Q: What word best describes the cat who went through college with an “A” average?
A: Purr-fect!
Tag Archives: college
Joke #13127
Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Smith were having a cup of tea. Mrs. Jones said, “So, your son Arthur is in college. What’s he going to be when he graduates?”
Mrs. Smith placed her tea cup on the table and replied, “Off hand, I’d say about fifty years old.”
Joke #13099
SUE: “Harry is the recording secretary of our college chess club.”
LOU: “What does he do?”
SUE: “He reads the hours of the last meeting.”
Joke #12857
What an ego my college roommate has! He says he wouldn’t let them make a clone of him because they simply couldn’t improve on perfection.
Joke #12837
Football player to his college coach: “I know I’m not too smart, coach, but can you stop the other guys from hiding my coloring books and crayons?”
Joke #12833
OVERHEARD: “When I was in college, I was on the football team, but the coach didn’t think much of my ability. I’ll never forget one rough game we played. Every player on my team got hurt except me. In the last quarter, with 3 minutes to go, our right tackle got hurt. I was sitting on the bench all by myself when the coach took a look over at me and said, ‘Kelly, get up and move aside. I’m sending the bench.'”
Joke #12691
I’m the only student in the world who graduated from college Summa Cum Default.
Joke #12666
MOTHER WACKLY: “Did I tell you my son, Roger, is playing end guard on the college football team this year?”
NEIGHBOR: “End guard? I never heard of an end guard.”
MOTHER WACKLY: “Yes, he told me he sits on the end of the bench and guards the water bucket!”
Joke #12665
COLLEGE PROFESSOR (to dumb football player): “Look, Mike, I’ll give you an easy test. Let’s say I take 7 apples from 12 apples. What’s the difference?”
FOOTBALL PLAYER: “That’s what I say, Prof, what’s the difference?”
Joke #12641
A football scout returned from the hills of Kentucky and told his boss, “I found a kid up there who is six feet, nine inches tall and weighs four hundred pounds. He has hands like hams and a neck size of thirty inches.”
The college coach jumped up from behind his desk and shouted, “He sounds like what the team needs. Bring him in.”
“I can’t,” said the scout. “His chain only reaches ten feet.”
Joke #12634
COLLEGE STUDENTS: Take art and logic and learn to draw your own conclusions.
Joke #12628
OVERHEARD: “A college professor was telling a friend, ‘My wife is very optimistic about my future. She has already spent my next year’s salary.”
Joke #12618
A college athlete told a friend: “Martha is a great tennis player with a powerful backhand. Last night at the drive-in movie, I tried to kiss her, and she slapped me four times.”
Joke #12614
I read in the papers about a Mid-West college football player who stands 6 foot 9 and weighs 465 pounds. His doctor put him on a diet. Now he can only eat one cow a day.
Joke #12606
A guy took his girl to a college football practice and pointed towards the players. “See that big guy over there, Number 15?” he said. “I think he’s going to be our best man next year.”
The coed said, “Golly! This is so sudden!”