Tag Archives: MadManWithAnAxe

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#8580: Rainy -> MadManWithAnAxe

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okay, a friend of a friend of mine was having trouble getting rid of a leech-like ex, so she sought to me for advice…unfortunatly, although i may be insightful, i’m not really the helpful “type”.

(i’ve edited down all the boring stuff and just posted the good stuff….i guess……

—————————–

Rainy: i want to shoot my xboyfriend

MadManWithAnAxe: go for it

Rainy: will you do it

Rainy: and never tell a soul

MadManWithAnAxe: heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllll no

Rainy: well i cant have my prints on the gun

MadManWithAnAxe: hmmm….. cut off your hands

Rainy: then how can i shoot?

MadManWithAnAxe: pssh, fuck….it’s all about the details for you

Rainy: yes, i think i could actually do it if i tried

MadManWithAnAxe: yeah, you’ll figure something out

Rainy: im thinking im gonna date him again and torture him

Rainy: but then ill have to put up with all his whiney bitch hit

Rainy: what should i do bradith, what shall i do?

MadManWithAnAxe: hmm……okay, i got it……… from now on…be wearing a ten gallon hat AT ALL TIMES….he’ll eventually be too ebarassed to be seen with you

Rainy: ive actually tried wearing embarassing hats, he diddnt care

Rainy: he thought it was cool

MadManWithAnAxe: hmmm……..okay, then what you need to do is cut off his penis with an x-acto knife and then tatoo a huge smiley face on his chest with text that says “this boy ain’t got no weenie”

Rainy: if i could i would but i dont have the means

MadManWithAnAxe: aw, snap

Rainy: got a more practical idea?

MadManWithAnAxe: you mean one that you could actually do?

Rainy: yeeeas

MadManWithAnAxe: nope

Rainy: what else ya got?

MadManWithAnAxe: this is going to take a while to type, be patient

Rainy: ok

Rainy: im sharpening my claws while i wait

Rainy: done yet?

MadManWithAnAxe: Okay, take him out on a date, to like, wal-mart or something, i don’t know…i’m not very good at dates…….anyways slip some roofies into his icee…. when he passes out, drag him back to your place and douse his face with ether so he stays passed out….. get some meat hooks and put
two through his hands, one through the back of his head, and one in his lower back. put ropes through the hooks and tie them to two 2×4’s in a criss-cross pattern like this +… when he comes to, you will have turned him into a human marionette, and he will be naked in the street dancing(not of his own
will of course)…..now, have a tape player and get yourself the soundtrack to CATS, when that’s playing, use a stick to make him mouth the words…if that doesn’t make him hate you…..nothing will….

Rainy: yeah, still a little impracticle

MadManWithAnAxe: :-\really? i’ve done it….several times, actually

Rainy: oh, come on, seriously, i need to get rid of him

(at this point, i had to go)

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs, Prank IMs

#8576: MadManWithAnAxe -> punk rocker 4 life

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MadManWithAnAxe: Shut the fuck up! i need total concentration….

punk rocker 4 life: WHAT THE HELL?!

MadManWithAnAxe: Didn’t you hear me? SHUT UP!

punk rocker 4 life: NO I DONT GOTS TA!!

punk rocker 4 life: SO GO FUCK OFF

MadManWithAnAxe: I KNOW ALL 11 OF THE COLONELS HERBS AND SPICES, BEEOTCH

punk rocker 4 life: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING DUMBASS!!!

MadManWithAnAxe: you heard me

punk rocker 4 life: fuck off!

MadManWithAnAxe: fuck off is ffo kcef backwards!

MadManWithAnAxe: isn’t that weird?

punk rocker 4 life: i guess soo

MadManWithAnAxe: maybe you should shut the fuck up and mind your own damn business, jesus tapdancing christ

punk rocker 4 life: mabe u shouldntt im me and i wouldnt be botherin u now would i ???!stupid!

MadManWithAnAxe: Maybe you should dance with me

MadManWithAnAxe: remember pop rocks?

MadManWithAnAxe: those little candy that fizzled in your mouth?

punk rocker 4 life: ya those are cool

MadManWithAnAxe: DUDE, SHUT THE HELL UP!

punk rocker 4 life: sTOP IMing ME AND I WILL

MadManWithAnAxe: but, anyways…you know that Mikey kid from those LIFE cereal commercials?

MadManWithAnAxe: he put pop rocks in 7up and his head exploded

MadManWithAnAxe: true story

punk rocker 4 life: good bye now

MadManWithAnAxe: I WASN’T TALKING TO YOU, BITCH!

punk rocker 4 life: I DONT GIVE A SHIT WHO U WERE TALKIN TO U DICK SUCKIN HORE!!!

MadManWithAnAxe: hey, have you ever played Pink Floyds dark side of the moon while watching The Wizard Of Oz

MadManWithAnAxe: They TOTALLY sync up!

MadManWithAnAxe: Have you ever played GTA: vice city?

MadManWithAnAxe: Dude, i just want to get to know you

punk rocker 4 life: WHAT THE FUCK EVER

MadManWithAnAxe: SHUT THE HELL UP, FUDGEPACKER

MadManWithAnAxe: well anyways, i was playing gta right, and i stole this dudes car

MadManWithAnAxe: then i drove to the next island

MadManWithAnAxe: and i got me a motorcycle

MadManWithAnAxe: and i shot a guy.

