Q: Why does a flying saucer never pay a toll on the turnpike?
A: Because the pilot does.
Joke #11634
Q: What did the fire hydrant say to the Martian?
A: Are you sure there are no dogs on Mars?
Joke #11633
Q: How can you make a pair of spacesuit pants last?
A: Make the tops first.
Joke #11632
Q: Why would a barber rather give six Earthlings haircuts than one visitor from space?
A: Because he’d get six times as much money, silly!
Joke #11631
Q: What did the hairless creature from space say when he got a comb for a gift?
A: I’ll never part with it.
Joke #11630
Q: What did the Martian say to the gas pump?
A: Take your finger out of your ear and listen to me!
Joke #11629
Q: What are two things a spaceman can never eat for breakfast?
A: Lunch and dinner.
–
Another version of this joke:
Q: What are the two things you can never eat for breakfast?
A: Lunch and dinner.
spacewich
spacewich – n. a food in which there are two slices of bread with nothing in between.
Joke #11627
Q: What did the Martian say when he fell in love with the fire hydrant?
A: I’d like to nozzle up with you.
Joke #11626
Q: What did the first Martian who landed on Earth say to the fire hydrant?
A: Take me to your leader.
Spaced Out TV
Love Rocket – The Captain tricks his passengers into taking space-walks without lifelines. Different cast each week.
Star Ick! – Story of a space doctor who is all thumbs! Not for the squeamish.
Hidden Camera – Secret cameras in the Black Hole photograph darkness. No plot. Restful on the eyes.
Six Dollar Man – CHeap computerized humanoid spends each week wondering when his transistors are going to short out.
M*U*S*H – Medical unit during foolish war on strange planet. Wounded robots keep reassembling themselves. Doctors feel unwanted.
Merv Graffiti – Talk show. Interviews with space creatures and a talking pet rock. Dull. Rock is lousy conversationalist.
Eight Is Too Much – Dad has problems trying to raise eight space creatures while orbiting the Earth in a rocket with only one bathroom.
Mook & Cindy – Female from Earth lands on weird planet and moves in with space creature.
Fantasy Planet – Dull fantasies. Everybody wishes they were back on Earth!
Mary Tyler Less – Hilarious adventures of a career girl on a Space Station. Will the boss give her a raise? Or will she just drift in space? Who cares?
The Zonic Woman – Adventures of a female humanoid whose voice is programmed so loud she causes a zonic boom wherever she goes. People are glad when she leaves. And then–BOOM!
For more listings, read TV Glutton Magazine.
Asteroid Graffiti
Lassie’s Comet
A Star With a Tail
Astronauts
Out to Launch!
Explore the sun!
Go at night!
Skylab fell
Due to lack of support
Planet MacDonald’s Has
Golden Arch
Space Food Causes Empty Feeling
Moon Fell–
Beams gave way
Space Food
In a few light years, you’re hungry again!
Joke #11623
Mother space creature to her son: “Junior! What are you doing?”
Junior space creature: “Chasing this Earthling around a tree”
Mother space creature: “How many times have I told you not to play with your food?”
Joke #11622
Two space creatures attacked Earth and were in the process of devouring Hollywood.
They found a storage vault filled with movie film and began chomping away on a reel of film, each at a different end, working toward each other.
When they met at the middle, the first space creature said, “How’d you like it?”
“Not bad,” said the other. “But I liked the book better.”
Joke #11621
The visitor from space said to the Earthling, “If I had a thousand soldiers, and you have a thousand soldiers, and we had a war, who would win?”
The Earth man said, “I don’t know. I give up.”
And the space man said, “Then I win – you just gave up!”