fartality – n. death by fart
Tag Archives: fart
libebcnofne
libebcnofne – n. a fart that sounds like a machine
kanuj
kanuj – v. to make a fart noise by blowing into your hands
Joke #8995
Q: Why do men fart more than women?
A: Because women can’t shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
petny
petny – n. a fart noise made with your hands
syntep
syntep – v. to make a fart noise with your hands
Polar Bears farts smell like…
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Fart
My Favorite Books
The Rabbit Who Pooped On Everyone
This is kinda weird. We got 2 different versions of this same story from 2 different people. We don’t know who the first person was.
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1st version:
One Day A Rabbit named FLUFFY was sitting in his round terdy dirhea palace ande the toilet was made of realy talking terds somtimes they hugged him and said”i wove you”so anyway fluffys owner was coming home and took him out and held him above her head and he pooped on her face with a SPLAT she said “bitching rabbit”!!!she ran inside to take a shower when she came back out she held him and spanked me after that he shot out a marbly little terd into her mouth and she GULPED IT and he pee’d the second after that and hit her in the nose and she said “IM KILLING YOU”!!but before she could his terdy toilet freinds came and they punched her THWOCK THWOCK and SPLAT SPLITTY SPLAT!!his little toilet freinds said “o gosh i wove u”and little old fluffy/he ate them and chewed with a gooshy sound of munch’in terds and they screamed “Basterd EE OUSE rabbit”!?!and fluffys freind FROSTY came over and greated Fluffy and Fluffy Greated Frosty and Frosty And Fluffy built an invention called the Poop-Mini-Gunner and sceintific name –POOPIOSE LE’TERD ODDER LORD OF STINKY POO MICK COLEMN HAIRY FAT MAN TERD–so they aimed it toward there town called Toilet city poo eee (they lived in the poopyis town of the underground Retard toilets for fat men and fat assed woman and always getting new poopy , slimy visitors each second and each time we great them as they slide down the slippery slide of pooey)AND SHOT THE CITY AND EVERYONE GREW INTO THE BROWNIST BROWNEY TERDS IN THE WORLD!! ALSO ONE REMINDER the biggest TeRd in the town is stanly who came from a 560Pound SUmo wrestler THE END))))”””””
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2nd version:
One Day Fluffys owner was coming home and she took him out and said “hi”i pooped on her face and she yelled at me and said”YOU rabbIT YOU”she went to take a shower and came back and said”IM SPANKING YOU FLUFFY”before she could i pooped a little marbly terd and it went in her mouth and she gulped it and she was so frusterated she pulled down her pants and farted on me and after that i peed on here face then she ran inside to take another shower and i made an invention while she was in the shower i called it the poop shooter i aimed ot at her shower window and SPLAT then THWOCK i broke the glass and it hit her in the nose and splatted a huge mushy dirhea splatter all on here nose she inhaled it and puked at the marbly terd i escaped by opening the lach and brought my poop shooter and made 90 terds combinded and shot it at the city THWOCK the city blew up with a dirheaish fireworks and everyone thought they saw Hamtaro (from the CarttonNetwork at 8:30AM and the 4:00PM show)shoot it and everyone in the city got out spears and arrows (BY THE WAY HAMTARO IS A HAMSTER)and Hamtaro said “crum crumb crum” and EVERYONE stabbed him and HAMTAROS eyes popped out and plopped on the floor with a splitty splat splitty noise and his balls fell off and everyone ate dirhea to surrvive but saddly little fluffy had to much fluffyness and killed everyone who looked at his fizzzy,fuzzy,fluffy,soothing,touching,scottish,dirheashish furr so everyone DIED IN A DIRHEAISH DEATH
THE EMD KIDS AND ADULTS
The Name Of My Poop Is George. He Is a Male
that’s the reason that i came here to dine
the poo is not all the good you are a big fat large guypoit ppoopp the reason that i asked you to come here is this: you are all part of a great entity….a gerat thing here
POOP ALL WORK
AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY ALL WORK AND NO PLAY
MAKESDJACK A DULL BOY ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A
DULL BOY1/41/4_-ppo-machines
POOP
POOP
POOP IN A DSOOPMOO STUPID LARGE POOPOO POIOPTTTT FARTS HAVE
A DELICIOUS ODOR
tTque pasa? yo soy un gato grandepo tha poo
is no ver6y good
i like the
poop
i wantheo warmn my hands upon your poo
yes that would be very nice
the cool thing about that is that you areodumb the
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOppppppppppppppppp moshing song; guerilla radio
by RATY,MJLHGK
The Manicle
Written in conjunction with stimpyismyname
–
Inside an “abandoned” wherehouse music store, lurks the evil evil man, Mr. Dr. Evil, that is not from Austin Powers because this is an entirely different story as you will see.