MadManWithAnAxe: no kidding

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#8569: Dftn Pny -> MadManWithAnAxe

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This entry is part 2 of 2 in the series A Hard Time With Onesicjuggernaut

Dftn Pny: a friend of mine is bragging to me about giving you a hard time…onesicjuggernaut

MadManWithAnAxe: heh

MadManWithAnAxe: He has a friend?

Dftn Pny: I think he is partially drunk.

MadManWithAnAxe: Most likely

MadManWithAnAxe: Does he always bring up penises?

Dftn Pny: Oh yes, he has a fixation.

MadManWithAnAxe: Ehehe, that’s exactly what i told him.

MadManWithAnAxe: Actually, i found the whole conversation so interesting, i saved it.

MadManWithAnAxe: And posted it on the internet

Dftn Pny: where?

MadManWithAnAxe: Do you want a link?

Dftn Pny: please.

MadManWithAnAxe: You sound respectably intelligent.

MadManWithAnAxe: Or maybe it’s just after talking to him so long…..

MadManWithAnAxe: https://www.squackle.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=submit;action=displa
y;num=1053933822;start=0#0

Dftn Pny: well, I think I suppose in relation to him, anyone would seem respectably intelligent

Dftn Pny: ugh

Dftn Pny: see, I just made a type

Dftn Pny: *typo

MadManWithAnAxe: heh

Dftn Pny: ARGH

MadManWithAnAxe: That’s okay.

MadManWithAnAxe: Although it does get pretty annoying when, such as in the case of the juggernaut guy, every sentence contains at least one grammatical error.

Dftn Pny: oh…he is so witty.

MadManWithAnAxe: Very much so.

MadManWithAnAxe: I find his wit to be ever-so-classy.

Dftn Pny: rapier-like wit…

Dftn Pny: so cutting

MadManWithAnAxe: I sometimes find myself dazzled, bewildered even at his complex sentence structure, rich vocabulary, and dry humor.

Dftn Pny: ah yes

Dftn Pny: something you can chuckle at whilst sipping on a nice merlot

MadManWithAnAxe: Ah, yes, the perfect accompionament to such intelligence such as his.

Dftn Pny: MadManWithAnAxe: Did your Daddy fondle you?

Dftn Pny: best.comment.ever.

Dftn Pny: ha…

MadManWithAnAxe: heh

MadManWithAnAxe: No applause neccessary, please.

Dftn Pny: I laugh that the first instrument that comes to his mind is a banjo…

MadManWithAnAxe: Actually it’s in reference to an Ex of mine.

Dftn Pny: I can see him rubbing his sister’s chest while plucking the first few notes to that “Deliverance” song

MadManWithAnAxe: hehehe

MadManWithAnAxe: And getting into a Dueling of the Banjos competition at the old wheat silo.

Dftn Pny: oh lordy…

Dftn Pny: this is good stuff

MadManWithAnAxe: I have other such IM’s as this.

MadManWithAnAxe: On this site.

Dftn Pny: that convo made me giggle

MadManWithAnAxe: Did you finish it?

Dftn Pny: yes

Dftn Pny: alas, I must go. I’m adding you to my buddy list…it’s nice to talk to intelligent humans.

MadManWithAnAxe: Would you like to delve deeper into the vast array of insanity stricken IM’s that have found sanctity in this domain?

MadManWithAnAxe: Eh, okay, i’ll show you them later then.

Dftn Pny: wonderful

Dftn Pny: I shall talk to you later then.

MadManWithAnAxe: Whoa, white pony

MadManWithAnAxe: deftones

MadManWithAnAxe: on your buddy…. icon…thing

Dftn Pny: yes.

MadManWithAnAxe: I was listening to that earlier today.

Dftn Pny: are you not a deftones fan?

Dftn Pny: ah

Dftn Pny: good choice

MadManWithAnAxe: Very much so, i think.

Dftn Pny: you should pick up their new album

MadManWithAnAxe: HA, now i make sense of your screen name.

Dftn Pny: yes…:-)

Dftn Pny: well, I should depart

MadManWithAnAxe: Ta-ta

Dftn Pny: good night.

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#8568: Onesicjuggernaut -> MadManWithAnAxe

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This entry is part 1 of 2 in the series A Hard Time With Onesicjuggernaut

Onesicjuggernaut: you pussy

MadManWithAnAxe: ummm…..

MadManWithAnAxe: you…uhhh..take that back

Onesicjuggernaut: shut the fuck upo

MadManWithAnAxe: or something

Onesicjuggernaut: was i takling to you

MadManWithAnAxe: you weren’t TAKLING anything…

MadManWithAnAxe: i don’t think takling is even actually a word.

Onesicjuggernaut: shut the fuck up

Onesicjuggernaut: wnna be juggalo

Onesicjuggernaut: wanna*

MadManWithAnAxe: umm….no

Onesicjuggernaut: stupid fuck

Onesicjuggernaut: shut up

MadManWithAnAxe: that’s okay

Onesicjuggernaut: was i talking to you

Onesicjuggernaut: ?

MadManWithAnAxe: i don’t like to be catagarized with a bunch of dumb shits such as yourself.

