OVERHEARD: “When I was in college, I was on the football team, but the coach didn’t think much of my ability. I’ll never forget one rough game we played. Every player on my team got hurt except me. In the last quarter, with 3 minutes to go, our right tackle got hurt. I was sitting on the bench all by myself when the coach took a look over at me and said, ‘Kelly, get up and move aside. I’m sending the bench.'”
Joke #12832
The golf match to end all golf matches was played up in Heaven by St. Peter and St. Paul. St. Peter had the honor of the first tee and promptly made a hole in one.
St. Paul, undaunted, repeated the performance.
St. Peter marked the scores down dutifully on his card, then remarked, “What do you say, Paul? Let’s cut out the miracles and get down to business!”
Joke #12831
A man came home from the golf course and said to his wife, “I played in the 70’s today. I hope the temperature is like that tomorrow too.”
Joke #12830
“Did you hear about the pro track sprinter who was faster than a speeding bullet?”
“Yeah. The coach fired him.”
Joke #12829
WIFE: “You play golf every weekend and I’m getting tired of it. If you spent a whole weekend home with me, I think I’d drop dead!”
MAN: “Stop trying to bribe me!”
Joke #12828
A prize fighter doing road work with his manager one morning spotted a little girl jumping rope. He turned to his manager and asked, “Who’s she fighting?”
Joke #12827
Did you hear about the crumby baseball player who became a great bowler because he was an expert when it came to striking out?
Joke #12826
Old baseball players never have mental breakdowns. They just go a little batty.
Joke #12825
Caught in passing: “He’s such a bum fighter that yesterday he was shadow boxing and the shadow knocked him out!”
Joke #12824
People who think about bowling constantly are nothing but pinheads.
Joke #12823
Q: What did the nervous wrestler say?
A: “I’ve got to get a hold on myself.”
Joke #12822
It was the night of a big basketball game when a couple walked up to the Madison Square Garden box office. The man asked the ticket seller, “Do you have two tickets for tonight’s game?”
The clerk replied, “I’m sorry, but we’re sold out except for standing room only!”
The man then asked, “Are they together?”
Joke #12821
Q: Why do hobos who play football make great pass receivers?
A: Because they know every down-and-out pattern in the book.
Joke #12820
Any sportsman will tell you that fish grow faster than any other game animal. That’s because every time a fisherman tells the story about the big one that got away, the fish grows at least another foot.
Joke #12819
Another baseball first happened yesterday in New York City. Umpires decided to call a night baseball game on account of daylihgt.