My husband isn’t too bright. He thinks that in order to make wine, you have to milk the grapes.
Tag Archives: milk
Joke #13076
If I bought one of those toy cows that gives milk, it would probably go dry.
Joke #12469
The price of milk is so high, it’s almost cheaper to buy ice cream and melt it down.
Joke #11953
MAN: “A cup of coffee without cream, please.”
WAITER: “We’re out of cream, sir, but I can give you a cup of coffee without milk.”
Joke #11924
I had F.B.I. Crispies for breakfast this morning. When I poured milk on the cereal, it didn’t talk; it interrogated me.
Joke #11694
Q: Do you know how long cows should be milked in space?
A: Same as the short ones.
Joke #11685
Q: In space, when was milk the highest?
A: When the cow jumped over the moon.
Joke #11459
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.
Joke #11238
Q: Why was the milkman fired after he delivered sour milk?
A: He couldn’t cut the cheese.
Gross-Out Top 5 Lists
Always…
1) Look both ways before crossing the street. (Road kill should always be small animals.)
2) Eat your cereal before it gets soggy. (Gag me with the spoon.)
3) Drink your milk before it gets hot. (Barf, anyone?)
4) Clean those crusty things out of your eyes before you try to walk around in the morning.
5) Give your teacher an apple; just check for worm holes and rotten parts.
–
Never…
1) Eat greasy food before going on a roller coaster. (Sometimes what goes down does come up.)
2) Pick your nose and park it on the bedpost. (Who wants to see that later?)
3) Have Doritos before going on anything resembling a date. (Breath with a bad attitude.)
4) Drink anything anybody hands you. (Lugey alert!)
5) Wet the bed if you’re on the top bunk.
Joke #11127
Q: What’s the difference between someone putting a lugey in your milk and an oyster in a shell?
A: One makes a pearl, and the other makes you hurl.
Joke #11042
Q: What’s green, slimy, and comes out of your nose?
A: Milk that went down the wrong way during lunch.
Joke #10817
Q: How did the kid get the fly out of his milk?
A: He just skimmed the top.
Fruity Fling
Fruity Fling – n. a prehistoric “scrambled eggs” kind of ride in which you sit in a bowl of Fruity Pebbles filled with milk
tiendesit
tiendesit – v. to throw a half pint of milk at someone