slowly in the same direction, and, since he was closer, I gave him the “Are you going to park there?” look.
His responding gestures were very confusing. First he shook his head. Next he pointed at me, then at the parking space and then at himself, his watch and the mall. Finishing off, he frowned, raised his palms upward and shrugged. Once I parked, I walked over to the driver to make sure he didn’t want the space.
“You must be single,” he replied. “If you were married, you would’ve known that was the universal sign for ‘Go ahead and take the spot. I’m waiting for my wife.'”
Joke #18316
OFFICER: “You can’t park there!”
DRIVER: “Why not? The sign says ‘Fine for Parking.'”
Joke #17791
Q: Where do you park a truckload of pigs?
A: In an empty porking place!
Joke #12596
The college I go to is a four-or-five-year institution depending on whether you commute or not. If you don’t commute, it’s a four-year college. If you do commute, it takes you five years to graduate because you waste a whole year looking for a parking place.
Joke #12397
A father told a friend, “I stopped my son from getting to school late by buying him a car.”
“How did that stop his lateness?” asked the friend.
The father answered, “Now he gets there early so he can find a parking space.”
Joke #12353
Did you hear about the dumb patrolman who carried a tool box with him in case he ever had to fix a parking ticket?
Joke #12330
Criminals are getting bolder these days. Last week while handing out a parking ticket, a cop was mugged.
optimist
optimist – n. a person who buys a car and hopes he’ll find a parking space before the car is paid for
;} a person who lights a match before asking to borrow a cigarette
;} a person who starts a diet on Thanksgiving
;} a person who swears off liquor on New Year’s Eve
Joke #11950
Q: What happens to illegally parked frogs?
A: They get toad away.
impopsrupsiba
impopsrupsiba – n. free hotel parking