Q: What country did the python represent at the Olympics?
A: The United Snakes of America.
Q: What country did the python represent at the Olympics?
A: The United Snakes of America.
7 A.M.: Good Moan-ing America! on A-Boo-C
8 A.M.: Ghoul-igans Island
9 A.M.: Father Knows Beast
10 A.M.: Name That Tomb
11 A.M.: Squeal of Fortune
12 P.M.: Noose at Noon
1 P.M.: The Newly-dead Game
2 P.M.: The Broody Bunch
3 P.M.: Bury Manilow Spe-chill
6 P.M.: Entertainment Tomb-night
7 P.M.: Groaning Pains
8 P.M.: Dead of the Class
9 P.M.: Boonanza
10 P.M.: St. Else-scare
12 A.M.: Late Night with David Lettermoan
Q: What patriotic song do ghosts like best?
A: “America the Boo-tiful!”
Q: What American City is least popular with our animal friends?
A: Fleadelphia!
Q: What American statesman is the all-time canine favorite?
A: Benji-min Franklin!
I hope its not just me, but I find it unbelievably pretentious to name a whole month after a super-specific idea. It pisses me off every time we hit Black History Month. Excuse me, I think that month is actually called FEBRUARY. Sorry if I don’t think your stupid cancer awareness or asian pacific heritage deserves one twelfth of the year to be devoted to your seemingly important cause.
These kinds of holidays should only be allowed to claim one day or at most one week of the year. There are 365 days. Pick ONE of those, you greedy assholes. I hear there’s a bunch of days in August where nothing happens, how about one of those? Why do I have to hear about your sanctimonious bullshit for a whole god damn month? We get it. You want us to learn about you. Wah wah cry me a river. Why don’t you go do something meaningful with your time rather than parading around saying “OH IT’S CANCER AWARENESS MONTH!”
Shit. I wasn’t aware of cancer. But I sure as hell am now considering there’s a whole fucking month named after it. HOORAY!
Just looking at the list of month long holidays on Wikipedia, I’m astounded half of them exist. Here’s a current list of stupid bullshit month-long holidays:
American Heart Month • Asian Pacific American Heritage Month • Black History Month • Cancer Control Month • Child Abuse Prevention Month • Confederate History Month • Gay and Lesbian Pride Month • Jewish American Heritage Month • National Breast Cancer Awareness Month • National Disability Employment Awareness Month • National Hispanic Heritage Month • National Nutrition Month • Ramadan • Steelmark Month • Women’s History Month
I’m giving you the big FU to all of it. I am now founding “I Hate Month-Long Holidays” Year — and it’ll be the whole year long every year until the rest of time. How do you like that????
It’s also amazing to me that you only care about preventing child abuse one month out of the year, but the rest of the time its a-okay (unless you get caught)!
“South America is in the South!”
– davepoobond
“oh, excuse me! Miss America has to run!”
– from somewhere around davepoobond’s high school
“All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn”
– from somewhere around davepoobond’s high school
“BE PREPARED, fellow Americans!”
– from somewhere around davepoobond’s high school
“You’re gonna get to read American history in English”
– Mrs. DYKE
“We are the yourtth pof america. you cannot tle”
– Nose