Q: How does Michael Jackson know its time for bed?
A: When the big hand is on the little hand.
Joke #9067
Q: What’s the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven?
A: A microwave stops when you open the door.
Joke #9066
Q: What do you call a man with a blackhead on his dick?
A: Hugh Grant.
Joke #9065
Q: What’s white and sticky and found on the bathroom wall?
A: George Michael’s latest release.
Dream #9064
I had this dream today in the morning:
I was in a white room with a table, and like 5 other people were my “friends.” and we were like talking/waiting for something. there were windows, but it was just bright light. and the table was right next to a door, and some old ass lady comes out and introduces herself. she looks like a gym class teacher, but really old and haggy. and she like shakes our hands. i was sitting on the table, and i see the friend that was sitting down next to me go to shake her hand with the wrong hand and end up just petting her hand instead. and then i laugh at him for being a retard, but then he just looks at me like “why did you do that, i did that for a reason” and then i notice there’s like two huge rings on the old lady’s hand. and the old lady just keeps smiling.
I guess the only thing that could have been happening was that the 5 of us were there to infiltrate somethin and get somethin and we were just acting a part
Dream #9063
The Dreams Tag is a tag that has all the records of any dreams I see fit to actually write down.
–
I had a dream on November 18…
I was at school and my mom owned a cheap jewelry thing that sold like crappy wooden beaded bracelets and that kinda junk jewelery.
so when i went over there to say bye to her cause i was leaving school, there was a blonde chick there. and she was said she was someone i know’s sister and was asking me why i talked to him all the time. she flew down there to talk to me. she looked like she was like 15 and she had a red rolling backpack with braided hair.
she was like “he’s very emotionally depressed you shouldn’t talk to him it only makes him worse” or something like that and i’m like “uh whatever”
and then i woke up, but i was kinda in that half-dreaming mode so i “continued” my dream and then just started beating her up cause she was annoying
Joke #9062
Q: What’s the difference between Christopher Reeves and OJ Simpson?
A: Christopher Reeves got the electric chair….and O.J walked!
Joke #9061
Q: What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common?
A: They both live off dead Beatles.
Joke #9060
Q: Why can’t the government put Magic Johnson on a stamp?
A: Everyone would be afraid to lick it.
Joke #9059
Q: What does Ellen DeGeneres cook for dinner every night?
A: She doesn’t, she eats out!
Joke #9058
Q: How come Mike Tyson’s eyes water during sex?
A: Mace
Joke #9057
Q: Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky turned Republican?
A: The democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.
Joke #9056
Q: What’s Bill Clinton’s idea of safe sex?
A: When Hillary is out of town.
Joke #9054
Q: Why does Hillary Clinton want to have sex with Bill Clinton first thing in the morning?
A: She wants to be the first lady.
Joke #9053
Q: What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?
A: A Michael Jackson slumber party.