LITTLE TEDDY: “What is your father doing?”
LITTLE EDDY: “According to my mother, as little as possible.”
Tag Archives: father
Joke #13151
A son asked her father, Hey, Pop, can I have 10 bucks to buy a skateboard?”
The father replied, “No! Look, Johnny, you should try to use your brains to raise the 10 dollars yourself.”
About five minutes later the lad returned and said, “Well, I raised the 10 dollars.”
The father asked, “How?”
The youngster smiled and said, “I asked Mom for it.”
Joke #13141
The father told his son, “I won’t waste money on pet food. If you want a pet, get one that will eat table scraps.”
The next day the son brought home a termite farm.
Joke #12986
DOCTOR FRANKENSTEIN: “Tell me, Igor, where is the monster?”
IGOR: “He went to town to mail off 20 Father’s Day cards.”
Joke #12644
SON: “When you were in school, Dad, did you participate in any sports?”
FATHER: “Track was my best sport. I’ll never forget the day I ran the hundred-yard dash in only seven seconds. And if I ever catch the guy who put those bees in my shorts, I’ll kill him!”
Joke #12491
A young man wanted to marry a comedian’s daughter. “Sir,” said the young man, “may I have your daughter for my wife?”
The comic, a widower for many years, replied, “If your wife can cook and clean house, it’s a deal.”
Joke #12396
A father knows his kids are growing up when his daughter starts applying lipstick and his son starts wiping it off.
Joke #12383
LITTLE JIMMY: “My father can beat your father.”
LITTLE TIMMY: “Big deal. Even my mother can beat my father.”
Joke #12381
A boy once asked his mother, “Mommy, what happens to all those old cars?”
His mother replied, “Someone sells them to your father!”
Joke #12376
DAUGHTER: “How old are you, Dad?”
DAD: “I’m pushing 30.”
DAUGHTER: “From which direction?”
Joke #12368
BACHELOR: “Mr. Smith, I want permission to marry your daughter.”
FATHER: “Before I give you my answer, I have to know one thing. Do you drink?”
BACHELOR: “Thanks, but business before pleasure.”
Joke #12049
FATHER: “Is it true the navy has a submarine that can stay underwater for months?”
SAILOR SON: “Yes, we have one that now only comes up so the men can vote in a presidential election.”
Joke #12045
A father was reading the newspaper one night and he commented, “It says here an old woman died and police found 50,000 dollars hidden in her bustle.”
His teenage son replied, “Wow! That’s a lot of money to leave behind.”
Joke #12040
When the man of the house returned from work, his son said, “Dad there was a man here to see you this morning.”
The father asked, “Did the man have a bill?”
The kid answered, “No, he had a nose like yours.”
Joke #12038
SON: “Hey, Dad! This newspaper says the moon is going broke.”
DAD: “Why is it going broke?”
SON: “The paper says it’s going into its last quarter.”