HOCKEY PLAYER: “Last year I broke my nose in six places.”
REPORTER: “That’s impossible.”
HOCKEY PLAYER: “No, it isn’t. I broke it in Montreal, New York, Chicago, Atlanta, Los Angeles, and Philadelphia.”
Joke #12136
Contrary to popular belief, cheerleaders do not drink root beer before football games.
Joke #12135
A golfer teed his ball, then said to his partner, “You can make this hole in one long drive and one putt.” He took a swing at the ball and ball rolled off the tee around three feet. Undaunted he said, “Now for one heck of a putt.”
Joke #12134
A baseball rookie was trying on his new uniform before his first game in the majors. He said to his manager, “This cap seems a little too large.”
His manager shot back, “See that it stays that way.”
Joke #12133
Two men start a conversation at a baseball game. The first says, “My favorite sport is football. What’s yours?”
The other fellow replies, “I think hockey is great. I’m a dentist!”
Joke #12131
The baseball manager rushed out on to the field and yelled at the umpire, “Fred, I’m not really mad at you, but my Mom is in the stand and I want her to see me in action.”
Joke #12130
Did you hear about the football player who was so dumb that once he got lost in a huddle?
Joke #12129
A battered and bruised man told his lawyer, “Las night I came home late and my wife hit me with a baseball bat. After she finished hitting me, her four brothers took turns hitting me with the bat. Next, her mother hit me with the baseball bat. Is that legal?”
His lawyer thought a moment, then replied, “Yes and no. Yes, it’s legal for your wife to hit you, but no, it’s not legal to bring in so many pinch hitters.”
Joke #12128
A young kid asked the manager of a baseball team for a tryout before the game. The manager told him to come back when he was older. After the game the kid asked again for a tryout.
The manager yelled, “Look, kid, I told you to come back when you’re older.”
The lad answered, “I am older. I watched your team play and they aged me twelve years.”
shituation
shituation – n. a shitty situation
;} a situation involving defecation
Joke #12126
Q: What’s the first thing you have to know in order to try out for a water polo team?
A: How to swim.
Joke #12125
Rumor has it that Grand Canyon was made when Paul Bunyan took up golf and discovered he was a duffer.
Joke #12124
Of course you’ve heard about the athlete who was so short, he could only play handball against the curb.
Joke #12123
Q: What do you get if you cross a polar bear with an ice hockey player?
A: I don’t know, but when it wants to score a goal, no one tries to stop it.
Joke #12122
Q: Did you hear about the golf club that excluded females from its annual tournament?
A: The board of directors claimed that they were terrible drivers.