Onesicjuggernaut: ok

Onesicjuggernaut: did i ask you to talk

Onesicjuggernaut: shut the fuck up

MadManWithAnAxe: i’m glad you understand

Onesicjuggernaut: when i want your opinion

Onesicjuggernaut: ill talk my dick out of your moms mouth

MadManWithAnAxe: it’s really too bad you can’t be original

MadManWithAnAxe: or creative

MadManWithAnAxe: oooooh he stopped typing i win

MadManWithAnAxe: (that was sarcasm)

MadManWithAnAxe: (mocking you)

MadManWithAnAxe: (you dumb fuck)

Onesicjuggernaut: whats with (these)

MadManWithAnAxe: they’re called parenthases

Onesicjuggernaut: / /( . ) ( . )\ \

Onesicjuggernaut: youll never see those

MadManWithAnAxe: oooooooooooooh

MadManWithAnAxe: Wow…

MadManWithAnAxe: just….wow

MadManWithAnAxe: that was incredibly stupid

MadManWithAnAxe: for you, even

MadManWithAnAxe: i’m shocked

MadManWithAnAxe: i thought you at least had a small intelect

Onesicjuggernaut: heh

Onesicjuggernaut: shut the fuck up

Onesicjuggernaut: lol

MadManWithAnAxe: you have proven me wrong once again

MadManWithAnAxe: aye, me

MadManWithAnAxe: can’t i be right JUST ONCE?!?

MadManWithAnAxe: but no, i have to give you more credit then you’re worth

MadManWithAnAxe: sad times are these

Onesicjuggernaut: MadManWithAnAxe:-D— – — — –

MadManWithAnAxe: umm……

Onesicjuggernaut: then kill yourself

Onesicjuggernaut: duhh

MadManWithAnAxe: that’s a great idea

Onesicjuggernaut: INDEAD

MadManWithAnAxe: but then how will i humor myself with as stupid shits as yourself?

Onesicjuggernaut: look at your penis

MadManWithAnAxe: But to die, and leave people like you alive? That would be a sin in itself.

Onesicjuggernaut: it would humor anyone

MadManWithAnAxe: What is your constant fascination with my penis?

MadManWithAnAxe: Please, explain.

MadManWithAnAxe: Can you lay off the penis talk for one conversation?

MadManWithAnAxe: Just once.

Onesicjuggernaut: its so oooooooo small

Onesicjuggernaut: heh

Onesicjuggernaut: it inverts from a vagina when you snezze

MadManWithAnAxe: Maybe that insult would be effective against another backhills redneck such as yourself

MadManWithAnAxe: but i have much higeher standards

Onesicjuggernaut: at least im not a n*gger

MadManWithAnAxe: ummm…..yeah

Onesicjuggernaut: fubo = Farmest Used to Beast Us

Onesicjuggernaut: Beat*

Onesicjuggernaut: now shut the fuck up

MadManWithAnAxe: oh god, that would be so funny if you made that up

Onesicjuggernaut: your fucking funny

Onesicjuggernaut: i mean oh shit

MadManWithAnAxe: you mean you’re

Onesicjuggernaut: wharts a 15 year old gonna do

MadManWithAnAxe: your is possesive

MadManWithAnAxe: you’re is the contraction for you are

Onesicjuggernaut: fucking shoot me with his water gun

MadManWithAnAxe: i think that’s what you were going for

MadManWithAnAxe: back there

Onesicjuggernaut: ok who the fuck cares

Onesicjuggernaut: your such a perfectionest

Onesicjuggernaut: kill yuorself

Onesicjuggernaut: you fucking mornman

MadManWithAnAxe: perfectionIst

Onesicjuggernaut: ayye jesus was a cunt

MadManWithAnAxe: that he was, but you’re getting off topic

Onesicjuggernaut: what topic

Onesicjuggernaut: your gay

Onesicjuggernaut: thts the topic

Onesicjuggernaut: now shut the fuck up

MadManWithAnAxe: that really hurts

MadManWithAnAxe: seriously

MadManWithAnAxe: being called gay…from YOU

MadManWithAnAxe: ouch

Onesicjuggernaut: oh fucking christ aye y dont you take that to 3rd grade

Onesicjuggernaut: where youi left your penis size

MadManWithAnAxe: Nah, I figured i’d tone it down so your uneducated mind
would be able to comprehend.

MadManWithAnAxe: I bet you’re a real prize with the ladies, huh?

Onesicjuggernaut: ok your done

Onesicjuggernaut: shut the fuck up

Onesicjuggernaut: and stop talking to lacy

MadManWithAnAxe: You’ve got …..

Onesicjuggernaut: you cock slobber

MadManWithAnAxe: what the fuck is a ”lacy”

Onesicjuggernaut: your bras

Onesicjuggernaut: niger

Onesicjuggernaut: lol

Onesicjuggernaut: shut the fuck up

MadManWithAnAxe: LOL!!!!

MadManWithAnAxe: OMG!!!

MadManWithAnAxe: ROFLMAO!!!

MadManWithAnAxe: wait….that was just gay

MadManWithAnAxe: Please refrain from the penis and homosexually perverted comments from this point forward.

Onesicjuggernaut: y

MadManWithAnAxe: I’ll bet you can’t go three sentences without mentioning a penis somewhere.

Onesicjuggernaut: you worried other people with find out

Onesicjuggernaut: about your “tiny tim”

MadManWithAnAxe: Is it some childhood affixiation with penises?

MadManWithAnAxe: Did your Daddy fondle you?