Well, here came along Miss Poodle back from pooing off the Statue of LIberty. She said, “Well, I am relieved now and the statue has a lovely new brown coat!”
And then Mr. Dr. Evil (that’s his full name), he…exposed…how he loathed all fat women named Miss Poodle, when he exclaimed, “How I loathe you fat women, named Miss Poodle!”
Miss Poodle was flabbergasted and said, “I’m flabbergasted,” she also added, “I have gas and my armpits are sweaty.”
Mr. Dr. Evil said, “Get out of my house, for I too have gas and together, we….um….yeah”
Miss Poodle got very interested. She raised a finger and as she did, the excitement was too much for her and she farted.
THE END…
nope
Mr. Dr. Evil realized then that he hadn’t gotten new shoes from Payless, and he ran away from his lab rather quickly, but being careful to not step on Miss Poodle, because, along with her large…um…thing…she was very attractive in a very strange way.
After getting his Land Before Time shoes, he was happy.
After Mr. Dr. Evil and Miss Poodle had a brief love affair, Mr. Dr. Evil decided that she was too big to handle…har har…and he would, have to giver her his Terribly Bad Bad Bad Evil Dangerously Bad Untested Big Bad Bottled Potion.
Oh no! Miss Poodle turned into The Manicle! The super cool fat lady that’s not really a lady comma but a man, and…and…and Mr. Dr. Evil is gay.
The Manicle is a guy with a spike on his….a real one, that can retract just like Wolverine’s but its on his head, not his hands.
The Manicle killed Mr. Dr. Evil because he’s gay and he doesn’t like gay people.
You may think its The End, but its not.
Interesting Facts
1. The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; “7” was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. “UP” indicated the direction of the bubbles.
2. Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
3. The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.
4. American car horns beep in the tone of F.
5. No piece of paper can be folded more than 7 times.
6. Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
7. 1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.
8. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
9. Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.
10. The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley’s gum.
11. The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.
12. A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother’s first flight.
13. Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
14. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA.”
15. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
16. The 57 on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of Varieties of pickles the company once had.
17. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
18. Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
19. The first owner of the Marlboro company died of lung cancer.
20. Barbie’s full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
21. Betsy Ross is the only real person to ever have been the head on a Pez dispenser.
22. Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
23. Adolf Hitler’s mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor.
24. Marilyn Monroe had six toes.
25. All US Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn’t like being seen wearing them in public.
26. Walt Disney was afraid of mice.
27. The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands in jelly
28. Debra Winger was the voice of E.T.
29. Pearls melt in vinegar.
30. It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year’s supply of footballs.
31. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
32. The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
33. Average life span of a major league baseball: seven pitches.
34. A duck’s quack doesn’t echo and no one knows why.
35. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
36. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
37. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
38. The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing.
39. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
40. There are more chickens than people in the world.
41. Two-thirds of the world’s eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
42. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is “screeched.”
43. On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.
44. All of the clocks in the movie “Pulp Fiction” are stuck on 4:20.
45. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
46. “Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt.”
47. All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial, on the back of the $5 bill.
48. Almonds are a member of the peach family.
49. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.
50. Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
51. There are only four words in the English language which end in “dous”: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
52. Los Angeles’ full name is “El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula”
53. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
54. An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
55. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
56. In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
57. Al Capone’s business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
58. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street, were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra’s “It’s a Wonderful Life,”
59. A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
60. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
61. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
62. It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
63. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
64. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
65. The microwave was invented, after a researcher walked by a radar tube, and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
66. Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.
67. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
68. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
69. “Stewardesses” is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.
70. Did you ever notice when you blow in a dogs face it gets mad at you but when you take the dog in a car it sticks its head out the window?
71. Sometimes…when you cry, no one sees your tears. Sometimes…when you are happy, no one sees your smile. But fart just one time….
72. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments!
73. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE.
74. David Duchovny was in a porno series called the Red Shoe Diaries where he read letters from people telling him a story, reading it aloud for his dog. He never got any, actually, in the show.
75. The main character from Pay It Forward died from a stomach wound
76. Dacky was made in paint by Fajita Bum
77. You CAN get into trouble for calling a white guy Aunt Jemima and calling him that name 10 times a day for a year
78. The AAA DOES NOT care about right triangles
79. Tiger’s Hit Clips don’t play the whole song. You buy less than a song
80. The cards in Guess Who? don’t actually talk
81. All the pets in really old movies over 10 years, are all (most likely) dead
82. Tagalong Girl Scout cookies cost 20 cents a cookie, at $3.00 a box of 15