Deck the halls with gasoline
Fa la la la la la la la la
Light a match and watch it clean
Fa la la la la la la la la
Watch your school burn down to ashes
Fa la la la la la la la la
Deck the halls with gasoline
Fa la la la la la la la la
Light a match and watch it clean
Fa la la la la la la la la
Watch your school burn down to ashes
Fa la la la la la la la la
I hate you
You hate me
Let’s hang Barney from a tree
I’ll get the matches
You get the gas
Let’s go blow up Barney’s ass!
Developer/Publisher: Cervo Media GmbH || Overall: 8.0/10
Hardware Used: iPhone 5 with iOS 6
Want to go on a Match-Three Safari full of deformed animals that are caged in some weird contraption called a “crazy ring?” Well, if that specific craving has arisen, Crazy Rings is for you. 101 stages full of fun and oddly not-very-funny humor. For some reason the game is listed in the store as “the funniest game ever” or something, but I have yet to even see a real joke or something funny. Maybe that’s the joke.
I guess it doesn’t matter. What there IS to like is probably what should be paid attention to, anyway. Through the “Campaign” mode, in which you presumably play through all 101 of the stages, you are trying to get as many points as possible and clear the Crazy Rings with as much efficiency and/or combo-making as possible. Once you complete a level, you gain up to three stars (you can earn zero, too) depending on how well you do in the level and progress to the next one.
The concept is not hard to grasp, nor is it really that difficult, at least until the point I’m at, which is Stage 25. The game can get a bit hectic, depending on the little things they throw in to make it harder/easier to play. There isn’t a whole lot of variety up until this point, but I’m not complaining since the art is nice to look at, and the game isn’t really that frustrating to play – it is also a stable application that doesn’t crash or have frequent bugs that I have encountered.
The essential control mechanic is to tap where you want to send one of your spherical animals, and in doing so, try to match them up with the others and try to make combos, like many other Match-Three games. What makes this game a little bit unique is that the crazy rings will rotate, expand, or travel around in a circle, so you will have to pay attention to those elements in order to not misplace any of your spherical lions, frogs, snakes, pigs, or other animals. You can also have multiple crazy rings which will also rely on the speed of each ring’s rotation if you want to match any animals with the outer rings, as they can all be rotating and expanding at the same time.
At a certain point, the game will begin to give you helpful one-time-use power-ups. One of them is a pork-chop-shaped meat thing that you can launch at the ring of animals, and they will all go chasing after it off-screen. This can be useful if you have two rings at the same time or if you just have a lot of random animals. Another power-up is a tranquilizer needle, which can slow down the ring that you shoot at, limiting its rotational speed or elastic rate. Later on, there is a Rhino that you can use to break through any obstacles, including rocks. I’m sure that they throw in different power-ups and obstacles every now-and-then to break up the monotony. Obstacles, like the rocks, which act as a wall within a crazy ring can change your strategy in completing a level.
You aren’t able to save these particular power-ups, and you have to use them within about 10 seconds of their appearance, or lose the opportunity to use them. The only power-ups that you actually keep are Rocket Rings. Rocket Rings are basically things you can use to “cheat” and clear a level if you somehow get frustrated enough to use it. I am not entirely sure if Rocket Rings are acquirable in-game, but you are able to buy them. Doing so will also unlock all of the levels in the game without having to progress one-by-one — it is a package deal and I’m not sure if you are able to just keep buying Rocket Rings after your first purchase.
Considering the Rocket Rings aren’t very enticing to use, and you can unlock all of the levels by yourself anyway, I don’t know why you would WANT to buy this “package,” even if it is a very low price to do so (at the moment, $0.99). The game isn’t particularly annoying in trying to get you to buy anything or share anything with your friends, so that is a welcomed aspect. There are also no naggy notifications or stupid social/faux-multiplayer bloat features. What I enjoy about the game is that you are actually playing a game and not trying to show your friends how cool it is to not play a game.
The game itself is quite meaty, considering there are 101 levels, and once you get through all of those, you can re-play them and try to get three-stars or play what seems like an endless-play mode called “Zen Mode.” The rings probably get crazier and crazier (and difficult) as it goes along. The sound effects/ambient noises aren’t annoying, so they’re nice to play with if you require something to listen to, but you’re not missing much if your phone is on silent.
The game is not a bad bargain for “free.” If you like puzzle games, you will enjoy Crazy Rings, and while it may not be the most unique concept you’ve ever seen, it is still worth playing. It can get pretty hectic at times, but I have yet to encounter a level that I couldn’t pass on the first go. I’m sure that in the later levels it may become difficult enough where it may require a couple of tries, but in general, there isn’t much retrying.
I hate you,
You hate me
Let’s tie barney to a tree
You get the matches,
I’ll get the gas
We’ll barney into ash.
Q: What would you get if you crossed running shoes with matches?
A: Reeboks that burn up the road.
optimist – n. a person who buys a car and hopes he’ll find a parking space before the car is paid for
;} a person who lights a match before asking to borrow a cigarette
;} a person who starts a diet on Thanksgiving
;} a person who swears off liquor on New Year’s Eve
Talk about cheap restaurants! I ordered hot chocolate and the waiter brought me an empty cup, a match, and a chocolate bar!
Two Martians, new to the ways of Earth, were trying to start a campfire.
First Martian: “This match won’t light.”
Second Martian: “What’s the matter with it?”
First Martian: “I don’t know. It worked just a minute ago.”
Q: Why did the wrestlers have to wrestle in the dark?
A: Their match wouldn’t light.
namgalsipsclar – v. to throw a lit match into a mailbox