Quote #22747

“WARNING: Any institutions or individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for studies or projects-you DO NOT have permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you have or do, it will be considered a violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications. It is recommended that other members post a similar notice.”

– from lots of people’s dating profiles and it makes no sense and oh look I posted the warning itself guess it doesn’t fucking do anything to protect you after all.

Quote #22744

First Date:

“I like long walks off short peers, throwing balogna at fat kids and punching babies. I have a rapist wit, I can sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman in white gloves. TO BE OR NOT TO BE…. THAT IS THE QUESTION? Haha I dunno dude my mind is all over the place but I am feelin it TOTALLY. I f**kin rock dude’s and if you don’t know that well its obvious your f*n gay hahahah. Naw not really but if I haven’t raped you with my wit then pssshhhtttt you have no sense of humour SERIOUSLY. NO not really but if your not charmed by me by now by the end of this sentence STOP READING. I am most def not the chick for you hahahahah. Anyone else thanks for stopping by, I appreciate the appreciation!!!! So here we are me and you reader…….SOOOO WHAT ARE YOU WEARINGGGG??? hahahahahahahah JKKKKK I’m out……………………”

– from a girl’s dating profile

Quote #22742

A girl spent about 10 minutes trying to fix a paper jam for the paperwork she was printing out for me after davepoobond gets his car serviced.

She opens the back of the printer, and for about 30 seconds she is digging in it without being able to look in, and finally she pulls out a piece of paper.

davepoobond: “It’s a boy!”

Obviously she didn’t get it as a joke because her emotional response was not indicative of understanding it as one.  And then the printer paper jammed again as more sheets were printing.

– at a car dealer service area

Quote #22741

Old Woman 1 enters the waiting room at a dealer car service place.  She comes in and recognizes Old Woman 2 saying something about how she recognizes her and something about church, but davepoobond was not listening intently on that part.  Old Woman 1 decides to “introduce” herself after Old Woman 2 doesn’t really recognize her anyway, and denying that she even does the things the Old Woman 1 was saying.

Old Woman 1: “Hi! My name is Nancy.”

Old Woman 2: “Oh.”

Old Woman 1: “What’s your name?”

Old Woman 2: “Huh?”

Old Woman 1: “What’s your name?”

Old Woman 2 says something about the TV being loud and Old Woman 1 asks like one or two more times, she has to raise her voice but since she’s old, she can’t really.

Old Woman 2: “Oh ………………. Louise.”

Old Woman 1: “Oh that’s my real name!”

– at a car dealer service place