Did you hear about the basketball player who was so tall, King Kong once tried to climb him?
Joke #12799
I know one fellow who was so scary, on Halloween he didn’t have to buy a mask.
Joke #12798
A wise man once said: “A bright eye indicates curiosity and a black eye indicates too much curiosity.”
Joke #12797
Q: What do you get if you cross a woman with a goat?
A: A lady who’s always butting into other people’s affairs.
Joke #12796
My secretary isn’t an office gossip. She’s a magician. She can turn an eyeful or an earful into a mouthful.
Joke #12795
MADGE: “Carol, tell me more gossip about Mike and Linda.”
CAROL: “I can’t, Madge. I already told you more than I heard myself.”
Joke #12794
You can always recognize a gossip at a beauty parlor. She’s the lady with a face full of mud and an ear full of dirt.
Joke #12793
“I have a magic savings account at the bank.”
“What do you mean?”
“My wife makes money disappear from it.”
Joke #12792
Girls, don’t worry about an individual retirement plan. Marry a rich man.
Joke #12791
Doctor Smith phoned Mike, his mechanic, in the middle of the night and said, “It’s my engine again, Mike. I can’t get it started. That car is one big headache!”
“Well, Doc, take two aspirin and phone me again in the morning.”
Joke #12790
MOTHER: “If evolution really worked, I’d have more than one pair of hands.”
Joke #12789
BOSS: “Smith has a fractured skull. How did the accident happen?”
JONES: “Well, Smith said to me, ‘I’ll hold this spike and when I nod my head, hit it with the sledgehammer.”
Joke #12788
I have a friend who’s so rich, it’s disgusting! When his car runs out of gas, he throws it away and buys a new one.
Joke #12787
It’s time to start an exercise program when your old rival for your wife’s hand tells you how young and fit you look.
Joke #12786
Did you hear about the man who made sofa beds all day and slept on his job all night?