MadManWithAnAxe: Come on, there has to be some reason you must keep bringing penises into the conversation.

Onesicjuggernaut: yes there is

Onesicjuggernaut: you dont have one

Onesicjuggernaut: and i do

Onesicjuggernaut: so im better

Onesicjuggernaut: oh yeah

Onesicjuggernaut: and becase

Onesicjuggernaut: im white

Onesicjuggernaut: and your notr

Onesicjuggernaut: not*

Onesicjuggernaut: now shut the fuck up

MadManWithAnAxe: What makes you think i’m not white?

Onesicjuggernaut: your a n*gger

MadManWithAnAxe: Am I, now?

MadManWithAnAxe: How so?

MadManWithAnAxe: Explain your reasoning.

MadManWithAnAxe: Please.

Onesicjuggernaut: your a n*gger

Onesicjuggernaut: duh

Onesicjuggernaut: thats all i have to know

Onesicjuggernaut: well

Onesicjuggernaut: yes you have no penis

Onesicjuggernaut: therefor you are a goat

MadManWithAnAxe: You do realise i’m going to post this conversation on the internet so the whole world can be bewildered by your ignorance, and inixplicable stupidity.

MadManWithAnAxe: And your mindset that leads you to mention penises in every other thought.

Onesicjuggernaut: well

Onesicjuggernaut: eat some fried chicken

MadManWithAnAxe: Annnnnd, just how were you expecting that to be insulting?

Onesicjuggernaut: your black

Onesicjuggernaut: you post it yet

Onesicjuggernaut: fuck

MadManWithAnAxe: Okay, how is calling me black going to make me feel bad?

Onesicjuggernaut: i dont know

Onesicjuggernaut: n*gger

MadManWithAnAxe: Look at it this way, do you get offended if i call you chinese?

Onesicjuggernaut: therre you feal anything?

Onesicjuggernaut: yes

Onesicjuggernaut: lol

MadManWithAnAxe: LOL!!!!!!!

Onesicjuggernaut: they eat rice

MadManWithAnAxe: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Onesicjuggernaut: make shitty cars

Onesicjuggernaut: and to blind fold them you have to use floss

MadManWithAnAxe: Okay, what if i was to refer to you as a native of nstanbul(formely Constantinople) would you be offended?

Onesicjuggernaut: ok stop this shity

Onesicjuggernaut: our trying to make yourself look smart

Onesicjuggernaut: compensating for something are we????

MadManWithAnAxe: I’m TRYING to figure out how you got to be so idiotic.

Onesicjuggernaut: your rubbing off on me

Onesicjuggernaut: now

Onesicjuggernaut: shut the fuxck up

MadManWithAnAxe: See, you went back to the penis thing, AGAIN.

Onesicjuggernaut: nope

Onesicjuggernaut: i didnt

Onesicjuggernaut: i was talking how banjo even turned you down

Onesicjuggernaut: heh

Onesicjuggernaut: you pussy

MadManWithAnAxe: banjo?

Onesicjuggernaut: banjo impailment

Onesicjuggernaut: lol

Onesicjuggernaut: pussy

MadManWithAnAxe: How did she turn me down?

Onesicjuggernaut: she wouldnt kis you when you werre in the lonney bin

Onesicjuggernaut: now shut the fuck up

MadManWithAnAxe: umm..i think she did

MadManWithAnAxe: But, please, you obviously know more about this than I do.

Onesicjuggernaut: yeah` its those poenis drugs they give you

Onesicjuggernaut: lol

MadManWithAnAxe: that sure was clever

MadManWithAnAxe: you should write that one down

Onesicjuggernaut: no

MadManWithAnAxe: keep it in a little notebook

Onesicjuggernaut: its not that good

Onesicjuggernaut: in fact it sucked

MadManWithAnAxe: no shit

Onesicjuggernaut: like your mom

Onesicjuggernaut: oww

MadManWithAnAxe: NOW THAT WAS GOOD!

MadManWithAnAxe: okay, okay, write them BOTH down

MadManWithAnAxe: okay, and e-mail them, spread the word of your great humor

MadManWithAnAxe: oh the masses will be delighted when they hear your witty insights on life

Onesicjuggernaut: yes

Onesicjuggernaut: like this #

Onesicjuggernaut: jesus was a cunt

Onesicjuggernaut: la-la-la-la-la

Onesicjuggernaut: i raped her in the name of jesus

MadManWithAnAxe: see, see

Onesicjuggernaut: bow chicka bow now

MadManWithAnAxe: people will love this

Onesicjuggernaut: now shut the fuck up

MadManWithAnAxe: it’ll make them feel smart

MadManWithAnAxe: You should have your own sitcom

Onesicjuggernaut: you mkae them feel atractive

Onesicjuggernaut: now SHUT THE FUCK UP

MadManWithAnAxe: just so you can say ”now shut the fuck up” every week

Onesicjuggernaut: fucker

Onesicjuggernaut: i say it everyday

Onesicjuggernaut: now shut the fuck up

Onesicjuggernaut: now shut the fuck up

MadManWithAnAxe: *canned laughter*

MadManWithAnAxe: It’ll be great!

Onesicjuggernaut: now shut the fuck up

Onesicjuggernaut: 😉

MadManWithAnAxe: We can have Deborah Harry sing the theme song.

MadManWithAnAxe: Ooooh, i’m sure america will just love it.

