Q: What did the candle say to the other candle?
A: Let’s go out together.
Joke #11309
Q: What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?
A: Better get ready — the doctor is taking us out tonight.
Joke #11308
Q: What did the bee say to the rose?
A: Hi, bud.
Joke #11307
Q: What did one ear say to the other ear?
A: Between you and me we need a haircut.
Joke #11306
Q: What did one eye say to the other eye?
A: Just between you and me, there’s something that smells.
Joke #11305
Q: What did the short-order cook give his girlfriend when they became engaged?
A: A fourteen-karat onion ring.
Joke #11304
Q: Why did everyone call the Cyclops a playboy?
A: He had an eye for the ladies.
Joke #11303
“Did you hear the one about the lovesick frogs?”
“No. How does it end?”
“…and they lived hoppily ever after.”
Joke #11302
Q: Whom do birds marry?
A: Their tweet hearts.
Joke #11301
Q: What did the snake give his girlfriend on their first date?
A: A good-night hiss.
high school syndrome
high school syndrome – n. a medical condition in which you always like to have drama going on around you
Joke #11299
Will you remember me tomorrow?
Of course I will.
Will you remember me next week?
Of course I will.
Will you remember me next year?
Of course I will.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
See, you forgot me already!
Joke #11298
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce get married.
Joke #11297
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Honeydew.
Honeydew who?
Honeydew you love me?
Joke #11296
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butcher.
Butcher who?
Butcher arms around me, honey, and hold me tight.