Sing this like a terrible country song. I guess it’s a work in progress, but I’m not really working on it.
–
My barn burned down
My dog died
My tractor don’t work and I sold it for parts
Oh I can’t kiss you
but I —
I can fuck you!
Tag Archives: dog
pomernersmi
pomernersmi – n. a dog that is dressed in a diaper
evitamina
evitamina – v. to take a French poodle to an Opera
Joy to the World Parody #24699
Joy to the world
Santas dead
We barbecued his head
What happened to his body?
We flushed it down with some potties
We feed the rest to dogs, we fed the rest to dogs
Oh yeah I’m hot baby
Joke #24429
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.
It’s a shitzu.
Quote #23724
“I wanna get married with someone who is white lol and love me the most and have kids,big dog but puppy,and kittens. And live in small house <3 ”
– from a girl’s dating profile
Quote #23700
“Fair warning when your with me I want to be paid attention to I am like bringing a puppy home, I get lonely and I love like a dog I will always be there win you need me and will stand by your side if you love dogs you’ll love me…”
– from a girl’s dating profile
You should use a turnout lane when:
Loading ...Blocking an intersection during “rush hour” traffic is not permitted:
Loading ...Which of the following is true about double parking?
Loading ...Bizarro Facebook #23097: Bitch Beach
In the below image, I am “David.”
The guy eventually apologized and deleted all of his posts, saying that he was drunk when he posted. But that isn’t funny.
Meth Lab
Squacklecast Episode 14 – “An Eternity of Dog Food Commercials”
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Welcome to the “try-weekly” episode of the Squacklecast. This week we talk about this super sappy and emotional dog food commercial that will make anyone have a tear come to their eye because they’ve been puking their guts out at how much it makes you sick:
Another thing, is that they’re preparing Mac and Cheese for this asshole hours before he even gets home.
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Imagine getting out of your car one day, closing the door, and seeing a huge dog all of a sudden appear in front of you.
OH SHIT!
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Wouldn’t you like to live forever? It would give you enough time to finish off all of the Star Trek series before passing onto the next world, after all.
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If there’s one, two, or three movies you need to see before you die, it would be the 3 Ninjas series, with High Noon at Mega Mountain being the best.
It features a dangerous course full of fire built by a decrepit old man for his grandsons. I think that constitutes as child endangerment. Good thing he dies. Whoops, spoiler.
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Surf Ninjas was pretty awesome too. Here’s the others we were talking about:
Next Squacklecast, we’ll talk about more movies on our Netflix queues…
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What I learned from World of Warcraft is: “You don’t have something until you have it.” It’s a life lesson. Or something.
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Ras Al Ghul from Batman Begins became an eco-terrorist with his eternity of time to live.
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Total Recall (the real one) foretells a time of three-titted babes on Mars. I can’t wait to live there during my fifth lifetime.
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Curiosity is just using Instagram filters to take its pictures of Mars. Behold.
Before Instagram (aka before being cool):
After Instagram (aka now its cool):
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Facebook City? Also known as Las Vegas…
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Jonathan Frakes kind of overacts during his “Riker-focused” episodes in Star Trek. Here’s a select few where he’s always trying to bang a chick, a job once reserved for a Captain, now given to the Second-in-Command.:
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See you guys next month!!! GET ITTTT???!?!?!?
The Hound is Not Pleased
Those Are My Shoes
