JUDGE: “Why do you rob banks?”
CROOK: “Well, Your Honor, that’s where the money is.”
Joke #13246
Did you hear about the absent-minded gangster who took a sack with a body in it to the laundry and threw his dirty clothes in the river?
Joke #13245
“Tonight, we’re going to burglarize a ladies’ lingerie company,” the boss said to his mob. “And just remember one thing — I don’t want any slips.”
Joke #13244
I think the kid next door is going to grow up to be a gangster. For Christmas, he asked Santa Claus for a violin case, a shoulder holster and a ton of cement.
Joke #13243
A crook walked up to a man and pointed a gun at him. “Stick ’em up,” he yelled.
“Stick what up?” the victim asked.
“Look, don’t mix me up,” the crook replied. “This is my first job.”
Joke #13242
PLAINTIFF: “Your Honor, the defendant drove down my street in his car, hit me and knocked me into some bushes twenty feet away. He’s guilty of reckless driving.”
DEFENDANT: “Maybe I am, Your Honor, but he’s guilty of leaving the scene of an accident.”
Joke #13241
GANGSTER: “I wouldn’t say Sharkey writes rubber checks, but I would tell you this. You can dribble his checkbook.”
Joke #13240
Did you hear about the robber who was so crooked, he could hide in the shadow of a corkscrew?
Joke #13239
Joe Smith is a con man. I’d never trust him. Before I’d agree to one of his deals, I’d see a lawyer. And if the lawyer approved of the deal, I’d see another lawyer.
Joke #13238
Nothing about that young hoodlum is straight. Even his shadow is crooked.
Joke #13237
Crook with a gun to garage owner: “I expect about a thousand bucks and that’s just an estimate, Mac.”
Joke #13236
JUDGE: “Why did you hit your wife with a baseball bat, Mr. Tupper?”
TUPPER: “Because I couldn’t find my hockey stick.”
Joke #13235
Did you hear about the prisoners who dug a tunnel under the prison wall? The tunnel was so good, they put a toll booth in it.
Joke #13234
I read in the newspaper about a French cat burglar who’s doing great. So far, he’s gotten away with twenty-five cats.
Joke #13233
LAWYER: “Where were you on the night of December 24th?”
DEFENDANT: “Up at the North Pole helping Santa Claus.”