Q: If Hungarians eat goulash and Mexicans eat tacos, what do Chinese eat?
A: Chow Mein-ly!
Q: If Hungarians eat goulash and Mexicans eat tacos, what do Chinese eat?
A: Chow Mein-ly!
“China has the best harbors in China”
– davepoobond
“We have 10,000 Chinese”
– Mrs. DYKE
“This is chairman Mao’s little red book!”
– Mrs. DYKE
“Chairman Mao is the best thing since sliced bread”
– Mrs. DYKE
“China doesn’t have to be a player”
– Mrs. DYKE
There was this Chinese gentleman who left a loaf of rye in front of an idol.
It was a case of bread and Buddha.
Did you hear about the man who owned a china shop and complained continually because he got all of the breaks?
Tim: Tammy, who was that on the phone?
Tammy: Oh, just a woman saying it was long distance from China. But I told her I already knew that!
Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations. It shouldn’t be that hard, yet even the big multi-nationals run into trouble because of language and cultural differences. For example…
The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means “bite the wax tadpole” or “female horse stuffed with wax” depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, “ko-kou-ko-le,” which can be loosely translated as “happiness in the mouth.”
In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan “Come alive with the Pepsi Generation” came out as “Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead.”
Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan “finger-lickin’ good” came out as “eat your fingers off.”
When General Motors introduced the Chevy Nova in South America, it was apparently unaware that “no va” means “it won’t go.” After the company figured out why it wasn’t selling any cars, it renamed the car in its Spanish markets to the Caribe.
Ford had a similar problem in Brazil when the Pinto flopped. The company found out that Pinto was Brazilian slang for “tiny male genitals”. Ford pried all the nameplates off and substituted Corcel, which means horse.
When Parker Pen marketed a ballpoint pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to say “It won’t leak in your pocket and embarrass you.” However, the company’s mistakenly thought the spanish word “embarazar” meant embarrass. Instead the ads said that “It wont leak in your pocket and make you pregnant.”
An American t-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope’s visit. Instead of the desired “I Saw the Pope” in Spanish, the shirts proclaimed “I Saw the Potato.”
Chicken-man Frank Perdue’s slogan, “It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken,” got terribly mangled in another Spanish translation. A photo of Perdue with one of his birds appeared on billboards all over Mexico with a caption that explained “It takes a hard man to make a chicken aroused.”
Hunt-Wesson introduced its Big John products in French Canada as Gros Jos before finding out that the phrase, in slang, means “big breasts.” In this case, however, the name problem did not have a noticeable effect on sales.
In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the name into Schweppes Toilet Water.
Japan’s second-largest tourist agency was mystified when it entered English-speaking markets and began receiving requests for unusual sex tours. Upon finding out why, the owners of Kinki Nippon Tourist Company changed its name.
In an effort to boost orange juice sales in predominantly continental breakfast eating England, a campaign was devised to extol the drink’s eye-opening, pick-me-up qualities. Hence, the slogan, “Orange juice. It gets your pecker up.”
teh – n. a man who lives in China and whose name is dying out because of spell check
;} a misspelling of “the” that has been overused in recent months to make fun of people who misspell “the.”
TCHS – Acronym. acronym for “The Chinese High School,” an evil place that teaches kidnapped boys to masturbate
pokutits – n. a gay Chinese dog eating a cheeseburger