MadManWithAnAxe: Their favorite retard, saying ”now shut the fuck up” EVERY WEEK!

Onesicjuggernaut: who the FUCK is that

Onesicjuggernaut: now shut the fuck up

MadManWithAnAxe: ooooh, i got an idea

MadManWithAnAxe: say ”now shut the fuck up” in ALL CAPS

MadManWithAnAxe: it’ll be more affective

MadManWithAnAxe: better yet, put exclamation points after it

MadManWithAnAxe: That’ll make it penetrate deeper.

MadManWithAnAxe: Give their senses a good shaking

Onesicjuggernaut: NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!

Onesicjuggernaut: NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!

Onesicjuggernaut: LIKE THAT

MadManWithAnAxe: YEAH!

Onesicjuggernaut: YOU PANSY

MadManWithAnAxe: EXCATLY

Onesicjuggernaut: NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!

MadManWithAnAxe: oooooh, I gotta love the all caps

Onesicjuggernaut: you liek it

MadManWithAnAxe: Does it make you feel like a real man?

Onesicjuggernaut: ‘becuase there big

Onesicjuggernaut: and your not

Onesicjuggernaut: fucking my gfs make me feal like a man

Onesicjuggernaut: heh

Onesicjuggernaut: you wouldnt know

MadManWithAnAxe: ummm……

MadManWithAnAxe: yeah

MadManWithAnAxe: you got me there

MadManWithAnAxe: although you’re off

MadManWithAnAxe: just a tad bit

MadManWithAnAxe: taking into account all my girlfriends

MadManWithAnAxe: and all the sex

Onesicjuggernaut: although you’re off fucking your mom

Onesicjuggernaut: muhahahahaahhaha

Onesicjuggernaut: dude

Onesicjuggernaut: if they blow up

MadManWithAnAxe: HOLY CRAP! you used YOU’RE!

Onesicjuggernaut: or are made of latex

MadManWithAnAxe: GOOD JOB, BUDDY!

Onesicjuggernaut: or if they scream no no no im a quadraplegic

Onesicjuggernaut: it doesnt count

Onesicjuggernaut: cuase copy pasted

Onesicjuggernaut: numb nuts

Onesicjuggernaut: now shut the fuck up

MadManWithAnAxe: Quad-ra-pa-le-gic…..5 syllables!!!!

MadManWithAnAxe: Christ, you’re really making progress.

Onesicjuggernaut: on your mom

Onesicjuggernaut: ahahhahaha

Onesicjuggernaut: now shut the fuck up

MadManWithAnAxe: My mom?

Onesicjuggernaut: now shut the fuck up now shut the fuck up now shut the
fuck up now shut the fuck up now shut the fuck up now shut the fuck up now
shut the fuck up now shut the fuck up now shut the fuck up now shut the fuck
up now shut the fuck up now shut the fuck up now shut the fuck up now shut
the fuck up now shut the fuck up now shut the fuck up now shut the fuck up
now shut the fuck up now shut the fuck up now shut the fuck up now shut the
fuck up now shut the fuck up now shut the fuck up now shut the fuck up

MadManWithAnAxe: I’m not going to bother reading all that.

Onesicjuggernaut: good

MadManWithAnAxe: I’ll just assume that it says now shut the fuck up over and over

Onesicjuggernaut: here ill make it eassy

Onesicjuggernaut: now shut the fuck up now shut the fuck up now shut the fuck up

MadManWithAnAxe: Oh, thanks.

MadManWithAnAxe: You’ve been a real life-saver.

Onesicjuggernaut: good

Onesicjuggernaut: now shut the fuck up

MadManWithAnAxe: Without you, who knows how long i would’ve spent reading all that.

Onesicjuggernaut: are you still talking jesus ive been pasting now shut fuck up this whole time you fucking douche bag go fuck a goat or somthing you pathetic cockmaster

Onesicjuggernaut: now shut the fuck up

MadManWithAnAxe: You should really learn to use commas, and other common literary tools.

Onesicjuggernaut: now shut the fuck up

MadManWithAnAxe: Such as apostrophes.

Onesicjuggernaut: lol

Onesicjuggernaut: i dont care

MadManWithAnAxe: It’ll make you look….how you say…less retarded.

MadManWithAnAxe: Okay, well, i’m going now to…ummm…what’s something completely idiotic that you would actually say…..oh, i’m going to fuck a goat.

MadManWithAnAxe: goodbye

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs, Prank IMs

#8538: MadManWithAnAxe -> doomsday

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MadManWithAnAxe: What the hell did you just call me?

doomsday: nothin

doomsday: what r u talkinabout

MadManWithAnAxe: you heard me

doomsday: i haent even talked to u

MadManWithAnAxe: yeah you did

MadManWithAnAxe: it was a while ago

doomsday: when

doomsday: i dont remember

MadManWithAnAxe: well we were discussing midget porn

doomsday: midget porn

MadManWithAnAxe: yep

doomsday: ok well ive never talked bout midget porn before

MadManWithAnAxe: you did with me

doomsday: umm no i didnt

MadManWithAnAxe: we were contimplating how it will inevitably collapse the
structure of american economics

MadManWithAnAxe: remember now?

doomsday: no

MadManWithAnAxe: oh

MadManWithAnAxe: well….wanna talk about it now?

