My wife and I received a lovely trophy as a wedding gift from a friend. But upon closer inspection, we noticed that the plaque seemed to reveal some dark, previously hidden secret.
There were only two lines on the engraving, and no punctuation. Read together, it said, “May the Lord Bless You and Keep You From Mary Blevin.”
Q: How do you wrap a gift for a weatherman?
A: With a rain-bow.
“…and she would like to give a gift to the dinner auction…”
– from somewhere around davepoobond’s high school
“I love MyBeautyCenter. I have ordered several times and keep coming back. I get great deals on stuff for myself and fabulous gift items, too.”
– from the Internet
Gift him two presents, now he wants two more!
Q: What’s the best thing to give your parents for the holidays?
A: A list of everything you want!
Q: What do you get when you cross a mummy with a gift?
A: A very tightly wrapped present.
Q: Why do mummies like the holidays?
A: Because of all the wrapping.
Q: What’s the best holiday gift to get for someone who has everything?
Q: What do you get a monster for the holidays?
A: A really big present.
“its my little gift to everyones one and all”
– Miss Canoffat
Q: Why was the boy covered in gift wrap?
A: His mom told him to “live in the present.”
There’s something new on the medical market. It’s called the Hypochondriac’s Almanac. It’s the perfect gift for people who swear they have everything.
MRS. O’DAY: “Your husband seems to be a man of rare gifts.”
MRS. O’HAY: “That he is. He hasn’t given me one since we were married five years ago.”