Did you hear about the man who had four teenaged daughters? He called the phone company to complain about an obscene phone bill.
Joke #13141
The father told his son, “I won’t waste money on pet food. If you want a pet, get one that will eat table scraps.”
The next day the son brought home a termite farm.
Joke #13140
Our house is so small, the attic is in the basement.
Joke #13139
MR. WHITE: “My wife is an angel!”
MR. BLACK: “Gosh! You are lucky. Mine is still living.”
Joke #13138
He’s so strong, he can life one hundred pounds with one hand. He has to be that strong. One of his wife’s dumplings weighs that much.
Joke #13137
My wife makes the only meat loaf in town that has to be cut with a hack saw.
Joke #13136
I’m not fussy. I’ll eat anything my wife puts on the table, as long as she didn’t cook it.
Joke #13135
My wife claims that her credit cards give her E.S.P. – Extra Spending Power.
Joke #13134
A kid came home from school and told his mother, “Mrs. Henderson had triplets on Monday and twins on Tuesday.”
His mother said, “That’s impossible.”
The kid replied, “No, it’s not. One of the triplets got lost.”
Joke #13133
My kids’ table manners disgust me. You can’t imagine how sickening it is to watch a four-year-old and a five-year-old sip chicken noodle soup through crazy straws.
Joke #13132
My mother-in-law is a real drip. You can hear her, but you can’t turn her off.
Joke #13131
There’s only one thing about my mother-in-law that I don’t like. She’s still breathing!
Joke #13130
The other day a wife said to her husband, “We’ve been married ten years and it’s been five years since you put your arms around me and gave me a hug.”
Looking her right in the eye, the man replied, “Don’t blame me. Blame your eating habits! It’s been five years since I could get my arms around you!”
Joke #13129
I’ve been married ten years and there’s still a lot I don’t know about my mother-in-law… like what she looks like with her mouth closed!
Joke #13128
My mother-in-law is so overweight, her rolls of fat come in a baker’s dozen.