MadManWithAnAxe: c’mon

MadManWithAnAxe: everybody’s doing it

MadManWithAnAxe: don’t you wanna be popular?

doomsday: umm no

doomsday: i dont want to talk bout miget porn

MadManWithAnAxe: well…what do you want to talk about?

MadManWithAnAxe: Toast fucking?

MadManWithAnAxe: it’s this new thing where you fuck, or get fucked with toast

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs, Prank IMs

#8532: MadManWithAnAxe -> EmoKid

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MadManWithAnAxe: howdy, sunshine

EmoKid: WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?

MadManWithAnAxe: i’ll give you 3 guesses

EmoKid: how bout u tell me cuz im to busy to guess

MadManWithAnAxe: busy with what?!?

MadManWithAnAxe: you’re too good for me now????

MadManWithAnAxe: i thought we were ”bestest friends forever”

EmoKid: looking for a new camera

MadManWithAnAxe: we signed that treaty

EmoKid: ya well i am when i dont know who the fuck u are

MadManWithAnAxe: i have to go

MadManWithAnAxe: i’ll see you tomorrow

MadManWithAnAxe: fucker

EmoKid: NO u wont

EmoKid: cuz u dont know me FUCK FACE

EmoKid: FUCK a treaty

MadManWithAnAxe: b-b-b-b-b-b-b-but….

MadManWithAnAxe: i….love…you

EmoKid: u dont even know who i am

MadManWithAnAxe: i just could never tell you

MadManWithAnAxe: until now

EmoKid: u dont even know my name

MadManWithAnAxe: do name’s matter when it comes to true love?

MadManWithAnAxe: what’s in a name?

MadManWithAnAxe: a rose by any other blah blah blah…

EmoKid: yes it does and im not telling u my name

EmoKid: i dont even know u or where u live or who u are

MadManWithAnAxe: none of that matters anymore

MadManWithAnAxe: will……will you be my date to the prom?

MadManWithAnAxe: your silence says everything

MadManWithAnAxe: i know about……her

MadManWithAnAxe: i’ve known all along

MadManWithAnAxe: i thought you changed

MadManWithAnAxe: i thought you were different

MadManWithAnAxe: but i guess i was naive

MadManWithAnAxe: you’re all the same

EmoKid: u dont know if im a femal or male i dont know what the hell u are

MadManWithAnAxe: what difference does it make??!?!

MadManWithAnAxe: i LOVE you

EmoKid: it makes a big difference

MadManWithAnAxe: how so?

EmoKid: cuz if u dont know me than u cant love me

MadManWithAnAxe: but, i DO love you

MadManWithAnAxe: i love you with all my soul

EmoKid: u dont know me fucker

MadManWithAnAxe: i know you enough to love you

MadManWithAnAxe: i WANT you

MadManWithAnAxe: i NEED you

MadManWithAnAxe: i LOVE you

EmoKid: U DONT KNOW ME AT ALL

MadManWithAnAxe: how could you say that?!? after all we’ve been through

EmoKid: we havent been throught ne thing

MadManWithAnAxe: :-(all the good times we had

EmoKid: if u knew me u would know my name

EmoKid: if u really did feel that way u would tell me who u were

MadManWithAnAxe: if you don’t know….then i guess you don’t love me anymore

MadManWithAnAxe: oh yeah, and that kiss….IT MEANT NOTHING

EmoKid: what kiss

MadManWithAnAxe: :'(YOU DON’T REMEMBER?!?

EmoKid: i dont know who u are so no i woulndt know

MadManWithAnAxe: i hate you

MadManWithAnAxe: i HATE you

EmoKid: ok good i dont even know u

EmoKid: so i dont give a FUCK

MadManWithAnAxe: how could you say that

EmoKid: because i can

MadManWithAnAxe: and not for the better

EmoKid: like i said u dontk now if im a guy or a girl so ya

MadManWithAnAxe: bye

Prank IMs, Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#8531: MadManWithAnAxe -> EmoKid

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MadManWithAnAxe: yeah, he reminds me of tony danza in a way…

EmoKid: whos this?

MadManWithAnAxe: i go by many names…

MadManWithAnAxe: most would refer to me as Spanky McTweezleberry

MadManWithAnAxe: but YOU, my friend, will refer to me as CAPTAIN Spanky

EmoKid: actually umm no i wont

MadManWithAnAxe: aww, please?

EmoKid: how the fuck did u get my sn

MadManWithAnAxe: I call it a findy machine, but most would call it a
Shriptikolden, due to it’s akward shape

EmoKid: and how did my sn come up

MadManWithAnAxe: I put the doodad into the Kreplon and….look, do i really
have to explain how my findy machine works?

EmoKid: no u have to tell me how my sn came up on this thing

MadManWithAnAxe: It’s a pretty complicated process, it involves two cans
of campbell’s tomato soup, a backpack full of chalupas from taco bell, a
horse named fredricca, and a strange man from nantucket

EmoKid: hmmn

EmoKid: whats ur ASL

MadManWithAnAxe: guess

MadManWithAnAxe: i’ll give you a nickle

EmoKid: I rather not

EmoKid: i dont need a nickle

MadManWithAnAxe: but a nickle has limitless uses, you can never have too
many of them

EmoKid: ya u can

MadManWithAnAxe: i beg to differ

EmoKid: oh well

MadManWithAnAxe: care to dance?

