Q: What do you get when you cross a careless guillotine operator with a bank robber?
A: A one-armed bandit.
Joke #10973
Q: Why should you never sneeze on someone’s bag lunch?
A: How are they going to trade it after you’ve sneezed on it?
Joke #10972
Q: Why do doctors study bad skin disorders before prescribing medicine?
A: They don’t want to be rash.
Joke #10971
Q: On “Gilligan’s Island,” what did the castaways do when they ran out of seasoning?
A: They used Ginger.
Joke #10970
Q: What did the Skipper call Gilligan when the witch doctor shrunk his head?
A: Little buddy.
Joke #10969
Q: What do you call a talk show host who gets hit by a doughnut truck?
A: Sally Jelly Raphael
Joke #10968
Q: What do you call a shipwrecked rich man when you stick with a needle?
A: Mr. Howl.
Joke #10967
Q: What do you call a talk show host who is yelling in a burning building?
A: Arson-eeee-oooh!
Joke #10966
Q: What do you call a sitcom about a soldier with diarrhea?
A: “Gomer Piles.”
Joke #10965
Q: What do you call a talk show host who gets hit by a Buick?
A: Geraldo Riviera
Joke #10964
Answer: A real rich guy, what comes up when you clear your throat, and a school kid who’s a doctor.
Question: What’s a Kluge, a lugey, and a Doogie?
Dream #10963
I had a dream where I was running through a casino with no shirt on. I also had no chest hair, no shoes or socks, and only wearing some shorts with palm trees on them over my boxers.
I had just woken up from a disjointed bedroom that was disconnected from the other part of the room or something, and I was asking which way it was to the room, but I didn’t know anything about it.
Then I was transported into a small swimming pool in a dark place where I started doing some hot chicks.
#10962: davepoobond -> MadManWithAnAxe
davepoobond: why’d you call me
MadManWithAnAxe: I didn’t
davepoobond: how did you even get my number
MadManWithAnAxe: Was it really your number?
davepoobond: yeah…
MadManWithAnAxe: it got an error thing
davepoobond: oh
MadManWithAnAxe: 523 848 0334
MadManWithAnAxe: that’s not it, is it?
davepoobond: it is
davepoobond: actually it isn’t, i was just jerkin your chain. ha ha ha oh boy.
MadManWithAnAxe: heh heh heh, I’ll leave that message out of my conversation with btt
davepoobond: k. you dont have my sn sending to him do you
davepoobond: i’m guessing you did
davepoobond: since stimpyismyname just sent it back to me
MadManWithAnAxe: I copied what you said
#10961: blowthetoad -> stimpyismyname
blowthetoad: eh whats dave’s phone number
blowthetoad: me and madmanwithanaxe would love to know it
stimpyismyname: 523 848 0334
stimpyismyname: …oh shit
blowthetoad: are you serious?
stimpyismyname: no
stimpyismyname: dont dial it
blowthetoad: 848 0334 is a bakery in atlanta
blowthetoad: you’ve betrayed me
stimpyismyname: heh
blowthetoad: >:o
blowthetoad: wait…. you did say he worked in a bakery
blowthetoad: does he live in atlanta now?
stimpyismyname: maaaaybe
blowthetoad: maaaaybe not? 🙁
stimpyismyname: ask for john
blowthetoad: omg it worked
stimpyismyname: cool
stimpyismyname: whatd he say
blowthetoad: “yeah who’s this?”
blowthetoad: and i was like “blowtheto… er… your mom”
blowthetoad: then giggled like a school girl and hung up
stimpyismyname: heh
stimpyismyname: you fool
blowthetoad: fool im not
blowthetoad: you believed me
blowthetoad: 😉
stimpyismyname: ah
stimpyismyname: i meant fool for hanging up… but whatever
blowthetoad: you believed me again
blowthetoad: DOUBLE WHAMMY!!!
stimpyismyname: ok..
blowthetoad: i didnt even dial it
blowthetoad: madman did
stimpyismyname: good for you
stimpyismyname: pussy
blowthetoad: i am what i eat
blowthetoad: OOOOH
blowthetoad: I GOT YOU THURR DOGG!
#10960: Phoenix -> davepoobond
Phoenix: I’m pretty sure I should be shot.
davepoobond: why do you think that
Phoenix: Or at the very least burned alive
Phoenix: I’m becoming addicted to neopets again
davepoobond: or maybe you should dig your own grave
davepoobond: and then be executed
davepoobond: and buried in the grave you dug yourself
Phoenix: Then bury myself.
davepoobond: you’d be dead before that
Phoenix: sure I would.You don’t know me very well.
Phoenix signed off at 8:03 PM