Sigmund Freud’s pet dog spent a lot of time on his master’s couch.
Joke #12561
I’m in bad shape financially. I just second mortgaged my house to pay the loan I took out to pay my income tax.
Joke #12560
Los Angeles Airport is the only place in the world where passengers get airsick after they disembark from their plane.
Joke #12559
Cloning isn’t a new process. For years, every time I filled out my income tax, I doubled my dependents.
Joke #12558
Talk about rich people. He’s so wealthy that after he finished buying groceries, he tips the cashier.
Joke #12557
COBBLER TO CUSTOMER: “I can tell you why my soles don’t wear as well as they used to. It’s because these days all the good leather goes into steaks.”
Joke #12556
Scientists have developed a new camera that can take photographs of the entire world. They tried one, but the picture turned out terrible. Someone moved.
Joke #12554
Inflation has reduced my household to a two-party system: a New Year’s Eve Party and a Christmas Party.
Joke #12553
Did you hear about the pickpocket who had an accident and lost all his fingers except one? Now all he can pickpocket are Life Savers and doughnuts.
Joke #12552
Things must be tougher in Washington than we imagine. Yesterday, the Treasury Department got a shut-off notice from the electric company.
Joke #12551
Inflation hasn’t ruined everything. A dime can still be used as a screwdriver.
Joke #12550
BUSINESSMAN: “I hate gin and vermouth.”
SECRETARY: “Then why do you have twelve martinis for lunch every day?”
BUSINESSMAN: “I can’t help myself. I love olives.”
Joke #12549
Contrary to popular belief, youngsters do know the value of a dollar today …two candy bars and a comic book.
Joke #12548
With food prices and inflation sky high, I don’t know which is emptier — my wallet or my refrigerator.
Joke #12547
These days the only thing harder to keep than a secret is money.