EmoKid: No i dont want to Dance

MadManWithAnAxe: you’re no fun

EmoKid: and u act like i give a FUCK

MadManWithAnAxe: =-Oi am appaled at your use of language

EmoKid: so what

MadManWithAnAxe: that could’ve been hurtful if used in a more threatining
manner

EmoKid: oh WOW

MadManWithAnAxe: guess what

EmoKid: what

MadManWithAnAxe: that wasn’t much of a guess…try again

EmoKid: umm let me see ahh WHAT????

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#8530: scary fairy elf -> MadManWithAnAxe

2 Comments

scary fairy elf: hey bitchface

MadManWithAnAxe: why so cruel?

scary fairy elf: becauase men with small dicksaren’t really men as they claim to be

MadManWithAnAxe: ummm….ok

MadManWithAnAxe: was that an insult?

scary fairy elf: yes basterd

scary fairy elf: you fucked your father thTS JUST WRONG!

MadManWithAnAxe: oh…try a little harder next time and i might possibly take offense to one of your stupid ass remarks

scary fairy elf: YOU FUCK COWS THEY GO MOO, MOO THEY GO FUCK YOU DO

MadManWithAnAxe: hahahaha, that was by far the stupidest thing i’ve heard all day

MadManWithAnAxe: you should try and make a living out of being so stupid

MadManWithAnAxe: you could make a lot of money, you know

scary fairy elf: ya, whats it to you?

MadManWithAnAxe: i was just trying to help, seeing as you’ll most likely end up giving blowjobs for crack

MadManWithAnAxe: and because being a complete moron seems to come natural to you

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#8526: MadManWithAnAxe -> dnLFlipIt

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MadManWithAnAxe: What’s up bro?

dnLFlipIt: Wassup MadManWithAnAxe! I’m dnL Flipit. brought to you by Dr.
Pepper/7-Up Inc.

I can tell you about the slammin’ new soda dnL, help you win $5 mil, play
games and more. To read more about privacy, click here

To get going, type “home” now.

MadManWithAnAxe: What did you just call me?

dnLFlipIt: Since this is your first visit, it’s a good idea to start by typing
“home.” That way I can show you everything I can do for you.

MadManWithAnAxe: nah, i don’t “swing” that way, brother

dnLFlipIt: Hmm… whatever!

>> I have cool games & downloads too. Type “play it” to check them
out!

MadManWithAnAxe: Did you see that movie where the guy raped the little kids
and then he ate them?

dnLFlipIt: Who knows, know what I mean? lol!

MadManWithAnAxe: No…i’m afraid i don’t quite comprehend

dnLFlipIt: Amazing!

MadManWithAnAxe: You know what’s more amazing? when i break your fucking
foot off and shove it up up your asshole

dnLFlipIt: Uh… Whatever.

MadManWithAnAxe: ASFSAAGEAHGEAHE!

dnLFlipIt: I’m sorry?

MadManWithAnAxe: i forgive you

dnLFlipIt: I can’t believe you forgive me!

MadManWithAnAxe: Why not

dnLFlipIt: For various reasons, I suppose.

MadManWithAnAxe: suppose is a funny word

dnLFlipIt: Suppose is a funny word? I don’t know.

MadManWithAnAxe: you should

dnLFlipIt: It’s interesting that you say I should.

MadManWithAnAxe: What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

dnLFlipIt: What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

MadManWithAnAxe: Hey, i ask the questions around here, bub.

dnLFlipIt: Hey you ask the questions around here bub? Is that right?

MadManWithAnAxe: No…

dnLFlipIt: No? You sure?

MadManWithAnAxe: No

dnLFlipIt: I see.

MadManWithAnAxe: I don’t think you do

dnLFlipIt: What?

MadManWithAnAxe: you heard me

dnLFlipIt: Indeed.

MadManWithAnAxe: What are you wearing?

dnLFlipIt: Um… Regular guys’ clothes, I guess. Why do you ask?

MadManWithAnAxe: Because you make me so hot sometimes

dnLFlipIt: Oh yeah? I make you so hot sometimes?

MadManWithAnAxe: Oh yeah…i’m not gay, but, you’re different from other
guys. Rub my nipples

dnLFlipIt: Oh?

MadManWithAnAxe: YES

dnLFlipIt: OK…

MadManWithAnAxe: thanks!

dnLFlipIt: Sure!

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#8524: OrianDragon -> MadManWithAnAxe

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OrianDragon:
hjfhjdshjkfhjkfdhjkfshjkfhjkhjkfdshjkfdshjkfdshjkfdshjkfdshjkfdshjkfdshj
kfdsahjkfdsahjkfdashjkfdhjkfhjkhjkfdshjkfdhjkfdhjkfdhjkfdshjkfdshjfdhjkf
dhjkfdhjkfdshjkfdhjkfdshjkfdshjkfdhjkfdshjkfdshjkfdshjkfdshjkfdshjkfdshj
kfdshjkfdhjkfdhjkfdshjkfdsghjkfdsjfdshjkhjkfdhjkfdhjka

MadManWithAnAxe: you take that back!

OrianDragon: no make me

MadManWithAnAxe: *makes you*

OrianDragon: no

MadManWithAnAxe: *uses the all powerful MIND BEAM!!!*

OrianDragon: (dodge)

MadManWithAnAxe: damnit!! the targets at the shooting range didn’t move…

OrianDragon: to fast you

MadManWithAnAxe: *mesmorizes you with hypnotic belly dancing*

OrianDragon: well counter attack you with my ferret of doom

MadManWithAnAxe: how did you know my undescribable intense paranoia of ferrets?!?

OrianDragon: haha you don’t know what scares me

MadManWithAnAxe: *pulls out a full size cardboard cutout of Judy Dench wearing nothing but duct tape*

OrianDragon: nnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

MadManWithAnAxe: YES *jiggles it around to make it look like it’s dancing*

OrianDragon: no stop it but lawngnomes scare me to

MadManWithAnAxe: ah, yes *pulls out a sharpie and draws a lawn gnome’s head in place of judy dench’s*

OrianDragon: oh my god please put it away

MadManWithAnAxe: *throws it aside*

OrianDragon: thank you”pulls out the band Hanson” dance my slave dance

MadManWithAnAxe: =-O

MadManWithAnAxe: *pantomimes a dog putting an etch-a-sketch in the microwave* Mmmmbop THAT!

OrianDragon: no

MadManWithAnAxe: Well, okay

OrianDragon: you will destroy us all

MadManWithAnAxe: *reenacts the entire civil war in 5 minutes*

OrianDragon: “shoots general Lee”

OrianDragon: cival war that

MadManWithAnAxe: *reseructs lee’s soul into an 80 foot grizzly bear with mutant powers*

OrianDragon: “shoots grizzly but doesn’t hurt it so run and summons Godzilla

MadManWithAnAxe: *Lee’s grizzly body springs forth adamantium claws*

OrianDragon: “Godzilla sommuns Mothra then those two small Japanese chicks come and say Mothra comeback Mothra”

MadManWithAnAxe: *grizzly laughs an evil laugh and entombs mothra in carbonite*

OrianDragon: “then tose two small chicks start biting the grizzlys toes”

MadManWithAnAxe: *the grizzly dies, ironically not from the toe-biting, but from a broken heart…awww*

OrianDragon: isn’t cute

MadManWithAnAxe: so sad…

OrianDragon: “oh no a giant metorite come and kills Godzilla”

MadManWithAnAxe: *it starts to rain and thousands upon thousands of lawn gnomes sprout from the cracks in the sidewalks*

OrianDragon: oh no I’m scared hold me

MadManWithAnAxe: *music begins playing with no apparent source while strobe lights turn the earth into a giant party sphere*

OrianDragon: “then every body starts to disco dancing”

MadManWithAnAxe: *but oddly enough, they’re disco dancing to hardcore rap done by a midget with down syndrome*

OrianDragon: “oh god we have to kill him says an one armed’ one eyed,onlegged man”

MadManWithAnAxe: for fuck’s sake, i thought he swore he would leave the poor pringles guy alone

OrianDragon: no make me

MadManWithAnAxe: *hums the opening guitars riffs from Kashmir*

OrianDragon: oh no its Bill Cosbey is behind you and he wants to sell you jello

MadManWithAnAxe: *backhands bill cosby*

OrianDragon: “still comes after you but this time asks what your favorite thing is”

MadManWithAnAxe: *smacks bill cosby then screams ”HEY HEY MAMA SAID THE WAY YOU MOVE GONNA MAKE YOU SWEAT GONNA MAKE YOU GROOVE” *plays air guitar*

OrianDragon: “then he brakes your air guitar then the starts stabing you with a butterknife”

MadManWithAnAxe: *cries uncrontrollaby*

OrianDragon: “then smacks you and says stop crying you little baby and stars to smack you uncontrollably ands starts to say who’s you daddy”

MadManWithAnAxe: *turns into a werewolf and screams ”give me waffles or give me death!!” then turns back into a person and looks around confused*

OrianDragon: “screams into your ear and says that you’re his son”

MadManWithAnAxe: *whistles the opening theme from 2001: a space oddysey while methodically biting toenails*

Media, Pictures

blowthetoad

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Your search for extreme gayness has finally ended. His obsession with Squackle has left many Squackle members being very careful when they bend over and waking up in the middle of the night screaming.

Age: 12 or something, who cares

Thought to have been real pictures of blowthetoad, but is actually his “ex-girlfriend’s brother.” But we’re still gonna leave it up, just because they’re funny.  Sorry to this guy who’s real name is supposedly Devin, if he ever sees these.  I’d take a bet that this is actually blowthetoad’s gay lover in his dreams (or even in real life???):

Stupid IMs, Prank IMs, Chat Logs

#5965: Tortuga -> MadManWithAnAxe

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Tortuga: you are crazy

Tortuga: you need to work on your profile

Tortuga: you sound like a weirdo

MadManWithAnAxe: you sound like marlon brando

Tortuga: thanks

Tortuga: crazy

MadManWithAnAxe: c-c-crazy?

Tortuga: i gotta go cause you are odd

MadManWithAnAxe: i think YOU’RE the crazy one, teacozy man

Tortuga: what

MadManWithAnAxe: you heard me

Tortuga: no i am trying not to

MadManWithAnAxe: then don’t

Tortuga: im not i told you i was leaving so stop talking to me

Tortuga: and you need some help

MadManWithAnAxe: stop responding

MadManWithAnAxe: no wait come back, i need you!

MadManWithAnAxe: Did you just call me a toaster oven?  What the hell is your problem?

Tortuga: you are crazy shut up

MadManWithAnAxe: let’s dance